Hi springsjean,
I'm so sorry about your husband being ill and all the problems you both are having.. been there and it stinks!
I wish I had some really great advice for you.. I can only talk from experience and when I was sick with lyme I was working at a major corporation (at that time I didn't know it was lyme, I just knew I was sick). I was taking days off, sitting at my desk with bad chills from fevers, etc.
I kept seeing different doctors and yep, still no diagnosis. Finally I met a doctor who told me to chart my temperature everyday which I did. He gave me a letter to give to work stating that I was suffering from abnormal fevers and that I needed 3 months off aka "leave of absence".. Naturally I didn't get paid for those 3 months but at least I had my job.
If I were you, see as many doctors as you can just for now and get something in writing.
Hope this helps a little bit,
Denise