Do you ever just want to Stop?

I know I already posted today but I also wanted to ask anyone,Do you ever just want to stop the meds.? Feel like I am not 100% but I am 30% this may be the best that I will ever be and just stop taken the dozens of meds. you are on? I just get so tired every day when did I take the last med and when do I take the next. I JUST HATE ALL OF THIS AND FEEL LIKE GIVING UP. I truly just don't know what to do. I just think I may have two more years of this and I just don't know if I can take that. I feel crazy and I am pretty sure others think I am. Where do I go what do I do it feels so lonely here in this world of lyme disease even though I know I am not alone.

I know how you feel, and it's awful. Sometimes I do just want to stop. Sometimes I do, just for the day, but usually wish I hadn't.

A few years back, after roughly 7 years of doctor after doctor, treatment after treatment, sacrifice after sacrifice, I just decided to STOP...I went off all medicine (except for my thyroid) and stopped trying to figure out what was wrong with me (diagnosed with everything under the sun - even Lyme, although the diagnosis was withdrawn at one point so I stopped thinking I had it) and I had a decent couple of years. I exercised a lot, ate healthy, but let myself binge, went out a lot and just paid the price for it...I basically had school (no work at the time) and social outings every once in a while, I'd go all out...and then the rest of my life was just spent recovering from doing more than I could in an unhealthy body. I was managing, I'd say, though I was stressed beyond my limit and my relationships were seriously suffering because of it (I was so negative, cranky, etc...)

...Then last year it all ended. Too much stress. Too much work. Too much exposure to toxins. I got so sick I had to apply for disability, and I'm still in that boat.

My point is that while it's tempting to just QUIT being sick, and just try to live your life despite how you feel...and it is POSSIBLE...in the long run, it's not worth it.

Of course it's up to you if you need to take a break. I think sometimes the stress of the Lyme lifestyle gets way too overwhelming, and it totally stands in the way of any progress you might be making. I'm sure you know by now there are plenty of both ups and downs, and I hope you get an "up" very soon. Until then just know that you're not alone.

Bella,

I really think that the bacteria itself produces little whispers in your ear along the lines of "stop your meds", "don't exercise", "eat that sugar"! Reach deep down into yourself and try to remember all that you have to get better for and what you will do when you are well. Don't let yourself wallow in this desperate feeling. Set up a reward for when you take your meds and some kind of prize for the next goal in getting better.


LymeAngel,

Have you told your doctor that you are skipping your meds once a week? It can really give the bacteria an opportunity to gather strength.

Hi Belamia!
Welcome to the forum!!! I am sooo sorry to hear what you are dealing with right now! I think most of us can relate! The good news is that you have come to a place where others can truly understand what you are dealing with! And it seems that we love to talk!! LOL! Our members truly rock!!

You are welcome to post more than once a day - as a matter of fact, we would like for you to post or start a new thread more than once a day, especially if you have concerns!! If you haven't already, it would be beneficial for you to start with reading through the thread at the top of the forum titled,"New to Lyme?...Start here!!", as it is packed full of relevant information, symptom lists and informative links that have been put together by our members here! Most of those who have read through it have said that it was very helpful!! We also have a pretty good search function on this forum to help you narrow down your search for information from past posts. We must be our own health advocates now and the best thing to arm yourself with is knowledge!

I think most if not all of us here can really relate to your feelings - but as others have already said, it's really not safe to stop your meds. The bacteria will get the upper hand again, and none of us wants to go backwards!!! How long have you been in treatment? Have you seen any progress yet? Even small improvements count!! Also, how long do you believe you have been infected?

bella i wanted to clarify that i wasnt suggesting u quit your meds....i was just throwin in what was happening to me....all i can speak of is what i have experienced...and now that i go back and read my posts....i can see where i needed to come back and clarify...so i do apologize....im not very smart these days.....i just need some potting soil to make my "houseplant" mind feel "at home"...lol

hey trav...i know yaw r not pickin on me...lol....but im in a mess.....my lymphs were so bad when i woke up this morning i could no longer fit into my pajama pants...which stretch from here to yonder.....i have gained 11 pds in two wks...yes im taking my meds like im suppose to , even went back to original med plan she put me on that i felt was way to aggresive for me so soon.....yesterday and today i have taken 400 mg of doxy and two omnicef and im more swollen than even...i have adema from my groin all the way to my knees...and adema from my armpits to my knees and my breats are a whole size bigger.....everytime i take the antibiotics i swell bigger and bigger....i called my LLMD first thing this morning as soon as i woke up...i look like an oompa loompa.....and i called my PCP again and neither have called me back....took two detox baths and got on the lawnmower again for "rebound" therapy....and while ago i couldnt even put my bra on....i understand that takeing my meds is so important...but the toxins r not leaving my body....i seriously dont know what to do.....if this is just a herx...i know i will have to keep going....but there is a naggin feeling in me that my lymphs are not working at all.....im a little nervous....and im so swollen that my husband just stares at me and says "darn".....lol...."is this normal"?...i dont know..i feel like im going to pop