Social Anxiety

Will I ever feel normal around people again? At this point I can't tell if it's still the Lyme making me awkward... or if I'm just getting inside my own head. I feel like people are always judging me and looking for flaws. It's hard to convince myself that I look fine outwardly... because I feel weird on the inside.

I was never like this before Lyme. I used to be able to blend in with any crowd and be comfortable with everyone. Didn't really care what people thought. Loved parties. Loved traveling. Now I hate even going to the store... and casual chit chat scares the crap out of me. When I was at my worst I was having problems finding words and would space out during convos... so I guess I'm better than I was. But my confidence has been killed. Maybe it's all in my head at this point. Who knows. Lyme makes you crazy.

I too have this to some degree. I don't look forward to going out. Like tonight...I have our neighborhood Christmas Party. I'm not looking forward to going, but I am pretty sure that once I'm there, I'll be fine and have a good time.

My husband loves going to concerts. Two years ago when my symptoms first started, I went to a concert with him and the noise...oh, it was terrible. To top it off, this guy right behind me was whistling very very loud and it was so piercing to my ears. I asked him to stop and he kept on. I finally just had to leave because I was having an anxiety attack (my first ever I think). Oh, it was horrible.

I think a good portion of us will have to "reaccumulate" the umph to go out and socialize again - even those who are social butterflies! I think when we were so misunderstood while having a lot of symptoms, it does kill our inner confidence! We get so critical of ourselves sometimes!

I really am a loner - would rather not go out and socialize at all thank you very much!!LOL!!! Unless I can count socializing with my dogs and goats!!! Giggle!! I have to force myself out to socialize just a bit, as we have family members who are aging and have even more difficulties getting out to see anyone than I now have.

Now is a great time to start though!! Don't expect things to go real smooth all of the time, but plan carefully and don't stay longer than your up to it. Lots of short little visits or get togethers can really lift a person's spirits!

Achieivinggrace's hubby sets a great example!! Take someone with you that understands your need to go early! That takes the stress out of excusing yourself from the party early!

well this post , my husband is going to have to read because i couldnt never explain why i didnt want to "hangout"..but i was once the butterfly...loved to meet people...loved to get to know who they were...i loved to study behavior of others...and like dejavu was talking about...i cant take fake people anymore...and the strangest thing is i dont know how i know they r fake...its strange to me i can be around someone five minutes and i can tell myself they are not worth knowing....so im glad to know im not alone in the social disorder thing...i do feel like im a florescent pink tree with black fruit hanging from it when im in a crowd....its almost unbearable and its hard to think i look normal when i feel all tore up and full of emotion when i dont know where they are coming from....so thanks for this post...hopefully this will help my husband understand me a little more

Yes, it steals your self-confidence and you become withdrawn from people. I am somewhat introverted anyway but am still a very out-going and social type. My wife and I were fixtures at the local wine bar on Friday eveninings and galavanting to parties and the like. We run in 5K races to marathons with many hundreds of people. I am Chairman for the Board of Driectors of a local University, plus a high level position at work. I NEED to be able to interact with people, make public presentations to fairly large audiences and the like.

When I get like this (with what I now know is Lyme), I withdraw from society, sometimes dreading to go even outside the house. It's a serious struggle to get to work and, once there, I hole up in my office trying to avoid people all day till it's time to go home. Very strange. I still do the presentations but I feel as if I am not "me" if you know what I mean. I have been beginning to get that old self-confidence back in fits-and-starts. This past Tuesday, I made a very important presentation to my management and I felt like I was on my A-game again.

But, today, my wife and I went shopping and I struggled somewhat with the crowds at the mall and such. I think it's important to keep trying to stay active and out some just to not let the disease defest you...Some days I stay in and the next day I get on my own case for giving into the critters. But, the body needs rest too...for me, that alone helps me recover my self-confidence, self-esteem and such.

Plus, Im a Virgo, Aquarius-rising, Aries moon child so that in itself is a serious challenge, yet rewarding in its own way...LOL.

Isn't it a horrible feeling? and so hard to explain to people! I just couldn't force myself anymore to go to events and feel as though the room was closing in around me. I wasn't having fun and boy was I not fun to be around. I had no idea how people with social anxiety suffered before this. But with treatment I am feeling better and can now go out and actually enjoy myself. I prefer to stay home, just because I too have learned that I am apparently not a people person but at least I can go to school events and events with good friends and not be exhausted or stressed the entire time. I have said so many "odd" things that I lost alot of friends and embarassed myself too. There's no going back so I'm over it and don't worry about it anymore but how truly bizarre what this disease can do right?!

I have the worst social anxiety since getting sick! For a while I didn't even realize it was being sick that was causing it...I could never understand how I went from an outgoing social butterfly who loved the spotlight, loved acting, etc., to someone so self-conscious!

For me it's the fact that I don't like who I am right now - I'm not myself with all of these symptoms. I judge myself and I'm afraid people will judge me. I hate not being the fun one anymore, but I have to be so careful now! And it's so hard to be in the moment because I'm always so distracted by how sick I feel.

Lately I've been avoiding social contact at all costs. Pretty much all I'm up for is a cup of coffee here and there. It's definitely a matter of confidence/self-esteem for me. And no matter how much people mean well, they just can't understand. Socializing has come to mean constantly having to explain myself, or try to act normal instead of just being myself. It's become a chore.

Worst part is I miss it so much...I love being around people and I hate having lost so many friendships because I'm sick! But as much as I want it, it's just not the same right now - it's not worth it.

Hopefully, for all of us, once we start to feel a little better, our confidence will shoot back up, and socializing will be fun again instead of work, work, work!