Push through the Pain?

My girlfriend has been nothing but supportive, but recently has been telling me to push through the pain. She has had many past injuries and surgeries and thinks pushing through the pain is the best course of action. I feel like a weakling as she motors through her day and me just getting out to food shop wipes me out for most of the day. Is she right? I feel like I could be doing more damage, if it's even possible to push through. I have tried with painful results and I don't want t do that or loose her.


Suggestions?

Wow, this is a great question.

Personally, I don't know what I would have done without my husband geeing me on, letting me know he thought I was giving into the disease, and being pleased when I was able to do things.

Honestly, some of his expectations were very hard for me to deal with but there is no doubt that they kept me afloat.

And he has balanced that with understanding when I did reach my limits. He has picked me up when I've fallen, opened things for me when my hands wouldn't work, and explained to people what I was trying to say when I lost my language skills. He has easily stopped doing these things when I no longer needed that kind of help.

Being the main support person for a Lyme patient is very tricky. Each day is different and there is no way for them to understand the kind of pain you are in. Geez, the only way for them to get that is to experience it themselves and you wouldn't want that for your loved one, would you?

I think what helped my husband and me the most was for me to speak frankly about how I was feeling. No whining or drama just a good description. Like "I would love to be able to go out on the boat with your parents but I am afraid the screaming would scare them." Or "I am hurting a lot, I will try to come for a walk with you but I would like to know that it's okay to turn around and come back if I have to." Or, "Today the pain is like 10,000 fingernails going down 1,000 chalkboards has been wired directly into my spine. I'm finding it difficult to do anything."

Both my husband and the rest of my family have been very supportive of my use of painkillers so that I can do things with them. No one seems to think that there is any merit in pushing through the pain. Honestly, so often you try to push past the pain and there is just more pain on the other side! While you may not be doing yourself any particular damage physically, I think it mentally and spiritually it takes a toll.

In defense of your girlfriend's position, I will say that doing something, anything can be a great distraction. Also, doing nothing and allowing yourself to get paralyzed by the pain can be a downward spiral and lead to more pain.

So, in a nutshell; if you can do it do it, if you think you can, try, and if you can't, say so and keep your humor with you at all times!

DoDistractions can be good for pain relief

Hi Randompains,

As someone who is (I very much hope) towards the end of my battle with lyme, I would say that your girlfriend is 100% correct. I made the decision a while ago to do everything I could to get rid of my illness, and that means having to push a bit both mentally and physically at times.

On the physical side, I have made myself do some exercise every week, even when sitting upright alone was a form of exercise. Then I moved on to standing for short periods of time, and moving about more in general, then walking. At the start of this year I started jogging for the first time ever in my life, roping in a couple of unfit people from my work to help motivate me. A couple of weeks ago I jogged nearly a full 5k, and have signed up to do a 10k run in October to raise money for lyme awareness. No matter how little you can manage, it is important to push yourself just a little bit (but not every day - you must give yourself time to recover too). Exercise has proven benefitial effects on everything from depression to pain management to metabolic rate normalisation, and also helps us kill the lyme.

As for the mental side, again it is important to push yourself to keep on course. But, I would say it is equally important to give yourself time to be sad about being ill. I allow myself a regular good long cry, or a day of moping around the house every now again, then pick myself up and get going again. You have to be strong to fight this illness, but you can also ask people like your girlfriend to be strong for you when you can't for a while. You don't have to accept it all of the time. It is ok (and normal) to be angry, sad, frustrated and lonely at times. You are not alone, and you are strong enough to fight this - you just need to keep a bit of a stubborn attitude!

Good luck,

Kirsty