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Posted 10/11/2012 3:13 PM (GMT 0)
 

  I am fighting for my life, well my heart beat is strong but everything else is nt working

I can not comprehend what people say or what I read and writing, reading these blogs is diffficult

maintain my bills, etc is difficult.  I zone out like I am autistic.

I feel like I am loosing the battle, fight.  I want to make a difference somewhow, so my life was not a waste.

part of me wants to share my real name, but I wont,

 yet,

you guys make me feel like I am not alone, and that if I dont make it, that u guys understand.

It hurts so much to have my family, and old friends go away and tell me to go seek medical help and I have to be proactive

well I Have beengoing to drs for 2,3 whatever years now.  that is all I do.

I wish they understood, but they dont have the consciousness.

I want to be understood, I guess by law, mds, society

life is so amazing and wonderful when u are well.....    I have water retention so bad, lasik did not work, I look like michelan man

elastic band digs into my skin, so painful, I had that for years, only worse now...   none of m clothes fit

and I donated clothes 3 years ago when i lost weight,  I went back to se if I could buy my old clothes back, well I am bigger now anyways, but

the place was shut down.

and they were nice expensive tailored clothes too,  I hate my freaking life. 

Posted 10/11/2012 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
I am getting worse, cant drive
appt in another county, have to pay for a taxi

I use to love driving, the independence of, how it makes your life easier, u dont have to carry groceries...

I loved driving.............. I am sobbing now, I cant take this, :( like I said, i am not dying in vein...

I dont want anyone to have this, I want everyone that has this to heal.... to be understood.

GOd dam it, I was here on Earth,, and I fought so hard.................... cry
Posted 10/11/2012 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
That place in kansas called and that was nice but i have no one to go out with me for 10 days
fly out, and all.

My life on the line, I would spend the last amount of dollars I have, cause I am soo far gone.

since having lymes, the only friends I have are disabled, one has ra so bad it takes her hrs to get going every morning.

I am grateful that I knew about that place since coming here, thank u guys, Forever.

I just have to find someone to help me, someone that has the time, and is healthy and strong.

IF I had the money, I would pay someone to do it, but I have not won the lotto or have come into extra funds.
Posted 10/11/2012 8:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hope2b,
I sent you another email. Hang in there!! We are all here to help, but please don't post your real name. One of the Mods will have to remove it.

This is an open forum, meaning that anyone with a computer can read these messages, so no posting of personal information please!

We don't want you to jeopardize your privacy or well being because some nut case got your name from here. :-)
Posted 10/12/2012 12:27 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah, I wont use my name, I promis.  I felt like I was going to die, and ...

but good point about everything else, thanks

you know my lyme brain is not thinking right, and sometimes does the talking for me unfortunly, i am so far removed from the person I was.

I have to take a cab tomorrow.

I took wash cloth, dry brushing, and took a salt bath

ANgels Help me,  this is so freaking serious, I cant believe this.

miracles need to happen for me and for all of us asap.

man...

Posted 10/12/2012 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Hope2bhealthy,

Your post saddens me because it speaks the truth about lyme, It speaks what we all feel and are going through , and are afraid to say it. Yesterday my day was really difficult, and people that don't understand Lyme , don't have it do not get it. It takes everything we have to just get out of bed, my mom used to say you have to have hope and faith. I am still trying to hold on to that, and I wish that you get a ride so you can get to your doctor. When days get so bad, I am to remind myself it won't always be this way. If we keep going , keep fighting , we have to beat this. Try to get some rest, and get mad at the Lyme, it kind of helps me if I stay angry at it.

We all do need a miracle, for someone to cure Lyme.

justme....
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