So depressed! H-E-L-P

I cant stand seroquel! it brought me down bad. cymbalta seemed ok, but made my neck and shoulders more tense. also hurt my sleep some.
I kinda like ginsing & baloaba.
with me my symtom cycle is every two monthes, but my mood cycle is much longer. two years ago I spent the night in the loony bin on christmas day! (dont tell any one) and now I'm so happy and possitive I cant stand it! nothing has changed in my life either. symtoms are worse, bank is empty. I cant explain it, just gleeming for no reason.
so keep it together, your brain will sort all this stuff out and take off running again I promise!
oh and move to Florida! lol see you here.

My heart goes out to you butterfly. I have been there. Please hang in there.

I am on cymbalta and went up in dose and feel the best I have in years. I believe it to be crucial to get the depression/anxiety under control in order to be able to get well. We have to be able to think positive to send out positive vibes for our body to heal. If we are constantly under stress, our bodies know that.

Depression is a major lyme symptom and one of the hardest to get a hold of, I believe so antidepressants are not a bad thing. They can be a temporary thing that allows you to get a hold of the disease.

I would also recommend other methods of relaxation such as deep breathing and positive imagery. I know it sounds crazy and it did to me too but there were days that I would lay and concentrate on deep breathing and before I knew it I would feel a little better, and sometimes a little better is better than nothing.

Are you sure your treatment is sufficient? If your PCP is treating you, perhaps she is willing to try some additional treatment. Please remember too that lyme strips the body of magnesium. I can't say it enough that being low in magnesium can make you feel horrible.

Please keep us posted. I hope today is a better day for you.

I'm so sorry that you are feeling that way. Unfortunately, I think most of us w/ Lyme experience that. I go through bouts of serious depression and sometimes anxiety. For me, it is related to how I feel physically-the worst I feel, the less I can function and enjoy life, the more depressed and anxious I get. However, I think that it is often a direct symptoms of Lyme.

I took Clonazepam before bed for a month or two (can't remember the exact time frame). I took it as a sleep said due to the severe insomnia that I was having at the time. Clonazepam is a depressant so it's going to counteract the good effects of Zoloft. I weaned myself off of the Clonazepam very slowly. I cut the .5 pill in 1/2 for a week or so and then took it every other night and then quartered it and took is every other night. I still went about 3-4 days w/ barely sleeping, but was fine after that. If possible, I would suggest you try to get off of it, as it will worsen depression.

As far as an anti-depressant, I am on 5mg Lexapro. I don't know if it helps or not. I've been on it for 16 months, since I first got sick and I'm worried about stopping it, even though that's not even a therapeutic dose, because I struggle w/ depression when I'm really ill. I did have one Dr. that put me on Zoloft initially and I had bad vertigo as a side-effect and stopped taking it. I had a couple of Drs. tell me after that that Zoloft isn't a great antidepressant-that it can have bad side-effects and be hard to handle, but I'm not sure. I've heard good things about a Lexapro & Wellbutrin Combo., but again, that would be something your Dr. would know more about.

Seroquel-I had a pyschiatrist prescribe it for sleep when i initially got ill and had insomnia, but I never took it. I was too worried about taking so many psychiatric drugs.

The med. that helped me the most at the beginning of me being ill and having major depression, anxiety,and insomnia was Lamictal. It was prescribed for me by a neurologist. The neuro. told me that it was for migraine prevention, but put in my chart that it was psychosomatic illness (nice, huh?!?). It did nothing to help w/ any of my physical symptoms, but stabilized my mental state enough to prevent a complete breakdown and got rid of the insomnia. It might be something to talk to your Dr. about. For me, it was a relatively "benign" medication in that it didn't really cause side-effects.

I hope that helps some!

Today is a better day, but not great. Everyone, thank you so much for all your responses. It really helps to know you are not alone. I know that there are alot of you out there struggling with the same type of depression and anxiety issues created by the Lyme. It is no easy road!!

springsjean:
You are right about the magnesium. I have a genetic marker they happened to find during my Lyme treatment via blood test. It is called Human Leukocyte Antigen B35 positive. It depletes my body of magnesium, so I am on a supplement for life. I take it every day. The other unfortunate thing about being HLA B35 positive is that it is more likely to cause anxiety and depression, which is being complicated by the Lyme. Not great news. My maternal aunt is a psychiatric mess, my dad is now on prozac to help with his "irritability", my mom needs to be on something but she won't, my sister is on a natural tryptophan supplement, and I always remember my grandma having depression issues (but she went through alot of tragedy that I think definitely contributed).

It took me so long to even agree to go on these meds, and I really don't want to be on them for life. I am afraid I will be, and they aren't even really working!

Mystery Illness:
I know what you are saying, and I agree with you. The only thing that really helps is the clonazepam, and that is the worst one for me!! But I am getting better bc I used to take 2.5mg of lorazepam/day and now I usually only take .5mg of clonazepam/day, occasionally 1mg for the last month or so. I really want to go off completely. It's been a major source of internal struggle bc I SO do not have an addictive personality, and I don't want to be dependent on the clonazepam. But I don't think I am ready to go off yet, not until they get me on an antidepressant that actually works.

I know I need to concentrate on healing, but the depression is making it really hard. I am 31 and my husband and I have been married a little over 2 years. We were talking about starting a family before I got sick. We were so happy up here on our Alaskan adventure and then our plans went out the window when I got sick. I am afraid I will never be able to have children now, 1. Because I may never be able to go off the benzos and psych meds, and 2. If I am not positive the Lyme has cleared I don't want to pass this disease on to our baby. I guess I just feel my life has been stolen from me and now having children may be taken from me too. I am not getting any younger either.

I will talk to my doc about switching from Zoloft to something else. It is clearly doing something, bc I get worse when I try to wean off, but it's clearly not doing enough!

Just saw the part about the benzos...sorry, I should have waited to comment until I had more time to read it all :-/

Idk what your reasoning is for wanting to stop them, but I say, if they help, keep taking them as needed at least until after treatment. It's understandable that you'd be taking something for anxiety, you're going through a lot right now! I'm really hard on myself for taking meds for pain, etc. Which is why I'm saying this, to let you know I realize it's tough, but please be easy on yourself, and do what you need to do to get theough this. :)

I really appreciate all the support. All your responses really help me feel better. Thank you so much. Today is an ok day. But still cried....sad. Since my symptoms started last June there have only been 1 or 2 days where I haven't cried. And if I am not crying I feel like crying ALL day. My husband always asks "What are you sad about?" I always say "nothing in particular, I am just sad". He has never been depressed so sometimes I think it is hard for him to understand why. But the Lyme is the real reason, and it's something I have no control over.

I feel Lyme has taken me prisoner. But in the last 3 months since starting treatment my life has gone from utterly and completely unbearable to barely tolerable. It is a huge improvement, but obviously still not an acceptable quality of life. I feel if I can just get a handle on the depression and anxiety I can get on the other side of this disease and start to really heal.

Mystery Illness-
Thank you for the info. I will talk to my doc about Lamictal or other mood stabilizer options. I know there has to be SOMETHING that will work. I am so sorry about you missing out on time with your kids. You are SO right you grieve for the time you lost and will lose in the future. When I think about the future I want to panic, so taking it one day at a time is the way to go.

Lymer-
I want to go off the benzos bc they are habit forming, can cause addiction, and make you more depressed in some cases. But the clonazepam really helps calm me down depression and anxiety-wise. I am really hard on myself too. I feel like I am weak and if I was stronger I wouldn't need the clonazepam. Then all the self-loathing thoughts start like I am worthless, weak, why would anyone want to be with me? And I tell myself I am never going to get better, I am going to die, and I get scared and hopeless. It's really hard to keep these thoughts out of my head and I want to throw in the towel.

But I promised everyone I would keep fighting!

Hi Butterfly,

A good site to visit to help get off the benzo is benzobuddies.  The site has a great section about anxiety and depression, too.  I was taking Xanax for 4 months and was able to get off it within a month but it was an incredible horrible experience.  Tapering the clonazepam can bring a whole list of withdrwal symptoms.  Doctors are not aware what these drugs can do to us.  Yes, they are to be used only short term....like a month.  The sad thing about these drugs is that you become tolerant (need more to have the same effect) very quicky and the choice then becomes to up the dose or to slowly come off them.  You are dealing with 2 whammies at the moment.   Hang in there.  There will be an end to all this madness.

Patty  xo 

I had anxiety really bad before starting treatment my family

wanted my to stay on anti-depressants.  I would go on them for

awhile then I would go off of them.  Since starting treatment abx

(June 2011) My anxiety has gotten much better, still have some but

not nearly as bad.. ON a scale from 1-10 I was a 50 no joke.  Hang

in their hopefully your treatment will kick in.  I used to call my mom

and friends all hours of the night.  Now when I talk to them they

know how my anxiety is doing by the tone of my voice.  So it will get

better hang on..

Butterfly,

I am sorry to hear of your deep depression. I know that my daughter struggled with depression as well.

Dr. Jernigan has written an article on low body temperature and fibromyalgia. Low body temperature does not only become an issue in fibro, but it is an issue in many other diseases as well, including Lyme. Low body temperature can itself be at least a contributing cause of depression. Low body temperature causes low hormonal levels- including happy hormones that prevent depression. I would make it a point to stay as warm as possible. Please read this article. It may help.

http://www.hansacenter.com/pdfs/Fibromyalgia_and_Low_Body_Temperature01-10-2010.pdf

Don

Hi Butterfly
Hope you're doing a little better since your post. I really think you should have your thyroid checked. Not just TSH but reverse T3 and reverse T4. Many with Lyme have low T3 and I am one. Without taking my T3 I would be bee down. I take a bio identical version that is made at a compounding pharmacy. Also L theanine is an amino acid that has amazing effects to relax and help sleep and depression. Also take L glutamine. This helps you on many levels including stress reduction but also in building healthy GABA neurotransmitters. Vitamin C can help with this as well especially if you can't eat fruit and are under stress. Hope this helps.

Heathersdad:

What is considered a low body temp?

Hi Butterfly, Yes the Free T3 and T4 is the correct test - I haven't been thinking thyroid for awhile but I think my doctor checks both anyways. You might still have a low thyroid even with normal ranges if you have the symptoms. You might want to look into adding Himilayan salt and seaweed for the iodine - taking iodine I think can be risky but you could ask your ND about that - you can take it also by rubbing it under your big toe. And L-Tyrosine helps your thyroid as well - are you normally running a low body temp even in the summer? I use powdered L-Glutamine - 2 tbsp/day this is so good if you have gut issues too and L-Theanine capsules - from vitacost.

Good luck!