I'm having an off-day...

I'm having an off-day - sorry to whine about it...

I'm soooo tired, had to leave work at noon to go home. Like there's a black hole somewhere in my body, absorbing all energy. I was walking down the stairs at work, suddenly didn't know where I was for a short moment. I haven't been finding my words these last days, can't talk properly.

It's unusual, but I look half dead too    puffy red eyes, pale dry skin, sweating like crazy, although it's almost freezing outside.

I did detox, but I haven't been sleeping well. I had a rather good day yesterday, there was pain, but I felt somewhat happy (my friend did Reiki on me). Now it's all gone.

Quite angry too, about having to pay all of this, although there's 13% of my salary going to government to pay for social security + I pay an expensive health insurance - but then government doesn't recognize this disease, so I can't rely on that social security, nor on the insurance... a real joke...

Home alone, so I'm writing it down... sorry for the bad vibes...

 

This illness is a cruel and unpredictable thief, robbing its victims of happiness and hope, of months and years of a normal life. I say it's cruel because it's also a teaser: you might have a good day or week or even longer and then, just when you think maybe you've turned a corner, it throws you back into the pit. I've read so many postings from people who suffer so badly that I feel guilty because the pain caused by my particular symptoms seems far less in comparison. All we can do is to find the best care we can, and keep on going. A great man once said, "Pray, hope, and don't worry." I know that for me, that's the best I can do.

Keep going, MarieLS, and whine as much as you want. You are definitely not alone.