Frustrated w/ feeling dumb

I hear u,

I can identify, I can not even write well

and speak effectively how I use too

Today I was at little resturant sitting out , getting some sun
and one waiter came by to ask if I was being helped


I was looking at the menu and I tried so hard, to fumble that someone came out
already, ( Well obv. since i Had the menu,)

I could not verbalize properly at all, I just shrugged it off, cause this happens alot to me and part of me just wanted to die, like enough already... of this.

I should have brought my whiteboard( but I did not think I would speak sooooo poorly, and it was so difficult to order food, lke I had to write it down first and then tell the waitress

and it was just some grub to give me some energy so I could go grocery shopping

but my plan did not work, felt ill and wound up turning around and going home....)


sometimes i can talk like a typical person and sometimes I cant

I often forget the correct past tense particle, what past tense word to use
was, were, etc, I use to 'teach' a little in childcare programs years ago

and now...

I never know, when i open my mouth... I stopped calling friends to talk cause i often cant anymore

obv. I can txt but they are all not into that,


I use to be really smart too, it is a travesty on all levels....

( I feel like I did all of that hard work for nothing)

I wanted to go back to school

I cant even read and understand little news blurs on the net
often....

they say it will get better

but not for me, it has been months,

maybe for u, dont listen to me I am not in the best

mood right now, and probally should just hit delete...

LOL Marie...you are too funny. I love the oh why don't you just shut up... Ah hahaha. And ya know what anyway....Being smart is totally overrated..

Don't you know that proverb or saying if you could wish for one thing, what would you wish for...some wish for wealth and some wish for beauty but as we all know, beauty fades and wealth does not mean happiness. A wise person will wish for intelligence but then i got to thinking even intelligence and wisdom fades with age but you know what doesn't? Being whole-heartedly good and kind. Kindness does not fade with age. My grandfather in law whom my husband was named after had alzheimers. Even down to the very end he always smiled at everyone even though he didn't remember who they were.

I'm happy to be dumb and kind. There are a lot worse things out there to be. And I've started being kind much more lately now that I realize how important it is.

Yes, I can relate to both of you. I had one whole day , where nothing I said made any sense, I put things in strange places, I still loose words. At times I start at the end of the sentence, and I forget very easy.

I don't think we are getting dumber , I think the Lyme is sucking the smart out of us. lol

I really think we are in so much pain, and stress, also the ammonia gets in our heads, and takes away our thinking, sometimes I repeat everything, I am not sure , but my kids remind me I just said it. Or I wash my hands over and over.

I have a bottle of doxy, just in case, but I don't feel they helped me much, I don't know, I think they made me feel kind of worse, now maybe that was a good thing, maybe they were working, I don't know, I am confused about it.

I am starting to think with Lyme we have to hit it will all angels, work on the body first, get us a little stronger, we do that by eating right, or as best we can, then we go after the little suckers, literally, kill them, and maybe the third step would be to detox the body all the way, as best we can.

From what I have been reading people that got (well), they used a lot of different methods, but they changed it up a lot, I think the Lyme is smart, if it knows we are treating it , it will hide.

This is just my view on it, from people that are say 80 percent better, they have done both antibotics, and herbs, also so many of them have used the sauna's , I was looking into getting a really cheap one, since losing my job , money is tight, but I don't have to tell you gals, that, I am sure you know exactly what I am talking about.

I was thinking to carry a index card, it would say I have Lyme disease bare with me, I will find the words , or something like that , because I have the same issue, almost to the point I don't want to go out in the real world, and that makes me sad.

justme