stressing

  when u are ill

 one is suppose to avoid as much stress as possible

  I am so stressed

  I have potential buyer but wants it so low, it makes me get upset

and yet, I need to move

( this is kind of long, u don't have to read it,  just expressing,  ugh)

  but I rather get more repairs and raise the price a bit more

   so I don't feel nauses over basically giving it away for free

  I workd so hard for those dollars...

   all my money is going into suriving,  I really hate this disease, sorry, but

   I feel like I am spinning my wheels  and this disease, has truly took everything away

   

  

   I feel like I am in this vegetable state haze all the time

   going out for a little bit, errads and all, but the window of time for it is so short

   I have to rest afterwards

I feel like I am a hundred plus years old that never took care of  myself, 

    I was at bank waiting in sitting area, and was so ill, had an appt, for this reason

    but she was behind, that is okay, so I sat there, to look normal, grab a magazine

  and pretended to be reading it,  but I couldn't...

     this disease has me bad, in the brain

 

     no one deserves this

   All I can do is pray, as I do every day, to get me through it

and that the people really don't want this house,  so I can hold out for a little bit more $

   I mean, all the $ is going to is for treatment and for me to surive

     after that, I will be literally starting out at scratch,  as if I were 18 again, with nothing to my name

    totally starting over

    it is a gamble...    I so hope I will get well this year

   cog, memory, feeling not in my body, affects my brain, that is the worst part of it......

     

    prayers to everyone to get well,  this disease is the worst, 

   angels help me get well enough, to give back to other lyme patients,  and get on with my life

   let my brain clear up

most of my friends have moved away , poor job economy here

and I have a few people that help with packing

I have hired a few people for odd jobs,

no family, one but she does not care about me and my illness,

she thinks take an antibiotic pill and u are fine, and the rest in my head

she lives 5 min away but I have to rise above,

and turn to angels, and sites like this to vent, and it helps me get through

your kind words mean a lot thanks.


I have stuff in another storage unit in another town by my llmd, I had people help me there
but that my life is so ridelous, and stuff here and there, lyme man....

I am writing a book when I get well....

insomnia, wanted to take a nap.... but chillin on cough with some movie on in background....

have to rest rest of day, I feel it... lyme kicking in

My arms are giving you a huge hug right now.

Patty

It would be nice ot have one friend that has lyme that lives near me

that kind of support, would be great right now....


I appreciate u all here, it helps soo much