Margaret goes to see a funny movie with a friend.
Meanwhile, thumb throbs. She thinks, "After the movie and a meal at the Mexican Restaurant, I might swing by the ER (throb, throb)."
"But if I see a doctor, he'll give me abx!" "C. diff . . . Arghhhh! Abx . . . Arghhhh! The two do not mix!"
"Maybe I'll try Tea Tree Oil instead. Hmmm . . . Can you put Tea Tree oil on top of Oregano Oil? Throb, throb . . . Arghhh!"
After her friend drops her off, Margaret casually drives the familiar route to the ER. Nurse looks at thumb and says, "Triage . . . ."
Margaret thinks, (bad word). The ER doc looks at thumb, and then looks at thumb again. He says, "Well, if you were young and healthy, I'd just poke a hole in it (M thinks, "Thanks a lot!"), but since you have a complicated medical history ( yadda yadda yadda), I'm going to call the surgeon.
Margaret sticks out her thumb, and says, "Go for it." She thinks, "It's all old hat. Been there done that."
Surgeon proceeds to remove thumbnail and create numerous incisions. Margaret thinks, "Cute surgeon. Too bad he's married." Surgeon says, "Do you want to see your thumbnail?" while holding up ugly yellow thing. "Some people like them as souvenirs."
The upshot of it is, more abx. Arggggghhhhh!
Throb, throb, throb. Stay tuned for Part III, in which patient on other side of curtain says, "There's blood up my butt?" (Literally), and disgruntled ex-boyfriend gives Margaret a ride home. Then Margaret proceeds to get high on Vicodin!!
Thumb: Throb, throb, throb, regardless!! 