Posted 7/21/2013 11:38 PM (GMT 0)
Last year I was diagnosed with Lyme, jumped right in with the antibiotics and the diet and felt too overwhelmed to think or try to understand what was happening. It didn't go well, I herxed so badly that I really couldn't handle it. I had just started a new job; I had to think. Neurological symptoms were horrible and soon I felt as if I was being eaten alive as my skin burned and stung everywhere. I had always leaned towards natural methods and felt totally out of control. I also felt myself go to a very dark place emotionally, I just didn't want to live.
In my heart I felt I had to step back and stop. So I stopped treatment within the first 3 weeks, for a while I tried various things and had some successes. I bought the sauna and found it very helpful. At one point I felt good enough to pretty much think I was good to go and one of the lucky ones. HA! but I did feel good for a while. Then I hurt my knee, needed surgery and took a year to recover. Found a lot of symptoms coming back, plus went back into the cycle of injuries. It's like I can't recover from anything and I just go from one injury to the next.
Word switching and finding words got really bad again, I also started to feel more skin stuff. So I decided to attack the Lyme again. Realized I have not taken this as seriously as I should. Looking back, the antibiotics that my LLMD put me on were too much too fast. I really didn't understand anything and it's not like me to just do what any doctor says to do.
So this time I'm working with an LLND, I'm learning more about Lyme. I'm studying as much as I can so that I truly understand what this is. I'm going to ask my LLND a lot of questions regarding my treatment. I'm not going to just do what she says. It's hard because there are days that I can't think and days where I don't want to think. I just feel that when I have a good clear headed day I need to use it to learn and study and understand. I refuse to give up on myself and this time around I will be part of my own healing process.
It's nice having a community here of people that understand.
I'm sure many have you have been through similar journeys and I do get inspired by reading many of the stories of how you fight and learn and understand.