I called yesterday
to see my pcp, but was able to see another dr as mine is only in the office
four times this month. What luck for me! I saw this new pcp, an older guy
practicing for 42 yrs. I had all my test results with me in regards to my lyme
tests, saliva, hair analysis, blood tests, etc.
I went because my
hormones and adrenals have been/are shot and thus, along with the
Bart/Babs/Lyme crap, my ability to 'temper' my emotions is basically non-existent.
I do have a llmd appt 7/30 with a dr I've not seen before, but I am assured is
a good lyme dr.
Until then, I
decided trying to get in to see a pcp and ask for a low dose, short term
anti-anxiety med, just enough to get me through until I see the llmd. I asked
for this mainly because my up/down, highly reactive emotions have been/are too
difficult for others around me, and for me, to deal with. I don't blame them or
myself! But, although I have been working my tail off understanding my
'triggers', I am still unable to keep things under 100 % control.
My triggers are
wide and varied, but I’ve determined they stem mainly from temperature issues,
(extreme cold/heat) and also outside stimuli (light/noise/movement/electronic
vibrations), as well as where I am inside my body with the ‘stage’ of the
illness. Oh, and the BIGGEST is relational (people don’t believe me, or
understand me) and medical staff related issues (misdx, don’t believe me, talk
down to me, etc. and offer NO HELP) that bring unnecessary, overwhelming stress.
All of this combined makes for a very volatile inner state of being, which
results in my going crazy with frustration, which LOOKS/FEELS to those around
me like I’m angry, but I’m not. I’m just going crazy with confusion and pain.
And then I get angry because no one understands what’s going on with me, inside
and out, and then it’s a big old snowball of a mess.
Now I understand so
much more, but because I’m unable to just ‘control myself,’ as others are
always telling me, I decided to get on anti-anxiety meds until I can get in to
see the lllmd. I tried to explain that not being on any meds, and even if I
were being treating, my controlling the physiological aspects of my body,
affected by illness and being very ill, would be like me telling someone with
high blood pressure that even without meds they should/can just regulate their
blood pressure just by thinking it is regulated, and even though they are
bombarded by people and situations that constantly tax their patience, well
come on, just keep it all under control. Right.
This dr was
awesome! He heard me! He read through all my health docs I took along, asked
all the right questions, and said I def have Lyme, and why hasn’t anyone helped
me yet!!?? I was floored. I explained my upcoming appt with an LLMD, and he
said yes, you def should get on an anti-anxiety med, plus he insisted on
starting me on a low dose of doxy ‘until I can see the LLMD.' He prescribed me 21 days of 100 mg doxy for twice a day. He said that should heal the Lyme. I stated
I believe I read 600 mg of doxy is appropriate, he stated starting low dose of
only 100 mg twice daily will do less harm on my gut but at least get me started
for the heavy guns.’ He then said, the llmd will determine what 'stage of l/co' I'm at, and either stages 1st, 2nd, or 3rd with intravenous meds, they will take care of me. I was floored, blessed and amazed this old guy got it!
So, if you are
still working at getting help, please don’t give up. I’ve been sick for 14+ yrs
all this time knowing something inside of me wasn’t right, that I was very ill.
Even when all the symptoms started in ’08 and went crazy, yet never getting a
confirmed L/co yet all kinds of other false diagnoses, I kept trying. I’m still
not even getting treated yet, really, but at least it’s a start. So, don’t give
up. It’s tough. It hurts. Both physically and emotionally/mentally, but if you
don’t give up you have a better chance at getting the help you so need. I hope
we can all find those people who can help us and are able and willing to do so.
Post Edited (In_A_Cocoon_Now) : 7/11/2014 11:58:03 AM (GMT-6)