Zero support, totally alone

Sayyadina, I didn't mean to hijack your post - I want to address Paper Butterfly one more time - wrote a long thing and now can't find it!

Please email me anytime you are feeling down or lonely - I have enabled my email on the members tab.

You should go for it - if your grades are that good under duress, you are going to be amazing. maybe give yourself a year, but after that, push it - you will save other someday!!!!!!!!!!

Sayyadina, really sorry about what you're going through. Just want to let you know you're not alone, friend. We're here for you! Have you thought about talking to a counselor? I can give you the number of a kind (no charge) counselor if you'd like, just write back. Sending you a hug and a prayer. HappySeeker

Paper Butterfly,

I know you are right. I want to pull him off and into the real world, but we tried that in the winter and he showed up in our room 12:45 at night screaming, yelling, raging I hate you - you are the worst parents in the world, I want my games back, obscenities, etc.

After a few nights of this I finally told my husband just give it back, can't take anymore and need sleep. He had a laptop to use, just no acess to his hard drive with the gaming.

Now, I just leave him on it in the dining room. I figured for the summer, I can bring him good food and he's not rummaging for carbs and sugar, and I can give him his meds - although with him sleeping all day and up all night, that is getting to be challenging.

I thought that once his intellect came back, he would tire of the zombies in search of something more stimulating and challenging and that is when I would know he really is feeling well. He looks like he has Parkinson's right now, the movement is so bad, so he does not go out - I think for that reason.

People on sites tell me it's 6 mos. to resolve. Thought he could repeat 9th grade with in home instruction (really poor service so I don't want him learning 10th grade work that way). He would have time to repeat things, but rest and heal. Then maybe by Dec. break, go back to school in Jan. and repeat his schedule from last spring with the same teachers and actually do the homework and study for tests and we could remove the gaming then at the "advice of the teachers and administrators" so he could focus on the work and rest and healing. He may have more logic and acceptance then. I don't know.

Then again, I'm not sure his focus, intelligence, concentration, etc. will ever come back.

He still has not done the 4 page thesis to move on to 10th grade. This from a teen with nothing less than 95-100, just two years ago.

I hope he loves life again and becomes an advocate to help others. I fear he will just wrap himself in resentment and lead a miserable life. I thought if he got well enough that could even be his Eagle project, a spokesperson to spread the information about lyme to help prevent others from all of this.

It's hard to know what to do. Give him space and let him heal - or pull him out into the real world - last night he would not go to my daughter's show and he loves theater, acting and stage crew :( .

Guess he needs more time.

Wish he had friends like you and Sayyadina to pull him through...

Lymebrain Mom-
You asked what my dad did for me...he was just there. He treated me no differently than he did my 4 brothers and sisters. I was expected to be part of our family and treat others as I would like to be treated. When I "wasn't fit to be around others" as he put it, he gave me my space, quietly and without over emphasizing what he did or he made me take my space. When I had bad nights, he would sit and watch movies with me over and over. When I was in the hospital he snuck in Taco Bell which as nasty as it is, is still my comfort food BUT he still expected me to do my school work. I even taught myself Latin and geometry since neither my homebound or hospital teachers understood it. He also believed me when I said I hurt and never doubted I would get better (or at least he didn't show it). I don't really know how he figured out how to do all of this with an anxsty, angry, sick 15 year old but he did.

I hope he finds some peace so he truly can heal. I remember the times I had as being pretty dark and scary at that age. I agree with Sayyadina-he needs something to pull him out of this shell he's created. If he likes gaming, is there any type of convention or gathering he could go to? Maybe he would interested in getting into the programming side of it or the artistic side?

Sayydina, I'm in grad school now. You can do it! I take 1 or 2 classes at a time and let my professors know in advance that I have some health issues going on. I prioritize the work load for each class based upon the percentage of the grade each project or paper is worth. That way if I can't get them all in I at least have the most important done. The online option is wonderful! It's so flexible that I can have my bad days and lymie insomnia nights and still get my stuff done. It takes a leap of faith to start but start small. Just one class..you'll be hooked and it gives you a way to meet more people who are interested in the wonderful nerdy biology stuff you have in the great big brain of yours. 3.97 in undergrad..WOW!

Sayyadina, this is how my son was Sat. night. I got home from walking the dog and he was in a wicked foul mood - I didn't know what everyone did before I got home. This morning he seems better. He should be going to bed soon, so maybe he is tired.

He sleeps days and is up all night so I have a hard time controlling his food and keep him from eating sugar - most things are no longer in the house and I keep encouraging him to pick the healthy stuff.

Have you tried running, WII dance, or just dance to music on your computer (you tube), or some sort of exercise until you are so exhausted you feel like you will just drop (and you just may, be sure you are near the couch!)

"They" say exercise and body heat kill the buggers - and for me it gets rid of anger. I am not at all athletic, but physical exhaustion can help with stress and anger, I know, I have lots of that.

I have not had lyme, but I now have written a list that I take to doctors of everything I have had in life since I can't remember the dates and things so well and they don't fit on the lines on those sheets they make you fill out at a doctor's office. I understand pain and depression all too well.

Just try the exercise thing today and maybe try the music thing for 3 months - you can get those on you tube also - look at spacie gracie's post...

Thinking of you today and sending a hug...

PS, how were you healed the first time? Can you do that again?

Post Edited (Lovemychildren Mom) : 8/11/2014 7:37:53 AM (GMT-6)