I've got a date on Wednesday. Am I a total idiot or what?

Margaret, you really made me laugh with your post. I am a guy so let me give you a guy's perspective. If something happens to you during your date, that is a good thing because it will let him know that being in your life as a friend, mate, partner, etc. comes with some responsibility. If he is genuinely concerned for you and sticks around, then he is someone that you want in your life. If he is the type of guy that just thinks about himself and is self-centered, then he is going to be an obstacle in your life and probably not someone that you want to be with.

That said, drive to the date yourself in case you have to excuse yourself. You won't feel so much pressure than if he drove you to the meeting place. You should also pick the place so you feel comfortable and not like a fish out-of-water. Specially if it is a dinner date. You might have diet restrictions so go to a place where you know that the food is suitable for your diet.

One last thing, don't spend a lot of time getting ready for this date. Wear something simple. As a guy, I can't understand why girls spend so much time getting dressed. I know they want to look good and impress. But I think a girl looks hotter in jeans and a t-shirt than in a tight dress that doesn't let her breathe and shoes so uncomfortable that they spend all night making these funny faces when they walk.

If you wear something comfortable, you will feel better and if things don't work out, hey at least you didn't spend a small fortune on a new outfit and won't feel so bad.

Good luck on your date and don't forget to bring your backpack with all your medicines and supplements in case you get sick. maybe if you show him all the stuff you take it might be a good litmus test to see if he cares and could also make it a good conversation starter

woot woot!

Have a good time! And try to forget about the lyme for a little while. ;)

I think it's great Margaret! You deserve to have some fun...go for it! And who cares if he's not attractive. Besides, when you get to know someone, and their little quirks and expressions, etc...they often become attractive to us, right?

If you're herxing on the day of the date, you could call and just say you're not well...I mean people do get sick, right? and reschedule to let him know that you do want to meet with him.

If everything is going well, I don't think you even need to tell him on the first date. No one is obligated to give that much information. If it goes well, and you continue to date, then you could tell him that you are treating for lyme disease. Keep it simple. The gory details...lol...can come later. :)

As far as the forgetfulness goes - I'm finding people don't notice and/or don't seem to care. When I apologize for asking someone to repeat what they said two minutes ago...they don't even bat an eye.

I say, "Go for it!!!!" and have fun!

Crazy for trying to live your life!!!??, NOPE.
If this is the man meant for you, he will follow through with you, even if he does not understand your condition yet. He may at first want to get to know you better and in time, something may flourish. When you love a person, you look beyond his/her illness, and conditions, there is a longing for that person to be and feel better and you want so desperately to be part of it.
Lol...., now, about the mortal thing....honey, life is not guaranteed. The only thing we know for SURE, no mistake, is that we will die....when or how?...we do not know. How many healthy people, young kids die every day? Hit by car, shot, in an accident...etc.
Don't think about death, it will keep you from enjoying life. Working on your will is okay because it is for our love one's sake. We try as best as we can to be ready for it, but we will never be ready.
Enjoy your date, listen to Healing98, he is a guy and knows better.
Ps. If he wants to go out when you are not feeling good, just post pone the date, as simple as that. Try to enjoy the good things that life is offering you.
If he does not work for you, move on. There are a lot of good man out there looking for someone like you, waiting for you to show up in their lives.
I hope you find your prince charming... ;-)

Since we are talking about dating handsome-challenged people, I want to share something that an old man once told me while sitting on a park bench. Long story but I learned from it.

One day I was on my bicycle riding along this park. I was getting tired so I sat on this park bench where an older man was sitting. He seemed like a nice person so I smiled and said hi. We started talking and I remember that around that time I was getting married and so I had a lot on my mind. I don't remember how but we started to talk about my upcoming marriage.

I remember telling him that I was in love with my fiancee but was nervous about marriage. I was 22 years old and was not sure if I was marrying too young or the right person. So this is what he told me and something that I have never forgotten:

He said that most people spend their lives looking for the perfect person and few ever find them. Even when they find the right person, soon they find that it is not. He said that spouses are like diamonds. People want a diamond that is shiny and bright but that people don't realize that that diamond was once an ugly-looking rock that someone took their time to shape, polish it, and make it pretty in their eyes. If you marry this diamond, it is not something that you shaped so soon enough you will get tired of it.

However, if you go and find yourself an ugly rock, cut it, shape it, polish it, and make it shiny according to your taste, you will have the best diamond you have ever seen and you will treasure it forever.

I have been with my wife for 32 years now and I love her more than ever. She is the most beautiful woman in this world. I guess we are each other's diamond.

Up to this day I Sometimes wonder who that gentleman really was and why he crossed my path when I needed a word of wisdom.....

I agree with that piece of advice!! I'm no catch, believe me, but my hubby tells me he couldn't make it without me and I feel the same about him. Looks have nothing to do with the inside of the person - who they really are, how they treat those they love, or how they respond when things get tense.

A true loving respect takes time to build. I was lucky enough to have been able to marry my best friend and so I told my kids to make friends with the person first - if they are the right one for them, you can rely on that friendship to carry you when the marriage might not be enough. I'd do most anything for my best friend/hubby.

LOL Girlie!! I keep telling him that!! Honestly, I am NOT an easy person to live with - too practical for my own good most days and boy!! Do I have a mouth if you push the wrong buttons!! Giggle! And don't even get me started on the things that I'm passionate about - Lyme & other tick-borne infections, goats & hand milking them, horses, adopting dogs and cats, home schooling, and, of course, creek fishing!! Oh, and I am not a cook!!!!!!!! I'm not sure how anyone has survived my cooking!!

But thank you so much for your very kind words. I think we can see people at their lowest on here - and I have the advantage; my lowest days were years ago - long before anyone that's on here now would have seen!! So it's like I cheat. When I'm really cranky, I'm not on here - no one else needs that.

I'm amazed by the strength that can be seen here - the adversity that we can face with this chronic illness, the challenges that we face due to lack of knowledge and effective treatments and lack of effective medical care. We are a group of very strong people!!

Once in a while we need to carry each other, but that's what strong people do for each other.

Now, back to this date!! I can't wait until Thursday or whenever Margaret is up to posting about it!! Woo hoo!!!

Healing and others, I just thought of something silly. Sometimes guys who look like diamonds are actually turds underneath! :)

M

Have fun tonight :)!!

Should I be honest? The date was a disaster. In retrospect, I should have looked at all the signs leading up to it. I just feel completely humiliated. Now, I feel like crying instead of laughing. And the bad thing is, this is such a small town, so I'm going to keep seeing him at various events. The only attempt I can make at humor, is that there was more of a turd in the stone than a diamond, unless I did something wrong. I do think I messed up, but he wasn't exactly gracious either. Sorry to be a bummer on a funny thread. No more dating! Margaret

I think I was too honest or too pushy or something. But he messed up too. The date, which was actually not a date, lasted about 35 minutes. I found out last night that he had basically changed his mind about me, based on a message he left, something about how he could only have coffee with me for 45 minutes, because he had made a "date" with a plumber to come fix his water heater. I was thinking, "Oh no," but it was too late for me to cancel by the time I got the message, and he wasn't home this morning.

I decided to keep my word, and go, and after about 30 minutes, he started looking at his watch. I had to extract information out of him, and he essentially said he wasn't interested. He left me sitting there, and I hadn't even finished my tea.

See, I'm the one who initiated the date, and gave him my phone number at a luncheon, but he responded with enthusiasm, and told me about three times that he would call me. He was smiling, etc. Then, well, he didn't call. So after a week and a half, I got mad, and decided I didn't want to be the stereotypical female left hanging, so I called. I could tell immediately by his tone that something had changed. So after chatting for about a minute, I said, "When you give your word, you keep your word." So he said he had decided he was going to wait about two weeks before calling me.

The thing is, he used to flirt with me, in a nice way. He would hang behind the crowd to talk to me after everyone had left.

That's the short version. I can't believe I'm telling you all this online, but there you have it.

Have you ever heard the children's song, "Nobody loves me; everybody hates me; I think I'll just go eat worms?" That's a bit how I feel. I mean, when I was in my twenties and thirties, men liked me. Now, even an older, not so good looking guy doesn't like me. He even told me he was a fuddy duddy, which is kind of funny. So even the fuddy duddy doesn't like me.

Margaret

Don't be hard on yourself, he probably would have turned out being a loser and not worth the stress in your life.