feeling vulnerable

4 days off antibiotics. LLMD said good time to fully stop them so here I am. LLMD said I may feel bad for first week as things detox, and to call if after 2 weeks I feel symptoms, because that may mean getting back on.

I just feel vulnerable. Like- nervous and anxious- not the same as the full lyme panic and anxiety- but just easily overwhelmed, want to just stay home.
A lot of it I think is mental. I guess. Lyme is such a trauma for me that I don't even know how to be mentally healthy.
Physically I feel okay except I still have tinnitus.

But I just feel a little jumpy, vulnerable, scared and still don't really want to go out much.
When I was on the antibiotics by the end I was feeling much more confident and able to go out and do things more- just sick from the abx at times.
Now I just feel so nervous about the possibility of things coming back that I just feel kind of nervey and scared- like some fear is just around me, in me.

Just not sure how to feel but don't feel mentally strong at all.

You are feeling how I anticipate feeling once I'm told I can go off antibiotics.

I think it's the uncertainty as to whether or not we are truly "done" with Lyme. The battle is long and hard. What person in their right mind would ever want to repeat that?

It seems to come back to the "one day at a time" thing but, that's really, really hard sometimes.

Is there anything you can do to distract yourself? I've found that the only thing that completely occupies my mind is reading....and it has to be a fully-engaging book, not a magazine, etc. Obviously, we can't do that when we're driving or working lol

I've been maintaining a symptoms journal for my Lyme journey....and I anticipate making entries for a loonnng time after stopping treatment.

Um...how about popping 1/2 or a 1/4 tab of the valium - just to take the edge off?

Hope you get relief some way, some how.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Best thing for you to do is distract yourself. Find things that you enjoy doing, especially if they are things that you have missed doing since you've been in treatment. Remember what it was like not having these infections and go for it.

Living in fear is not really living at all - we have to 'get back out there' or this infection has beat us. Keep working on this and assume that it is from the fear of it coming back - until you have some very real and sustained symptoms return. If that happens, then do as your doc suggested and call them to get back into treatment.

You don't want to just stay in treatment because you are nervous though - so be careful and do your best to get your life back!

thanks everyone. yeah I sometimes take 1/2 valium but I want ot try to asses my actual feelings. such a thing this is, so much discomfort. Still feeling pretty jumpy and unsettled.
Re the bart yes I was tested and treated for bart. test came back negative both times but was treated for it just in case.

yeah, I have to try to distract myself for a while. I just hope so much I can be done with this. And feeling so nervous and scared is certainly not comforting!