Posted 11/25/2014 6:32 PM (GMT 0)
I took Valium and Xanax early in my treatment before I was diagnosed with Lyme. Valium will last a LOT longer in the blood and its withdrawal symptoms are far more severe than other benzos.
I think that you are correct in that what you are feeling is Valium withdrawal symptoms. Like you, I only took one pill when I was feeling anxiety. After the effects of Valium wore off, I felt this anxiety and panic that felt worse than the original anxiety that I had. It then slowly wore off in the next few days until the Valium was eliminated from my body. When you take Valium every day, you don't go through this because its blood concentration stays level. It is when you try to wean off of it that you go through hell.
I found Xanax to work better than Valium and because it doesn't last as long in your system, you don't go through the same withdrawal symptoms. Mind you, you still feel something as you withdrawal but not the same as Valium.
As far as being addicted, I am sure that you are not. If you were, you would be taking it a few times a day and would find any excuse to take another pill. It doesn't sound like you are there.
By the way, I learned to control my anxiety by finding its trigger points. Knowing what causes anxiety actually eliminates most of it. For example, I get anxiety whenever I try a new medicine. Knowing this, I can anticipate the anxiety so when it happens, I can ignore it knowing that it is not harmful.
I also get anxiety when I feel a new symptom that I don't know what is causing it. I then try to identify its source and cause. Once I do, I put it in my mind that it is not harmful and try to ignore it. After an hour or so the anxiety wears off and I feel better.
For me, anxiety is a chemical reaction that happens inside my body. My body releases this chemical into my blood when I feel fear, get scared, take a new drug, or consume gluten and cause the anxiety.
Like I said earlier; finding anxiety's trigger points can help you tremendously in controlling anxiety.
I imagine that you took the valium because you anticipated that you were going to be nervous about your trip. That's fair.
A better way to deal with it is to think of Valium as a safety net. Something that you can use to catch you if you fall. So instead of taking it because you anticipated fear from the trip, you can go ahead with the trip without valium and deal with as much anxiety as you can without the valium. Knowing that Valium is in your purse ready to come to the rescue is comforting in itself and oftentimes you find out that you can put yourself at risk and not need the valium. Just knowing that it is there to help is enough to give you the courage to deal with the situation without it.
That is how I managed to wean off of the benzos. It was hard but eventually I used less and less until I learned to deal with life without it. I still carry it in my backpack along with all of the other medicines "just in case", but it has been over a year and I have not had to need it.
I was put to the test a few months back when I got into a horrific car accident on the freeway at high speed and my car was made into a wreck by a SUV. When I got out of the wreck my whole body was shaky and I could not even dial 911 on my phone from how badly my hands were shaking. I couldn't even speak, I think I was in shock. Lyme and anxiety really hit me hard then. I remember looking for my bag to take a pill but I pushed my fear limits and pushed it and pushed it. After 20 minutes or so I calmed myself down to where I didn't have to use it. I was so dam proud of myself!!