So I have decided I am going to work on my mind's response to it. I am working on the concept of non identification. To see the part of me that is the observer and is not affected by life's troubles.
So instead of going into each symptom with increasing worry, I could respond by just seeing it, and seeing the part of me that is still separate enough from it. I can still smile and love people and enjoy life, even if the symptoms blare on.
This is something I have been wanting to do for a while- to work on my mind's response to things. I generally have gone into fear mode a lot and worry about
things and get wrapped up in them. Instead I just want to see the things, see the symptoms, and just say- yeah, so this bacterial infection isn't fully treated.
Yes my ear problems and anxiety and fatigue are the bacterial infection. But I just will treat it longer and eventually it will go away. In the meantime I still want to identify with the things in my life that are peaceful- the part of myself that is fine. I want to look at beautiful things and just let the bad stuff arise and go away as things do. So that is my intention with this new stage of things.
I think I really just didn't treat long enough. I need to treat 2 or 3 months past every symptom, but I only treated abot 1 month past about
85 or 90%. I am not sure why my dr did that, I know he knows about
treating past the symptoms.
I think he and I weren't really sure that some of my symptoms were syptoms because they were subtle-- mostly the tinnitus 9 which could be lots of things) and the clogging ears ( which are bad again). Now it is clear to me that the clogged ears still show the infection. So now I know- and I see my dr soon so I will discuss with him about
treating 2 or 3 months past any symptom. But I am determined to have a good response to this mentally! I want to still enjoy my life and my loved ones even while my ears are clogged and I have some anxiety and I know I still have lyme and I am on antibiotics. I don't want to let it lead me to despair- I want to say screw this stuff- yes I have it and yes it is annoying but the good stuff in my life is more prominent and I will notice that more.
Post Edited (Katebirch) : 11/26/2014 6:05:29 PM (GMT-7)