Waking with doom and gloom...anyone?

I don't know what happens while I sleep...I'm not having nightmares...but for some reason when i wake in the morning...instantly doom and gloom feelings...it's like my brain has been storing up a bunch of bad thoughts...and it hits me once i wake up.
I almost don't want to get out of bed...my brain is thinking things like I have ALS...or MS....
I lay there...thinking about these things...then I get up...and I realize that I'm not any worse than yesterday...I'm not paralyzed...etc.
and my mind clears of the doom and gloom.
Is this part of the disease? Or is this just the result of being unwell for so long....
Do any of you have these feelings when you first wake up?

I know that while I was sick the first time around, I had those daily as well. It's hard to not have them when you wake up just a bit more tired than when you went to bed the night before. I would sit on the edge of my bed and cry every morning. Then tell myself that I can sit there and just give up and go back into more misery or I can get up and do something about it. Of course, I chose the latter, but it wasn't as easy of a choices as it should have been.

I can tell you that now that I am no longer herxing, my days are much brighter (I really need to post updates to the Chronic Tonic thread, as I've made some good improvements - I've been a bit busy though).

I don't struggle each day just to function, and have some really wonderful times with family members again.

We need to remember that the psychological symptoms of Lyme make quite a list though:

Abrupt/Unpredictable mood swings

Anxiety or fear for no obvious reason

Appetite increase/decrease

Decreased self-esteem

Depression or depressed mood

Feeling helpless and/or hopeless

Feeling worthless

Frequent crying for no reason

Helpless/Hopeless feelings

Inability to enjoy previously enjoyed activities

Irritability; over-reaction

New phobias/irrational fears

Panic attacks

Personality changes (labile, irritable, anxious, confused, forgetful)

Phobias (irrational fears)

Rage attacks; anger outbursts for little or no reason

Suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts

So be sure to do what you need to do to help yourself handle these things the best you can while you are in treatment. These symptoms should all resolve as you go through treatments. I know that they did for me, not once, but twice.

I have this, It comes and goes. Since getting back on abx and knowing I still have the lyme I just feel this despair- like my life is not good anymore. My nerve tingling came back when I started the abx and life is just so hard with lyme-I just feel so depressed and bad and sad much of the time. thinking- Ihate living this way, lots of doom and gloom.
sometimes I can transfor it and say to myself kind of a prayer- to the universe, please healy me fully from this, I am open to being fully healed. And then I can relax ino it. but it is fleeting and the despair is more often.
Lyme disease is f-ing depressing.

It is also so depressing because it is not like one of those illnesses where one didn't take care of oneself and got sick- it is like perfectly healthy people with good lives who just get struck down with it. Not that anyone ever deserves to be sick at all. But something about being totally healthy and then bam having all these medicines having awful side effects, and knowing chances of getting better are a maybe- and all this from one darn insect bite is just so so depressing. Like it makes me lose my faith in the goodness of the world.

Post Edited (Katebirch) : 11/28/2014 2:44:48 PM (GMT-7)

Thanks, Traveller. You and everyone on this forum have been so helpful in going through this dreadful process. Only people going through this can understand/ We mostly look normal on the outside but on the inside- oh wow. Thanks a lot for the encouragement!

I so agree, P!!! While I can't say that healing my infection will help any with my crazy person inside of me (LOL!), I will certainly not be so extreme! LOL!

Yes, I too have sat and wondered who would be the most "fun" to go after in a law suit - but then I begin to count and realize that there are just way too many for me!!

My 'dear diary' entries would have looked sooo much like what you stated - if I kept a diary!! I have written much while I was at my lowest, but find that I can't even read it now. It's shocking to read what I was going through - and I was there while I was going through it!! Only other Lyme patients would understand, and I surely don't want to be depressing to them!! So I keep those long ago thoughts tucked away in a drawer. Oddly enough that symbolism has proven helpful for me.

I too deal with those horrible thoughts upon waking, though mine is more of like being hit with a dose of reality. I worry I am getting worse, getting weaker, etc. I wake up and immediately feel anxious, like there's a bundle of nerves in my stomach, and exhausted/weighed down. Today it was tiring just to sit up! But I got up and started doing stuff and now feel somewhat better.

I'm just so used to each day being more or less the same right now, so that's how my mind reacts when I wake up - like it's stuck in a mental pattern. I know it won't last, though it sure feels like it! Hang in there Girlie and tough it out one day at a time. Knowing so many here have dealt with the same thing is what is pushing me along.

Girlie, so sorry.

Spey, "crapstorm." That's funny.

I get images of crap whirling around.

I think I'm in a crap storm.

And yes, it's very hard to wake up feeling more tired than you did the day before.

People don't even understand, "tired."

G, don't worry about ALS. My mother had it, and it really did seem different from Lyme. And MS? In my opinion, MS is a piece of cake compared to Lyme :)

Margaret



Margaret

Aww Catchscooter - I feel for you...I/We all know what we are all going through...and that's why it's so important for us to keep posting...our sad times, our good times...and also the times where we feel we just can't go on...because no one else...no one...really gets it except us.

I can feel your pain...I get it...hoping you feel better soon!

Margaret - I think ALS doesn't usually come with the horrific pain I feel everyday. I think weakness it more predominant? I say this to myself when I worry about ALS...maybe I'm fooling myself.