Confused about my llmd

Originally I had a lot of faith in my llmd's ability to heal my lyme. He is a good dr and very knowledgeable about lyme. I felt I was in good hands using a good combo of antibiotics and anti malarials, as well as supplements diet changes and herbs.

Then, I went off antibiotics after a little over 6 months, and relapsed. I am still grateful for my llmd and would rather have him to guide me than someone with even less experience. But now I just feel a huge loss of faith in both my llmd's ability to heal me and in antibiotics as a way to get healed.

Really right now I am feeling like the chances of getting better at all are pretty slim, in other words, discouraged.

I am slightly hopeful about the new herbal regiment I am going to start, But at the same time I am cynical because I feel that if it really worked lots of people would be using it and saying it worked.
Instead, I find any lyme success stories far and few between, with any method.

Now that I relapsed when I stopped the antibiotics, I am seeing tons of stories of this happening to so many people.
I am still waiting to talk in person to some practicioners locally who have healed their own lyme. ( They all book like a month ahead).

I see my llmd in a week and will tell him my concerns. But I just feel like-what can he even do for me at this point? He can put me back on antibiotics, which are causing unpleasant side effects. But then I just feel that when I get off them, the symptoms would return.

Before I was just hopeful that I would get through the treatment and be fine. Now I just feel cynical. I do try to put my mind into a good frame of I will get through this, but also sometimes I have to just speak the feelings I am having which is worried that no one really knows how to get me healed from lyme.

At the start of a treatment, the dr is full of promise- I can get you to where you are symptom free. okay, great.

And now I have a glimpse of hope with the herbal treatment I will try. But I am not so sure it will work either.
and so now what about my llmd? I mean, he can keep putting me on antibiotics, but I don't have much faith that they will keep the lyme away, and I am starting to hate the side effects.

Is there any way to win this situation ?

Margaret- have you been on the misty meadows a while and has it helped?
I ordered it and am waiting for it to start. Have you or anyone you know had success with this or other herbals?

He took my off abx becasue my symptoms were mostly resolved. Except my tinnitus and ear issues. Tonight I am thinking the lyme itself just damaged the ear nerves. I don't know if this indicates a still active infection in that area or if it is just an effect of the lyme harming my ears.

He said one month abx past 85% better. I know people say 2 months abx past 100% better. But I was a lot better.
Then when I went off my anxiety came back, over the month I was off. And fatigue.

He had me on a combo they make in his practice or something.
First I did cryptolepsis and artemesia.
then the last few months I stopped crytpolepsis and added cats claw andrograhpis and a few others ( not the same ones in misty meadows or buhner, no knotweed). And the doses were not that high- 4 small capsules a day. Plus some supplements- mthf-5, vitamin d

Post Edited (Katebirch) : 12/3/2014 7:13:28 PM (GMT-7)

my llmd isn't really switching up my protocol. I found the herbs I want to try through this forum and will talk about it with him.

If I thought a longer course of abx would help I am willing to do it. But I is causing a bad side effect where my left side nerves on my hand arm and leg are very tingling and sometimes numb. I know anything and everything can be the lyme and not the anibiotics. And that this is a lyme symptom too. But I only noticed it like the very last week before I stopped the antibiotics, when most of my other symptoms were gone. Then when I stopped the antibiotics it went away in a week or less, and stayed aobut 90% away. Then it returned full force when I resumed the antibiotics. So I think it is the antibiotics messing up my nerves.

I am hoping the teas I will start will help repair some of my nerves.

I had originally had a lot of hope about the antibiotics. If I heard lots of success stories I would be okay with going back on for a few months. But I am concerned it is harming my body and not keeping the lyme away anyway. I just don't know what to do.

I am working on returning to some faith that I have lost sinc eI have been struggling with lyme, and trying to ask the good powers that be to heal me even if I don't know how yet.

I had gotten to 85% or more better after 6 and a 1/2 mnths of treatment. So I don't know what to think now. I feel worse now than when I first stopped treatment- partly because of the nerve issues.
Also I feel the ear issues and fatigue. My ears actually hurt more at the end of treatment when I was on abx than on the times I would take a few days off. My ears didn't hurt as much when I was off the abx as they do now- not that hurt, but the tinnitus has been there ever since I think the lyme first really went active after I had it aout 7 months, I think it just went to my ears and head. So anyway the tinnitus has been the same both on and off the antibiotics.