my guy goes back to work today. And I'm really nervous!

I've been dependant on him for almost everything lately. I've just been a great big mess. Now it's time for me to scrape myself up off the floor and get back to reality.

I don't have good balance. Yesterday I tried to pick my son up and put him in his car seat and I was too weak to lift him!! Good thing he can climb in himself. My arms and legs have no strength still after that high fever a few weeks ago.

I feel like I've let myself down and let myself go.. I've never been one to tell myself that I can't do things, and lately that's all I've been telling myself. I need my can do spirit back!

Being afraid of being alone with my son feels awful. Not feeling capable of being a parent is heartbreaking. Oh man... I'm constantly being reminded of how sick I am. Trying to get my son dressed and my hands don't work, gasping in pain to sit down on the toilet, walking up and down my stairs and being left lightheaded. My vision just totally sucks too.

Enough conplaining!! That's all I've done lately and it's so out of character! Time to be strong and let the worry roll off my back. I can do this!

Thanks ks girlie :)

I've been my own cheerleader all day and things are working out Ok. I underestimate my little guy. He knows that I'm sick and has been pretty agreeable.

The weather is nice so we can be outside. that helps alot!

It's kind of sad though.. He keeps asking for his daddy and that hurts my feelings. I can't hold him unless I'm sitting down.

But it's all good! We are having fun!