pain pain pain... relentless, mood ruining, smile stopping pain.

I'm so so so so sick of hurting. How many of you out there have pain bad enough out there that you need pain killers every single day? I eat tramadol like m&ms with hardly any relief.

My day starts out by waking up earlier than I want to with a huge headache and really bad stomach cramps. The cramps are my bladder and intestines telling me it's time to go to the bathroom. I have to be elevated for about 20 minutes for the pressure in my head to go down so I can see straight.

Then my leg and feet start aching. you would not believe how bad toes can hurt! Then my hands will start up. They are so stiff and swollen they feel like they are going to pop. I run them under cold water to get the swelling down and then they ache more from the cold. So I have hands that don't want to work, feet that are excruciating to use, and a swollen achy leg.

All throughout the day I get such bad cramps that I hold my breath Because that tiny bit of movement makes it worSe. I'm peeing up to 60 times a day, yes 60! That really kills a person's quality of life! Just imagine feeling like you are about to pee your pants every single second of everyday and if you don't go every 5 minutes then your bladder retaliates by feeling like it's going to explode! I pee blood every so often, so I know there is something actually wrong there.

Then my lungs hurt. Pluerisy. Again I hold my breath and pray my son doesn't need anything for a few minutes while I wait for it pass.

In the middle of the day is usually when my headache starts getting really bad again. My eyes hurt, all of my face bones, the inside of my ears. this is when my pupils change size and I can't see because they are two different focuses. Every step makes my head pound and I want to drill a hole in my forehead or put my eyes on the shelf for a while. My teeth will start aching and I feel like I need to rip them out to provide relief. My nose, everything in my face hurts. My jaw gets so tired I can't chew and aches for hours. I even drool sometimes and I don't even care because it's too much work to keep my face in check!

My lower back has been hurting for 18 months straight. my spine was out of alignment so bad one side of my rib cage was poking about a couple INCHES farther than the other. I had some CST and it fixed it right up, but it was painful. It's a constant dull ache.

My wrists hurt all the time. I have bruises all over for no reason. My heart even hurTs. Every heart beat is killing me when I lay down to go to sleep and it makes me panic. It's been happening long enough now that I'm convinced it's not going to kill me. But still scary.

I have percocet to take too. But I refuse to take more than a couple a week. I don't want to end up strung out on pain killers because of this. It's horrible. I'm in an awful mood and have zero patience. I snap at everyone when it's really bad. My guy tells me to go take pain pills and I refuse. But when I give in I feel so much better and happier and it dawns on me how bad I'm actually hurting. I'm just so used to it I take it at face value that it's My normal. But it's not!!

I'd like to think that I'm tough, and I probably am. I've been living like this for years. I've never known what it's like to hold my son without pain. I think it would take me being on a morphine drip to not feel any pain! That's obviously not an option lol. Is this common for people? To be hurting 24/7? sometimes I just lay there and cry. Throw myself at its mercy and completely give up. It's the most helpless feeling in the world..

I tell myself that this is building character. And when I'm free of it I will appreciate everything in life more. But.... but!!!!! I don't always feel like being tough! I don't always feel like taking pain pills! I literally get scared when I run out because I'm just not up for fighting it anymore. I'm tired. I'm grumpy. I'd like to be able to smile without feeling like my face is going to break.

Ahhh.... it feels good to complain to people who get it. Thanks for listening.

IHL - What you are going through is horrible. Your LLMD knows about all this, right? It is too much for a person to handle.

I have pain all day, too, and in the night when I shift positions, I wake up because my shoulders hurt, along with a scar from a more recent surgery I had.

I am constantly debating pain killers. My Dr. will prescribe Lyrica for me if I want it, but I just don't want something that I have to take every day...i want something 'as needed' - just to give me a break.

I am thinking of the Nabilone - pharmaceutical version of marijuana pain killer. It's apparently synthetic, not the real stuff...but I think I would have to take it every day, too.

My pain is not as awful as yours. Mine is maybe 3 out of 10, ramping to a 4 out of 10...which to most people doesn't sound bad, but when it's everyday...and it's in many places in the body...along with other symptoms that aren't pain...it's too much for me sometimes, too.

I think, if we knew that for sure relief was coming - say in "X" number of months, it would be easier to deal with, right?

What your going through is too much, IHL. I think you do need to be on something. You can't live in that much pain, constantly.

The sun helps so much! Being cold makes everything worse. I have 2 very understanding doctors that work with me. They don't have an issue with giving me pain pills. I have an issue with taking them!

When you have a kid that is a ball of constant energy taking pills to relieve pain but make you want to sit down because they make you drowsy sucks too. I go back and forth. Sometimes I'd rather be tired, sometimes I'd rather be in less pain. The thing about it though is even with strong narcotic pain medication like percocet, it only takes it down about 20-40%. So it's not always worth being so tired over for that little of relief.

I'm just ready to be farther along in treatment so this subsides. I just want it gone. I'm over treating symptoms. I used to really want pain pills everyday, and now that I have them I don't like them. Just too hard to please I guess Lol.

I don't want anything that I have to take on an everyday basis to work. Because I don't always want to feel weird or tired. I know there are a lot of people that would love to have percocet everyday, I'm just not one of them. They make me really irritable if I take them for like a week straight or so. It's weird. I'm comfortable with tramadol. They say it's not addictive and is hardly considered a narcotic. But it just doesn't work wEll. Like I said before I'd probably need something like dilaudid or morphine to be pain free.

HUGS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!

IHL

I posted this for Teragram, but I think you need extra TLC today also!!!


HUGS, HUGS, and more HUGS.

I wish I could be there in person to help all of you each day, a meal, a grocery trip, pick up meds or organize your bills and pay them!

It's frustrating to be here at home, caring for someone who does need me but is not nice, and knowing all of you are out there and there is so much I could do to help you if you were just closer!



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