Posted 5/4/2016 6:30 AM (GMT 0)
trompeloy -
Wow... you have had quite the journey. I have only a few thoughts - many have already provided good input. But I have a few suspicious based on what included in your post.
I have had moments of surrealism and strong feelings of disconnectedness for as long as I can remember. I literally remember as a small child being in awe and bewildered by the existential realism that I was ME. Not someone else, not someone I could see or knew, or remembered, but ME and I was in MY body. I would sit and ponder that while I was supposed to be sleeping, or during school or while playing with my friends. It was so strange.
Certainly after contracting lyme & co 18+ yrs ago I have mostly felt like I was functioning in slow motion, on a cloud and that I was living and going through the motions of a life that had already happened and I can't explain that. It's so unsettling.
I also live constantly in the past in terms of constantly having vivid memories of things that have happened that are mostly unremarkable... detailed conversations I had or memories I recall. This came mostly when I started detoxing about 5 yrs ago, which I had never done before. I've read that your body tissues can hold what is called "muscle memory" but that you have emotional connections to your body tissues and detoxing stirs these up as the toxins are released and hopefully flushed out of your system. Knowing what science knows know (and Naturopaths have always known) we have specific blood vessels connecting our gut and our brain, so this makes perfect sense.
Something also clicked for me as I reached the end of your post and saw that you had a long history of psychotropic drugs. I think herein lies the answer to a lot of the symptoms you mentioned. Chemically altering your neurotransmitter functions and synapse and hormone control is a powerful thing. With the DNA mutations you mentioned, I would bet that you also have a few that make you also have some neurotransmitter imbalances and are likely very vulnerable to these types of drugs.
I did extensive research a couple of yrs ago and found that I have biological sensitivities to these drugs, a natural neurotransmitter imbalance, was born with low "good" gut bacteria along with the typical methylation challenges. The only thing I took for about a year back in the mid-90s for severe depression was Prozac and I've since wondered if it has forever altered my brain.
Also, you might be fighting a yeast/fungal overgrowth, which involves nasty acetaldehyde and other nasty neural toxins that can cause the sanest person to lose it. Especially if you are already fighting with nitrogen overload in the brain. Probiotics alone are likely not going to get an existing yeast/fungal imbalance under control--you need a strong anti fungal (oddly, there are some anti-depressants that are actually anti fungal in composition).
Maybe this is all review for you. I wish I could be of more help.
-p