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Posted 2/28/2016 11:06 PM (GMT 0)
This has been an emotionally draining week. A colleague and friend died of cancer Wednesday morning. I visited her quite a bit at the end. What a horrific disease! It's hard to believe a week ago Friday I brought her a strawberry Sunday and she ate 1/4 of it. By Sunday she could no longer communicate. Wednesday morning she went to heaven. The pain and destruction was so hard to witness.

I was surprised that I had done so well physically. I had very little fatigue. I was tired at night. But I expected a let down. It came this afternoon. I was just sitting at my computer and boom. Wow, I don't feel good. It was that half -nauseous -oh -no -not -again! air- gone -out of -the -ballon feeling. Why. Why the delay?

I would say that I've been running on adrenalin, but yeSterday was a quiet day.

Thoughts?
Posted 2/28/2016 11:13 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Purple, I am so very sorry for your loss. I think it takes awhile for our minds to accept the loss.

My daughter died of cancer, it will be 7 years ago in May. She was 38 and fought hard for 3 years and tons of chemo and radiation and surgeries. It was breast cancer and very aggressive.

When she died I was numb and after the funeral and life was suppose to go back to normal..... I fell apart. I think I just held it together and then when I was done holding it together, boy was I done.

Your friend was lucky to have you as a friend by her side.

Again my condolences.
Posted 2/28/2016 11:28 PM (GMT 0)
We were both fortunate. I had her to tell my Lyme woes too. And she didn't act like, well that's nothing! She even told me about the Claritin thing when that went around. She couldn't believe there were doctors who didn't believe in Lyme! We cried together when we felt crummy at work. 😔. I'm so glad her pain is gone. Like your daughter, she fought valiantly.

One thing chronic illness does is change you from the inside out. I was sympathetic before, now I am fearless at saying those things that need to be heard and being there when someone needs you.
Posted 2/28/2016 11:37 PM (GMT 0)
We just seem to hold up until the event is over. I did that when my mom passed away after a 4 year decline, and about 2 weeks of the death process. It impacted me adrenals, which are better now, and my thyroid, which is worse from continued stress.

I'm so sorry you went through that experience. It's never easy. I hope you get some help soon.

PeteZa, I can't imagine what you went through. I think that is the toughest loss to go through.

Hugs to you both.
Posted 2/28/2016 11:42 PM (GMT 0)
Agreed. Peteza that has got to be the hardest watching your child suffer. I am sure you remember her every day. It's unnatural to see your child go before you do. 😞

And thank you garden peace. I am doing really well on the buhner protocol. This has just taken me a back. I will rest today. I may take a half day tomorrow.

Post Edited (Purple Tulip) : 2/28/2016 4:45:38 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 2/28/2016 11:55 PM (GMT 0)
I joked with my daughter that she had the easy part just lying there hurting. We laughed a lot. I told her when she was dying that I was angry that she was not going to have to pay bills. She gave me the raspberry. I have wonderful memories! And I have had time.

This is new for you Purple and it will hurt for awhile. You will get what I call "blindsided" every once in awhile. Blindsided is when life is moving along and you are coping with the loss just fine. All of a sudden you will see something or hear something that reminds you of your friend and you will lose it. Just go with the flow. Cry and smile at the same time and know that someone made a beautiful mark on your life and in your heart. It is all about love. If you don't love, you never get hurt.
Posted 2/28/2016 11:57 PM (GMT 0)
And thank you for those kinds thoughts Garden Peace.
Posted 2/29/2016 12:33 AM (GMT 0)
Sounds about right. Everyone grieves in a different way too. Thanks.
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