emotional spiral dizzyness

I cant cry any more ..it make blood vessels shrink and exacerbates symptoms then i freak out and cry some more ..i watched "under the 8 ball" yesterday and his sister died drom lyme als (very powerful movie with interviews with shoemaker ,and garth nicolson and burrascano' . Willy burfedori (had alheimers like speech).. dont know if i am treating hard enough or too hard ...
my cousin is dx with scleroderma and a friend said hers was undiagnosed lyme ..i have this fear like claustrophobia of not being able to move .like trapped in my body and i am not there yet but when i think about it i wig out ..i used to be so zen ...i could go anywhere in my mind ..now its aweful places and dark thoughts .i refuse to be a prisoner in my own body...how can stop it .how can i not give up when is it ok to throw the towel...it is not today ...but i fear that day months or years down the road it is coming ...dont want to take any more zanax ..ideas help empathy ? tapping ,holy basil sorta helps ...trav rikky pirouette girlie reminder pza how do you do it knowing tomarrow is going to be just as hard or worse

I am so sorry bluelyme... These are the toughest days. I can endure pain. Doubt and frustration can topple me in a heartbeat.

When I have my days of questioning tomorrow like Girlie said, I try really hard to detox, figure out what I forgot to take, what piece of my protocol I forgot to do... I try finding new ways of controlling inflammation--I'm reading so much about inflammation as a main source of our pain. I try focusing on my research. I try redirecting my attention to helping others. I try withdrawing into a pathetic little ball. I try meditation and breathing and I try to be kind to myself. Sometimes, all you can do is just make it through THIS day and worry about the next day later.

I DO think it's more likely that people at this stage are doing too much than too little. I think there is a risk in letting up too much but I also think taking breaks or easing the intensity is worth exploring.

Be good to yourself!

-p

bluelyme - listening, caring... imagining your highest self whispers out loud what you need in the moment to bring you comfort and care. sending a beam of positivity.

I.... LOVE.... So You Think You Can Dance.......!!!!!

This is not your typical reality competition show. THIS show is leaps and bounds above and beyond the American Idols and all the other (ridiculous) shows that are designed to make profits off making people look stupid and incompetent. It is truly a soulful experience to watch an entire season, invest emotion in these young souls trying so hard to just be GOOD and be the best they can be. And it's a wonderful role model for kids.

Dancers are unique creatures. They are almost always en ensemble, not SOLO artists, like singers and musicians. And you can bet that this defines their characters in a different way and makes them gentler, more soulful souls. LOL... I can say this because I was a better singer than dancer but dancers were always the cream of the crop in my eyes.

Anyway, I'm rambling but this show is SO WONDERFUL for young people and I'm so glad it is still airing (I think? It's in its 10th season or so? I don't know.)

OK... excited rant over. LOL

Great post, Krimpet - I totally agree, bluelyme! watching a little SYTYCD is so uplifting. I wish the painter guy who died - was still on TV. When I was younger I could always always turn him on and take a nice, rejuvenating nap. He was mesmerizing.

-p

Painting with bob ross..he had a great fro...i think he is on netflix..thanks that cheers me up