Lyme Disease side effects or abusive partner?? How do you know

I recently left an abusive partner. Truth be told I stayed way longer than I should have because I was scared that I was sick and he was my last chance.

I was diagnosed with Lyme disease at the beginning(ish) of our relationship (before we moved in together. When I told with my Doctor that my partner and I were trying for a child. I wanted to know if there was medication what the possibilities were ect..

Well she full stopped me and demanded my partner come in for testing as Lyme could be transferred sexually. Around xmas the results came back positive.

Needless to say it got much much worse when we lived together. Sadly I also got sicker so I thought everything was my fault because of my limited income and because I was sick...

eventually getting physical, hurting my cats and stepping out his ex and yelling at my in front of his mother to have them both blame me...

Sadly i was able to recover in a shelter but I still am wondering ... what was the Lyme and what was the abuse?

Post Edited (LifeDreamer101) : 5/29/2020 5:46:36 PM (GMT-6)

Hi LifeDreamer and welcome!

I'm so sorry you went though this but good for you for leaving this abusive partner! In my opinion there are so many with chronic lyme disease but that does NOT make them abusive. I myself suffered from lyme rage when I was sick but I was not abusive to anyone. I vented on a forum or wrote down my angry thoughts in a diary I kept. Then I found a supplement that I took that took away my lyme rage.

Anyway, IMHO there are just many abusers in this world. My ex-husband was verbally abusive to me when I was sick with chronic lyme (he wasn't before I got sick) and we broke up (my choice) because the stress of him yelling at me was too much for me. Having lyme was bad enough and I didn't need him screaming at me. When he left I felt all the stress leave my body and I was so peaceful!!

I hope you find your path to healing not only from lyme but from the damage done by your partner.

Best to you!
Denise

Hi Lifedreamer,
Welcome to our community. I'm glad you found us. I'm so sorry for what you have been through, but you are not alone - I was in an abusive relationship for a time while I had Lyme (and didn't know what I had).

When a person has Lyme, they are very sensitive to stress - and being in an abusive relationship is more than a little bit stressful, so while some of what you went through may not have happened had you not been in that stressful situation, a good portion of it was Lyme - most likely. No one can answer that completely simply because we can't know what the course of your illness would have been like had you not been under said stress.

One of the best things you can do at this time - in my opinion, having lived through something similar - is to not dwell on what was Lyme and what was due to the relationship, but to just move forward with continuing to give yourself the best care you can.

Lyme can really throw a lot of uncertainty in our lives, but so can other experiences when they are extremely negative. Every experience we have will usually help shape us. So we have to look at why we are reacting in a certain way and, if it's unhealthy, do what we can to face the issue, and move past it. If it's due to your health, then you will continue to heal and move on.

Without delving into a ton of psychiatry, we can support you, but you are the only one with the answers. If you believe that it really is holding you back, then I would suggest that you locate a good Lyme literate counselor/psychiatrist to try working through these issues.

Once you enable your email through this site (in your "My profile"), you can post on here about needing to find a Lyme Literate counselor and the state and area you are located, other members that have seen a Lyme literate counselor will have the opportunity to share contact information with you for that doctor.

You can also send me an email and let me know the state and area that you live in and I'll check to see if I have any listed in your area. I know I do have a precious few listed.

You can also try these resources to see if you can locate a Lyme literate counselor:

You can email the Tick-Borne Disease Alliance at [email protected]​ for LLMD referrals.


You can go to The Lyme Disease Association and search for LLMD's 3 times in a month. You have to register first. Here is the link:
www.lymediseaseassociation.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=277&Itemid=74​​


ILADS has their own referral system as well:
ilads.org/ilads_media/physician-referral/

And www.LymeDoc.org

Thank you! I am very appreciative of all your comments and feedback!

Good news I have learnt a lot (am still learning) and am very very blessed to have had the support that I have had and gotten out.

At this point I am getting ready for the next phase, just as you have suggested I am trying to compartmentalize what happened so perhaps I can better manage my health and Lyme this year and going forward.

Hi Julymorning,
Totally understandable, I did a bug dump... your feedback was pretty spot on with why I has stayed and the back and forth of questions on my actions, reactions ... his actions.... Sadly I don't think I'll ever know why he did what he did but my doctor said his lyme was dormant and I was the one in the flare... But I am working on forgiving myself and moving forward (sometimes we go backwards to go forward I am often asked questions as to what was the disease... and what was the abuse... and I still dont know how to answer. You know the FOG...

I have a LLMD but she is far away and has been treating me for the event as of late because I really invested in learning the warning signs, my diet and well-being in regards to Lyme.

I am so sorry that you (all) had such experiences and happy to hear that you all found a way out and made the changes you needed to get healthier!