Before I Knew What I Was Dealing With - I wrote this

There a quiet riot going on in my heart today. It's like someone is playing racketball against the chambers of my heart and I can feel the reverberations in my throat and in the back of my skull.

It's a free floating pang of angst that has no exit sign to escape through. It's a breath caught up in a sandstorm that's rattling my aeorta. It's knocking in there like an inmate yelling for reprieve and even though I can feel it - I can't put a name on it exactly. Is it a thing or a discarded piece of my soul that's begging to come back into the fold? Is it a memory of something that shocked me to the core that's just been floating around in there like a sailor riding the 7 seas, each water way a trauma and each trauma a tidal wave, a tsunami that's now edging its way to the shores of my fist shaped heart, rising and crashing till soon my heart will simply overflow with the grief and sorrow I've known so well in so many incarnations and increments.



I need shelter. I need a raft. I need a net and I need providence from God and empathy from those that made it to the other side safely.

Hi Joyous,
I'm not sure how to help...I read your words and I feel your pain...I feel your desperation

I cant just tell you that it will be alright.

Our fight with these infections on a daily basis are difficult and can be all consuming.

They can take all our joy and stability and security away in a second.

If I could do anything, anything in my simple life...I would choose to be able to help all of you that are suffering and reaching out. I would choose to have the cure and the answers to make us well again.

I can only offer you my support....I am listening and I am praying and hoping for much better days ahead for you.

Please take care and know that you are not alone in this journey Jo