Ugh Thanksgiving

NOT excited about the holidays. Last year was fine, I sat around while everyone worked. It's such a bummer. We're not cooking this year again - we're ordering from a place and heating it up. I know I should be glad that everyone is here (well, not everyone) and that everyone else is in good health, but I miss being able to decorate and cook and shop. My husband's kids will be here - they're all over 20 and they're fine...they just make a big mess and lots of noise.

Also, my mom promised to make me a sugar free, gluten free pumpkin pie and I was so excited. I can't remember the last time I've had pie. At the last minute she said it's too hard. Just more of the same, I'm afraid. She's been so MIA since I got diagnosed. Always "too busy" when before she was always bugging me to hang out and calling me twice a day. Now she calls me once a week, if that. She used to keep me on the phone for an hour or more, now it's 5 minutes or less. I haven't talked to her in two weeks.

Oh well. I don't know why people suck.

Yes. People suck. Even more around the holidays. Holidays are hard for me. But there are times when I am relieved to be so far from everyone...

Sorry - that's not helpful to you but I felt like commiserating. ;)

holidays are going to suck this year. That's OK - there is always next year.

I agree w/ Girlie - go out and buy yourself a pie! You can share it only if you feel like it.

-p

Hi 10LymeB -

I think you deleted your other post? No worries.

I just wanted to respond to you - sounds like you're having a rough holiday. I'm sorry.

I have all the same challenges. I call it my cynical side and I have learned to embrace it. I'm hoping for a hybrid between my old personality and this new one from the infections - because it is my unique brand of cynicism that I hope eventually kind of returns as an important part of my humor. Now, it's just agitation. LOL Even though I'm mostly done with treating all my other sx, the neurotransmitter stuff remains.

But I see parts of my personality in other family members and with all of the DNA mutation investigations I did, which turned up countless possibilities for several health issues I have. I now strongly suspect that it's my neurotransmitter imbalances are part of my genetic disposition.

So, once I'm done w/ Lyme & Co, I will start investigating how to compensate for this - I tried a lot of supplementation before Lyme & Co tx but nothing worked. I think I need to find a specialist to work with.

But my point is - some of this could be damage from the infections, or something that needs more time to work through, and some of it might just be how you're put together.

In order to get through tx, you just need to keep your perspective. It's necessary to focus on today's "here-and-now" because so much of our tx success depends on understanding how you're responding to this or that on a daily basis. So, focus on that to keep your management up.

But also try to spend the bulk of your day stepping back and considering the context. There are many more tomorrows than just this one day. Next week is a WHOLE OTHER WEEK! You can't predict how next week will go based on today... that's one of the strange things about Lyme & Co.

Find important or mindless things you like doing, activities that make you feel good about yourself, add levity to the day, distract and nurture your brain - and be sure to schedule time for them, too. Reducing stress and giving that part of your nervous system a break from the burdens of illness and treatment are AS important to healing.

Find ways to pamper yourself. If you like detox soaks (SO very important in detoxing - your skin is your largest organ), find something that makes them even better - use your favorite essential oil or fragrance, plug in earphones with your favorite music or meditation program. Start following a professional mountain climber online or a favorite sports team.

Learn sign language or how to grow tomatoes. Get reconnected with a friend or family member you have lost touch with. Call your church organization and ask for someone to stop by once a week---or find an elderly neighbor who would benefit from a visit from you. Make a plate of brownies and take them with you to attend a support group or a community meeting.

I had such cognitive problems for about 75% of my treatment and while I know so many people benefited from posting here often and keeping in touch with everyone, I could never remember to do that. But you're already doing that! So if you can continue doing that, I think it's also very helpful to just get you through another day.

During this treatment, the holidays have felt so empty and sad, even. People have NO idea what loneliness is until you experience chronic illness... all alone. And recently for me, the holidays make it harder and mark 1, 2, 3, no - 4 years of this treatment after 16 yrs undiagnosed. That's a long time. I get it.

January will come. You can shift the 2017 holidays to whenever you want to celebrate them. Maybe plan a party for the spring and invite everyone and set up a tree and decorations.

THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS.

Hang in there, keep checking in.

-p

Ps. Post thanksgiving venting here... I am finally home. In bed . EXHAUSTED... and realized how very little I've eaten today.

There were mountains of food there, but very little that I could eat... guess I could've brought something, but it was all I could do just to get out of the house today!

anyway... Ended up getting a jar of olives & im eating them in bed straight outta the jar... yum

Thanks everyone. I do have high expectations. I know that. I just hate sitting there while everyone is cooking, cleaning, having fun and I'm like, "Hi, I'm just sitting here." It's not just boring, I have that guilt.

It's also that my step-kids are high energy. 21, 21, and 25. One of the 21-year-olds is autistic and he's a pill. When he's happy, he's LOUD screaming at the top of his lungs. When he's angry, he's pissy and grumpy and barks orders at everyone. Today he decided we're not allowed to say grace at dinner because he's got it into his head Christians are bad. He goes to a Christian college. Oh boy. And then we couldn't even do a round of "what we're all thankful for" at dinner because why? Who knows. It's that all night. It's sooooo much. It's a whole big story about enabling him and his constant crumby behavior. He's been allowed to misbehave his whole life. I do tend to get stressed out when he's around. The noise is too much. He and his twin feed off each other and the volume never goes down, no matter how much we ask.

Sorry for venting. It was nice to be around everyone, but I'm EXHAUSTED and of course, I ate too much. LOL

The post T-day weekend can be pretty relaxing if you didnt travel beyond your local area. I always remind myself this weekend is meant for relaxing or doing things I wanted to but didnt have time- that way its no burden on your time schedule. A lot of you have anxiety, keep this in mind.

I cant imagine doing the "mad shopping" the US consumer model says were supposed to be doing.

Funny, family finally remembered I'm not the gluten disposal machine I used to be. No more weird looks as I pass on all that stuff during T-day. Feel good (gut-wise)for once the days after. A "paleo" T-day dinner was still pretty good.

Now that we have made it through Thanksgiving...we must get through Christmas. Anyone else feel like decorating is a waste of spoons? My kiddos are out of the house & we aren’t hosting anything of course. It might make me feel better but might make me feel worse. I dunno.