Lyme sucide

Livingforhope,

If you ARE on antibiotics, I strongly suggest taking an abx holiday. I was in your shoes a couple of weeks ago--ready to give up. My LLMD suggested a break from abx, and after skipping just two doses, and drinking literally about two gallons of lemon water and apple cider vinegar, I felt like a new person. Seriously--overnight the sun came out and I could cope again.

I believe it was ammonia buildup in my brain, and I needed to clear it OUT of my body.

The plan was to start abx up again, slowly, after 3-4 days. But I haven't started up again yet. I cannot return to that dark place. Just can't. So instead I'm trying the Jernigan regimen of Borrelogen and Anti Tox. So far, so good. And most importantly--NO suicidal outlook. Thanks Deejavu, by the way, for the suggestion.

Livingforhope--if you ARE on conventional antibiotics, I would strongly suggest taking a complete holiday from all killing agents and focusing on detox--epsom salt baths (if you can tolerate them--I can't), and lots and lots of lemon water. Maybe some ACV and activated charcoal. Hang in there--sounds like your brain might be overloaded with toxins and you need to get them out.

livingforhope,

I, too, have been through times when it all just suddenly overwhelmed me and I wanted to die. I would get bouts of it, and it would come on suddenly. I would feel like I just wanted to scream and run off in the woods and die.

I'm sure now, like notsoscared said, it was due to an overload of brain toxins. Those bouts passed. They came back multiple times, and passed in like manner. They got fewer and farther between.

I know others just have sadness or depression that seems to be neverending. I have not experienced that, but others have.

Can you describe what in particular has you feeling this way?

Hi Livingforhope,

Just want to say I'm thinking of you and I understand that this battle is difficult for you right now.

We understand about the moments of despair and hopelessness.

Please hold on to the knowledge that it can get better.

Is there anyone family, friend , associates or a local in -person support group that you could reach out to.

It may be of help to you.

Meanwhile, always feel free to reach out to us for support or just to talk and get it all out.

You are not alone, we are here and are fighting this battle with you and we want the best of healing for you.


Take care, Jo

lyme is not a genetic disease, so u would have to wait for 50 years for a cure... in almost all cases it's just untreated infection with a bacteria that is complicated and quite sensitive to many treatments... a cure is not that impossible to believe can be achieved soon ...

i always think there are conditions out there much more hopeless than mine, and people still linger on and cling to some hope. i have a disease that does not kill me and it may be fully treatable soon, especially with all the recent research results that shows chronic lyme is a problem. i cannot think to kill myself, it would be really really stupid. i do not want my last days on this planet to be known as "that complete idiot took his life, then a year passed and they found a cure for his condition..."

Feeling the same and saw that the biggest cause of death from Lyme disease is actually suicide. I can understand why!

LivingForHope,

What a great username. I don't think it's any coincidence. When one drills-down enough, most things come down to Hope. It's what drives us to do most things. That word even helped elect a U.S. President. Hope is a powerful word, concept, and feeling. With it, we can go a little further. Without it, things seem pointless.

Many times, over the past five years, I've found myself having some dark, disparaging thoughts. So, while I don't know your exact feelings, I think I can somewhat relate. Many of us can.

Unfortunately, as is often the case for tough times in life, there's rarely a way around things. We usually have to go through them. While I'm not generally a fan of pithy statements, there is one that I often find helpful:

"If you're going through hell, keep going!"

(That quote is often attributed to Sir Winston Churchill, but likely originated elsewhere.)

So, I hope you remember that quote. Use it as a reminder. Allow it to give you strength to keep going.

Also recall that the "Right" thing and the "Easy" thing are usually opposites. So, if what you're doing is taking time, effort, persistence, patience, and, I'd even add discomfort, then you're probably on track.

As cliché as some of this may sound, for me, it's been true.

While I can't do much to exercise my physical body, these days, I exercise my understanding that neither illness nor recovery happen overnight. I build strength in my mind by practicing presence and patience. And, I build-up my character by practicing surrender.

From my own experience, I can tell you that these practices, while not always easy, HAVE and DO make a difference in my life.

Despite feeling physically unwell much of the time, I've been able to cultivate and grow an awareness and appreciation for the times that things improve and do go well. It's made me more mindful of many things I (and, many of us) previously took for granted for so long.

Maybe that's the point to all of this. I don't know.

Make a list of the people and things you love and meditate on them. Nothing is too small. Think of your friends and family members that love you, too. Add them to your list. Consider the things you will do, once you're feeling better. Make some goals - nothing crazy, keep it reasonable and attainable. Consider any things you may have previously ignored or took for granted - what will you do different?

If you're going through hell, keep going!

Sending you love,

The Dude

LivingforHope
I am usually on the PC forum but your name intrigued me so I came here. Just wanted to advise you to take that advice from the Dude Abides, it is one of the most powerful, meaningful, and hopeful messages that I have seen on this or other forums. I will take it to heart and hopefully you will too!

Hope you are feeling better soon, just keep that faith that you will.
Personal thank you to the Dude abides
Wings aka Dan in So Cal

Livingforhope said...
Been feeling this way like I have to give up lately. I'm miserable and don't see a way out

People here find their way out, you can too. No matter how bad off one is, there is always someone worse.

There are many supplements that can brighten your day too for less that a dollar a day. We have hundreds of depression and anxiety posts- no Rx needed for most people facing this.

Life throws the unexpected at you when your not ready. Health, job ect- everything changes in life at some point. Climbing out of an abyss is a good feeling that many achieve, the journey itself sucks though.

Thank you right now my doctor is trying to kill the lyme so its been hell you guys are great thank you serioislu