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Anyone here with depersonalization/derealization?

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Posted 8/14/2018 3:00 AM (GMT 0)
I'd like to reach out to anyone who has/has had dissociation. It has been my first and worst symptom, 24/7 for 6 years now. It's severely thick and nothing seems to make it budge. Everything in my brain is so dim, like a dark room being lit by just a faint, flickering candle. The only infection I've tested positive for is bartonella and i commonly see that associated with DP/DR more than any others. However, months of Buhner's and now months of abx haven't changed anything.
Does anyone else here suffer from this chronically? It's nearly impossible to describe the feeling of nothingness or "having no soul" to someone who hasn't experienced it

Post Edited (Aerose91) : 8/13/2018 9:03:21 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/14/2018 3:18 AM (GMT 0)
I have had feelings like that on and off since I was a kid...I never could describe what it was...I remember saying to my father as a kid "dad did you ever feel weird that you were you?" that was the only way I could verbalize it at that time...and four years back it became intense...I felt like I wasent in my body...its such a strange feeling I know...I still get it on and off...once in a great great great while I take a prescribed medication to calm the fear...but I have had the same bottle for over a year ...so I only do that in severe desperation as they are very habit forming and I don't need any other obstacles to overcome thats for sure. I am wondering if the pinella from nutramedix would help me with that.
Posted 8/14/2018 3:21 AM (GMT 0)
Do you think it is caused by your lyme?
Posted 8/14/2018 4:58 AM (GMT 0)
I don’t know if what I experienced was depersonalizations/derealization.

It was when I first got symptoms in 2013...I was recovering from what I thought was a pinched nerve injury (turned out to be Lyme) and I was really messed up psychologically.

I didn’t want my husband to go to work and leave me (he was working nights at the time) - I felt very strange - and told him “I don’t know who I am anymore”

He just looked at me and said “What do you mean?”

I couldn’t explain it. It lasted a few weeks I’d intermittently feel like that - and eventually it just went away on its own.
Posted 8/14/2018 5:53 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah I experience as we discussed in one of my pats from this week. I know what you're going through. I only have bart btw and im not sure what you're doing as for treatment but i look forward to reaching out to you again as we progress in treatments and see how its improving. Take care man.
Posted 8/14/2018 6:04 AM (GMT 0)
Aerose91- is one of your symptoms lacking brain stamina? Like totally unable to get through a movie or lets say write an entire essay without gassing out? Not even sure if this is a associated symptom but im just curious if you or maybe someone else has it.
Posted 8/14/2018 6:24 AM (GMT 0)

LJohn23 said...
Yeah I experience as we discussed in one of my pats from this week. I know what you're going through. I only have bart btw and im not sure what you're doing as for treatment but i look forward to reaching out to you again as we progress in treatments and see how its improving. Take care man.

You have 24/7 derealization too? I'd be interested to talk with you more about it. How long have you had it?

I did Buhner herbs for 8 or 9 months and am currently on Clarithromycin and Rifabutin
Posted 8/14/2018 9:10 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah every second for about 6 years now. It started in 9th grade when I believe a traumatizing moment at a party triggered the underlying infection. Too bone honest, I still have depersonalization, but its easy for me to ignore , being, its just my way of life now which is sad. I just can't feel what its like to be my old self, to react the same way to things. Very robotic like. Its an essence that's gone. At first, id look down at my feet, and feel like they weren't mine, like I was looking at something inanimate. I've just gotten used to this and everything thing else that comes with it.
Posted 8/14/2018 11:07 AM (GMT 0)

LJohn23 said...
Yeah every second for about 6 years now. It started in 9th grade when I believe a traumatizing moment at a party triggered the underlying infection. Too bone honest, I still have depersonalization, but its easy for me to ignore , being, its just my way of life now which is sad. I just can't feel what its like to be my old self, to react the same way to things. Very robotic like. Its an essence that's gone. At first, id look down at my feet, and feel like they weren't mine, like I was looking at something inanimate. I've just gotten used to this and everything thing else that comes with it.

Im really sorry to hear this is happening to you, especially so young. Have you been treating lyme/co's for a while now? Any progress?
Posted 8/14/2018 11:13 AM (GMT 0)
I actually suffered from Depersonalization before I got Lyme. I got mine after a severe panic attack at work. Panic attacks are a known trigger for Dp as well as Marijuana. There's actually a whole forum I use to frequent dedicated to Depersonalization / Derealization. It's called DPSELFHELP.Com, look it up if you haven't already. Thousands and thousands of people suffer with this.

In my case the Lyme and DP were not associated. But Lyme can certainly cause it. Other stuff can to though and sometimes it has nothing to do with Lyme or co-infections. Panic Attacks, Marijauna, Trauma, etc, have all been known triggers. Check out that site if you ever get the chance.

Post Edited (JayPoppa) : 8/14/2018 5:18:22 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/15/2018 10:23 AM (GMT 0)
I’ve definitely had this one...still struggling with it,
but since i know i have Lyme, when it hits, I’m telling myself
“it will pass, just hold on”.

In my opinion, it has connection with the neurological changes.

For example, I used to be very concentrated and able to read and study a subject
for a long period of time, I used to have strong i terests in something, I liked to
dive deep mentally.
And borrelia has definitely hacked my system, I became
“idontgiveacrap” girl, “whocares” and “whatever”.

Since I m on herbs, I m getting myself back!!!
And it is he best gift I’ve had ever!!!!!
Posted 8/15/2018 5:46 PM (GMT 0)
Arieco- are you on buhners protocol and biofilm killers?
Posted 8/15/2018 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
Aerose91- thank you. Hinestly, I feel very fortunate to actually find the root behind the problem. I though at one point that it would be like this forever, then, one day its like an angel just dropped this information in front of me randomly. I've been checked by an llmd and the symptoms and random scratch marks especially confirmed bartonella. But, I can't afford to see an llmd so im starting buhners protocol with multiple biofilm busters. Hopefully its a success, but if not, im hoping to save enough money in the meantime to see an llmd.
Posted 8/16/2018 7:09 AM (GMT 0)

LJohn23 said...
Aerose91- thank you. Hinestly, I feel very fortunate to actually find the root behind the problem. I though at one point that it would be like this forever, then, one day its like an angel just dropped this information in front of me randomly. I've been checked by an llmd and the symptoms and random scratch marks especially confirmed bartonella. But, I can't afford to see an llmd so im starting buhners protocol with multiple biofilm busters. Hopefully its a success, but if not, im hoping to save enough money in the meantime to see an llmd.

Are you seeing any success with Buhner's herbs?
Posted 8/16/2018 7:17 AM (GMT 0)

JayPoppa said...
I actually suffered from Depersonalization before I got Lyme. I got mine after a severe panic attack at work. Panic attacks are a known trigger for Dp as well as Marijuana. There's actually a whole forum I use to frequent dedicated to Depersonalization / Derealization. It's called DPSELFHELP.Com, look it up if you haven't already. Thousands and thousands of people suffer with this.

In my case the Lyme and DP were not associated. But Lyme can certainly cause it. Other stuff can to though and sometimes it has nothing to do with Lyme or co-infections. Panic Attacks, Marijauna, Trauma, etc, have all been known triggers. Check out that site if you ever get the chance.

Yes, i spent some time on that board. Oddly, i didn't like staying there because a place like here, we can talk treatments and solutions. There, it's a lot of desperate people with a vague illness. I feel so much for them but i prefer focusing on problem solving
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