I can't take this

I took a big hit today, my brain just got much worse and I dont know the definite reason. I wanted to move a tiny bit this evening so I walked a few hundred yards then did 10 or so pushups. Just wanted to move. When I got back I took a capsule of tryptophan in Hope's it would help me sleep- I've taken it many times before. about 30 min after sitting down I got hit with a big wave of panic, adrenaline and immediatly felt big parts of my brain go down. That is this disease for me- it's all in my brain. I lost any slight ability I had to feel, now everything is just completely flat and hollow. What little perception of time I had went the rest of the way. Confusion, derealization and dysautonomia got much worse.

I dont know if this is from the walking and pushups or tryptophan. The issues in my brain are always bad but this just made everything much worse. I'm so tired of it. Tired of nothing working and always being in such an altered state of consciousness. Feeling like this (being unable to feel) is horrible. I dont know what caused this and I'm hoping I didnt do too much damage. I hope this is recoverable. I've read Buhners book and he talks about damage to the amygdala and how it causes loss of perception of the world around you. I just dont know what to do because nothing has ever worked. I cant tell you how badly I want to feel again.

The part of my brain I need to analyze things took a hit and now my thoughts are all disjointed. I'm sorry for this post, I'm not sure what I intended with it. I dont know if it was the moving around or tryptophan. Can 500mg tryptophan possibly do something like this? I want to know what I did here can be reversed, it's so hard to live like this. This is so tiring

I'm sorry for this random post, I think I'm just needing to tell someone. Having your brain take such large hits is so scary and demoralizing

Post Edited (Aerose91) : 6/14/2020 1:10:46 AM (GMT-6)

Did you really? I've never had a reaction to it before. I'm extremely blank yet simultaneously in a state of anxiety due to the adrenaline. its worrying me.

I dont have the warmth. I do get hot flashes and sweats at night a lot, though.

I take it you improved from the tryptophan problems? How long did it take?

Thanks for responding

I really appreciate it. Unfortunately no sleep tonight. I have enough trouble sleeping as it is, then add in the extra adrenaline tonight and it's a wash. My brain is already very bad so significant drops like this that come on so hard and quick are distressing- I cant fathom my brain declining to a lower functioning.

It seems like however good my eating patterns are I still am carrying normal
Do you normally have DR?

Again, thank you for the help

Post Edited (Aerose91) : 6/14/2020 2:17:11 AM (GMT-6)

Thanks, you're very kind. I keep a glass of salt water next to my bed. That sux about Huperzine A. Aee I've taken that too with no reactions. Messing with other neurotransmitters is freaky, especially when something like this happens

I'm so tired of it, of having setbacks like this. I want my brain to improve. Given, I didnt sleep but things are no better this morning. Pretty nervous about that, tbh

Post Edited (Aerose91) : 6/14/2020 3:57:05 AM (GMT-6)

Could you be having an MCAS response to the allergens in the air this time of year? I try to be careful to shower after any significant time outside. (Assuming you took your walk outside.)

Have you been doing the DNRS practice? I think I remember you mentioning that you'd started doing it. Are you still in the first few weeks, when there can be an increase in symptoms?

I know it's so hard not to worry. Our bodies really keep us on our toes sometimes. Maybe your body is processing things differently right now, for better or for worse. Hope it all evens out ASAP!

saraeli said...
Could you be having an MCAS response to the allergens in the air this time of year? I try to be careful to shower after any significant time outside. (Assuming you took your walk outside.)

Have you been doing the DNRS practice? I think I remember you mentioning that you'd started doing it. Are you still in the first few weeks, when there can be an increase in symptoms?

I know it's so hard not to worry. Our bodies really keep us on our toes sometimes. Maybe your body is processing things differently right now, for better or for worse. Hope it all evens out ASAP!

Thanks saraeli. I am doing DNRS but I have a very hard time because I cant feel emotions. That's the centerpoint of my illness- inability to feel emotions, time, reality, connection- anything. The derealization makes that worse. What happened last night was just a hard an instant increase in those problems. I'm much further from reality now. It's so horrifying to not even know what's driving it

The pollen here has been bad. That alone wasnt what triggered it but it was keeping me more dissociated and spacey than normal. May have been an undrlying factor that helped set the stage. I tried doing DNRS today but I cant feel or connect to a single thought, memory or feeling. I'm sorry for complaining about this stuff, it's just so awful to live like this. You have been very helpful

I'm not eating fermented foods because I cant handle the histamines but I do take 1 or 2 probiotics per day. I'll stop for a little bit.
How quickly do you bounce back from overexertion? There have been times for me that took days. Some months or years, that's why this stuff scares me so much