Just don't know what to do

Sandyfeet, thanks for the kind words and for listening. That would possibly be an option. And might have to be the best option if she isn’t willing to get rid of them. Thanks for the suggestion.

Hi, MA10:

Likewise, I'm terribly sorry for all this additional stress placed upon you! As far as I'm aware, I don't have any mold allergy issues. However, after reading on this forum about the varied and profound effects the mold toxins can have on people, I can only imagine your disappointment and concern.

Based only on the comments you provided, my advice is to not put yourself into a situation you know -- or, strongly suspect -- is going to make you worse.

As you noted, there's no sense going through the extra time, effort, expense, physical exhaustion, stress, and, of course, negative health effects, to move into a shared space...if it's likely you'll have to move again in the near future. Plus, there's the strain that such a situation could place on your relationship with your friend.

Now, obviously, I don't know all the details. Financially, it sounds like your friend needs your assistance. Perhaps you could use her help, too. (No need to reveal those personal details.) If so, then that complicates matters. If not, maybe you have other friends with whom you can share a home.

Since you're willing to share expenses, though, the new place will be half yours, too. As such, you also have a say in matters -- especially since you're dealing with a chronic health condition. Otherwise, that could be a bad environment in which you're always at the mercy of someone else and may harbor anger and resentment. None of that would help your health, as you know.

Your concerns are valid and reasonable. If you and your friend can't come to an agreeable compromise (perhaps getting an agreement in a casual e-mail exchange, or even printing and signing an informal "contract"), then I would not move forward, regardless of your prior commitment. I'm sure your friend cares about your health and safety, so I suspect it's just a matter of framing the conversation in a way she'll understand and then giving her some time to absorb the discussion and reach a decision.

To summarize: Put yourself first!

I wish you the best of luck, both with the living situation and with your health.

Dude

First of all, I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. It's so terribly discouraging to be trying so hard and feel sabotaged by things left and right.

Your roommate could encase their mattress in a six-sided barrier, for about $40. I see no compromise for the sofa, though. Sounds like a crummy roommate, honestly, if they can't be respectful of your health needs.

If you do decide to move together, then you could invest in dehumidifiers to keep humidity below 60% at all time so mold cannot grow. A good air purifier (that filters down to 0.1 microns) (AirDoctor often has half-off sales) could help filter out mycotoxins and spores from your current place that might relocate with you.

How sure are you that the new place is mold-safe? I guess most places will be better than where you're living now, based on those scores, but rentals often are not maintained as fastidiously and so might be more of a risk. Is there carpet? Any water damage?

As for items you lack the time to clean, I'd recommend lots of trash bags and plastic bins. When you need something from one of them, then open its bag or box outdoors.

And wear an N95 mask to clean if you can find one!

It's a ridiculous and crappy irony that those of us sick from mold bear the brunt of cleaning it and preventing exposure, when we're already by definition sick!