Dreading going to the Doctors

ever since I gone to the doctors on multiple occasions advocating that I may have Lyme disease I was continually exposed to abuse from the nurses and doctors , I’d get criticized, belittled , patronized, they tried submitting me to a psych ward and everything. I am experiencing severe heart issues and I got an Echo done, they’re having me to come in , fear I may have Herat block, heart congestive failure or some other heart disease but.. I just can not pull myself together to want to go to the doctors. I am fretful of having to experience that abuse again from their malpractice and negligence . I fear of hearing they haven’t found anything.. I fear of them dismissing my claims when I speak on Lyme, all of it continuously hurts me. I try reassuring myself I can cure all my heart troubles with herbal medicine... but so far I’ve been having everlasting heart problems that haven’t been getting better and I’m on Buhner Lyme and Bartonella + Babesia Protocl, I suspect I have more co infections since I experience new symptoms all the time that’s why. I’d like someone to come with me to the doctors , a supporter but I have no one. I have no support system, no companionships or family members who’d be willing to or even care about what I’m going through. I’m dreading it all. I fear I might die. From heart block or something because my heart issues are worsening and have no clue on what to do. Hawthorn, motherwort Etc. They don’t help. I have heart palpations that go all through my body, I get muscle tension pain in my chest, I can’t even walk for like 5 minutes without having to stop because my chest and heart beet raises too high. I’m sure I have high blood pressure as well. I get pins and needle pain in my chest. My chest pain sometimes go to my back. The doctors are dismissive and tell me “ it’s anxiety “ when I go to the doctors repeatedly for blood pressure and it always shows high. I also get blood clotting a lot as well which the doctors say is normal. I feel horrible and feel like crying.

You're totally right that mentioning Lyme to non-Lyme-literate docs sends them into a tizzy and/or makes them think that you're nuts. You can get an echo without mentioning Lyme. These days you might be able to say that you developed heart issues after an infection, since that has been happening so much with COVID, but really you can just describe cardiac symptoms. High BP plus chest pain plus tachycardia is enough for most doctors to order an echo.

Something to consider based on your description is that you might have POTS, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. (That's common with Lyme and, once again, also COVID.) Does your heart rate increase 25 beats per minute or more when you go from sitting to standing? That could be POTS. It's fundamentally neurological, and it's treatable, and isn't dangerous except in the sense that it's limiting because you could pass out.

The emotional impact of being dismissed and belittled by doctors is something I think most of us can identify with. It's infuriating and demoralizing. I certainly avoid mainstream medicine whenever possible these days. If I feel like I need someone to know that my body doesn't behave in the ways they're used to, then I will mention my chronic fatigue syndrome/myalgic encephalomyelitis diagnosis, plus other specifics - mast cell activation syndrome, low immunoglobulin, POTS, etc. - and just avoid the keywords that make them flip out, like mold and Lyme.