Fear / Advice?

So, even with how sensitive I am, my dr. really wants to proceed with Babesia first, so I suppose we are going to do that. Then we are going to do mold later down the road he said. I did email him recently to ask why that was, especially since I’ve heard that mold is best to get rid of first, but he seems to really want to try this out first he said.

Anyways, we know that I have a Babesia and two strains of mold. I wanted to get on activated charcoal for the black mold and some form of clay for the gliotoxin. Again, he wants to do that down the road and give me specific ones for each toxin, but I am well aware of those are said to be the best ones for those specific issues.

With that said, I’m just really fearful right now. Like, mentally, I am, but also there’s that chemical fear inside of me. I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night, and my schedule is kind of all over the place so I’m trying to work on that, but I’m working on it. I believe my bladder (assuming my ADH is being messed with because of the mold, or maybe even Babesia) Simply cannot hold fluids for a long, so I am peeing about 16 times a day. I have 6-16 Oz water bottles that I drink every day, and I only drink reverse osmosis water because of my MCAS reactions. Anyways, I only slept from about 7 AM to 11 AM today. I’m probably gonna go back to bed after this post.

I guess I’m kind of all over the place with this. What do you do about the fear? I try to distract myself, but sometimes like this when I wake up and stay up, I get caught up in a circle. Everything always looks so dizzy to me it has for so many months now. I have such bad vertigo and loss of equilibrium that I feel like I’m falling off the bed when I’m lying down. Is this from Babesia? Should I just listen to my doctor and take the anti-parasitic?

We were going to start with A-BAB but I told him my concerns with strong herbs, so we are just going to start with Malarone by itself. What do you guys think of this? I’m just fearful that it’s only gonna hurt me and I’m not gonna feel any better. I feel like I’ve been doing this crap for so long. Ever since 2011 when I had my first panic attack and all of the changes that have occurred in the last 10 years, being undiagnosed and covering my up with benzos. It just sucks.

I’m just curious what people think of this treatment. Do you think it might be effective? Is my doctor doing the right thing? I can’t afford another doctor, because I need somebody who takes my insurance. They are also a LLND and his superior is a better known LLMD who was apparently trained by Horowitz.

This whole time I’ve been trying detox and evening under the sun to feel just a little better. I finally found the culprit and it’s that I’m allergic to everything. MCAS just broke out one day and I’m assuming that’s a huge part of my problem. Has anyone ever had this and still treated their Babesia/Lyme and actually got better? my doctor believes cheating Babesia will get rid of a lot of these issues. Is he right? I’m just worried. So many doctors of failed me over the years.

I hate feeling this scared. I hate feeling so much pressure in my body and how my body is always rocking. I’m hoping I see improvements soon enough. I’m really hoping that as the weeks/months go by, I can actually see real improvements. Please! Oh and yea, I’m reading “Toxic”, but I’m not sure what that’ll do for me under my doctor’s plan.

You guys are all I’ve got these days. So thanks in advance for your words. They mean more than most could ever know. Anything, especially advice is appreciated.

Thanks for the reply!

So my problem is, I’ve been dealing with chronic illness for so long, I’m afraid that even with treatment, I’m going to be resistant to everything. I don’t know if that’s just me, and I hope it is. I just feel like I’m going to start on this medication is going to make me feel terrible, and then I’m gonna move to tens of other medication‘s and feel no change. I know, I probably sound ridiculous, but I think it’s because I’m in the worst shape of my life . I just wanna cry right now. Fear!, Fear!, Fear! Is exactly what it is happening. I was actually just searching along Google and found that same exact thing before you even said it, so it’s really funny to me because it’s more than likely very true for me. Maybe it is but easier that is my biggest problem. Maybe I should trust my doctor. I just have such a hard time. We covered up my problems for so many years. I’m doing everything right, or at least I think I am. I’m eating healthy and everything, I just need to get my sleep under control. It’s 4:34 PM where I am right now, Eastern time. I wanted to try to hold out until about 8-9 PM and maybe fall asleep so that way I can get my sleep schedule back on track. I look at it like one bad night asleep versus the next few months, I can take the hit just one time, considering I’m always taking the hit every other day it seems lately.

With that said, I do appreciate your comments. Lately, all I wanted to do is steer away from what my doctor is suggesting simply because so many people say sensitive people like me shouldn’t be treating the Babesia directly yet. But maybe that’s my biggest issue. I’m not really sure. I do know for certain that the MCAS is causing me a hell of a lot of pain and sell maybe treating Babesia is the trick in getting rid of the MCAS. I only fear that it’ll make it worse and worse and won’t get better. :/

“ So, even with how sensitive I am, my dr. really wants to proceed with Babesia first, so I suppose we are going to do that. “

Well, if it helps you to hear this: my LLMD always treats Babesia first.
My llmd is very experienced/knowledgeable

And I didn’t find it too bad (the Mepron)