Odd question, reading comprehension and mental calmness

The more I learned about Lyme / co infections and all the symptoms, the more I realized my health was not right as a child either.

Throughout all the school levels/ grades, reading comprehension was a chalange. I could read well, but retaining it beyond one sentence at a time was difficult. So I had to read pages over. Because of this I absolutely could not understand how anyone could enjoy reading.

They didn’t understand these things in the 1970s, so the reading tutor saw nothing wrong with me. I think they knew what dyslexia barely was back then but I know I don’t have that, however I sometimes right numbers backwards , but a lot of people do this.

Once lyme was raging it was difficult just read one sentence and I went to a Lyme literate psych, who gave me a lot of tests that have been discussed on this forum before. Basically said my mental comprehension thinking, word searching etc. issues were common with those who had lyme.

They ironic part of all this, it’s funny- I was a specialized published sports writer for years, I had somewhat of an audience who liked my style. I flew through my college writing classes with ease, even though I didn’t read. That’s almost like a musician who can’t read music. That pretty much ended when Lyme got worse and really fried my brain.

So fast forward,It’s a lot better now but still to this day I do not like reading novels, or anything multiple pages in paragraph form. My comprehension speed is still kind of slow compared to average I think. It’s work, I will start daydreaming and then actually get sleepy, then get up and do something actually productive feeling like I was wasting my time.

And I must say I envy people who read novels. It clearly amazes me to hear that somebody will read a whole book in a day, let alone several weeks,I don’t know how that’s possible. It would take me so long I just don’t even bother, despite the point that it would be torture to my brain.

I bring this up since at Thanksgiving people were discussing books. And then there’s always these New Age doctors writing health information in the form of paragraphed books, which in my opinion is a marketing scheme so they can market it More like a novel, it’s longer that way. I’d much rather it be a workbook with bullet points.

Anyway this is me thinking out loud just wondering how many other people out there with or with all the mystery are like this.

I always have slight anxiety, meaning my brain is always thinking of multiple things, Including other things I could be doing instead of reading. I can only assume that there are many people out there like this, but still comfortably dive into a novel.

So the cause of this, then and now was/is probably multiple things. I don’t know what I had as a child although I do know my health was not normal. and I was exposed to ticks at young age. Maybe I had Hashimoto back then also. Its now well known that many people with Hashimoto, even with proper thyroid levels, have anxiety.

I can’t say this reading challenge stems clearly from anxiety either, I just don’t know. And the whole ADHD thing, or whatever else they call it nowadays, is one big argument with school age kids, so I don’t follow that too clearly, as no one can seem to decide if that’s normal or not.

Thoughts ???, Besides this is a long post, lol?

I was good at reading, vocabulary, and grammar. However, my reading comprehension was sub-par.

I remember the standardized tests in elementary school and beyond. I always struggled with the reading comprehension sections. I would think I was comprehending what I was reading until I got to the questions. I would be stumped by the questions and have to go back and re-read. I would try to read slowly, but that didn’t help. Either way, I had difficulty with the questions and often would run out of time with questions unanswered.

I was in AP English in high school, but when I took my SAT, I scored in the 400’s in reading and in the 600’s in math. My grades, however, were higher in English. I almost flunked Algebra III/Trig. Failed the mid-term exam.

In college, I did very well in English and writing critical essays and got a BA in English. I even had an essay published in the school magazine and won a plaque and $50 in a writing contest in which my professor asked to submit my work for consideration.

Daydreaming and mind wandering have always been a problem for me. If I was disinterested in or overwhelmed by the task, I would procrastinate as long as possible until pressure held me down. If reading something triggered thoughts of other things, my mind would run rabbit trails.

I did used to read books, but I have an aversion to it now. Oddly, I can spend hours reading on this forum and other things on the internet. One thing leads to another.

When I was still working, I would catch myself transposing numbers. It scared me, because my job was working with numbers! At that time, I was also starting to forget how to spell common 3-letter words like How or Who. My mind would go blank.

“I always have slight anxiety, meaning my brain is always thinking of multiple things, Including other things I could be doing instead of reading. I can only assume that there are many people out there like this, but still comfortably dive into a novel.”

Yeah. I can relate.

If you’ve read enough of my posts, you know I recognized signs of bartonella and babesia at a young age, once I knew what those things were.

I also had trouble talking. Still do, but it’s better now. If I get a psych herx or flare, it affects my ability to talk, mainly due to anxiety. I get revved up, irritated, and stutter.

I have a memory of about 2 years ago. It was during the time I was living in my car while still at the relative’s house. I finally called a local mold/Lyme sufferer I knew who I had only texted before. We talked for about 2 hours.

When I realized how long we had talked, I was shocked and also felt such a sense of accomplishment. A year or two before that, I would have trouble even making small talk if I ran into someone I knew. It would almost hurt my brain to carry on a conversation. I would also get fatigued easily trying to carry on normal conversation.

I do still have trouble with conversation at times, especially with my mother. If she starts talking while I am about to say something or interrupts me, I forget what I was going to say and get all flustered and irritable.