Hi, my name is Chelsie. I apologize in advance for how long this is going to be. I just really need help and I don't know what to do or where to go. I don't really have anyone to talk to. If anybody could give me some advice or encouragement, I would really appreciate it.
I'm a 21 year old female whose life has become a living hell. A little backround info on me: I first started getting migraines when I was nine years old. I remember the very first migraine I ever had. I honestly thought I was dying, it was horrible. The month that they started was a month where I grew three inches in a matter of weeks. My pediatrician chalked the whole thing up to hormones. To be safe, he sent me to a neurologist who did an MRI, which was normal. My neurologist put me on Amitriptyline as a preventive and Darvocet to take when things got bad. This round of migraines lasted about
three months and they went away as suddenly as they had started.
For years, I didn't have any problems. But when I was fourteen, I suddenly started having migraines again. My pediatrician once again put me on Amitriptyline and gave me a referral to a neurologist at Children's Hospital. I tried several different medications, including tryptans, anti-seizure meds, anti-inflammitories, and anti-depressants. My migraines this time around were much worse and much more frequent than when I was nine, and all of the medicines they tried either made my head worse, did nothing at all to help, or had side effects I couldn't tolerate. By the time I was fifteen, my migraines had become a daily thing. I had one all day, everyday. It made school incredibly difficult, and I was absent quite a bit. Because of this, the first neurologist at Children's thought that it was all psychological and that I was using migraines as an excuse to get out of school. This couldn't have been farther from the truth. All I wanted desperately was to have the normal life that a fifteen year old girl should have. I wanted to be able to go to school normally. I wanted to be able to learn and socialize and have a life other than one stuck at home in a dark, quiet room. I even went to talk to a psychologist. She wrote a letter to my neurologist saying that she believed that my migraines were very much real and not a school issue. But, my neurologist still didn't believe and said there was nothing more they could do except give me a referral to the headache clinic of Children's. The headache clinic was more or less the same, they tried on different medications, all of which either made things worse or didn't help. When I was sixteen, they recommended Botox injections. I was extremely uncomfortable with the idea and refused for several months. At this point, the headache clinic also started to believe that it was a school issue and pretty much said, "Well, if things were as bad as you say that they are, then you would be willing to do anything to make it better." This basically guilt tripped me into getting the injections, even though I knew deep down that it was a mistake. I turned out to be right. The only thing the Botox injections gave me was a burning sensation in the injection sites that made my head feel like it was on fire for three months. At this point, the headache clinic also told me there was nothing they could do for me and told me to go back to see my first neurologist from Children's. They did nothing to help me at that point since I wasn't a "typical migraine patient." Finally, when I was 17, I got so fed up with them doing nothing and telling me it was psychological that I just never went back. To add insult to injury, my own dad thought that it was also psychological and just an excuse to get out of school. At one point, he wanted to put me in a psychiatric hospital for it. My mom has been the only one to really believe how much pain I'm in.
I'm 21 now, and I hate my life. I have a migraine all day, every day that ranges anywhere from a 5 to a 9 or even 10. I spend most of my time laying down in my dark, quite bedroom. Eating and drinking is a struggle because of the nausea and vomiting. I have to take Phenergan daily just to be able to keep anything down. I barely graduated from high school, and I haven't been able to start college. I feel like such a failure for being 21 and having yet to start college or get a job. I have yet to find a neurologist who will help me. The last one I saw once asked me if there had been anything that had ever helped my head. I was honest and told him that prescript
ion painkillers that I was prescribed after a knee surgery helped my head and that for the first time in years I finally had some consistent relief. He immediately labeled me a drug seeking patient, even though I never asked him for painkillers. I'm honestly too afraid to ask anyone for the one thing that has ever provided with relief and allowed me to function normally. I am so scared as just being labeled as drug seeking, because I know what it looks like when a 21 year old asks for painkillers. No doctor believes how much pain I am in. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I have tried everything else. I have tried more medications than I can remember, botox, biofeedback, massage therapy, acupuncture, vitamins, natural supplements, OTC meds, special diets. I just want some relief. I'm tired of being in so much pain every day. I can't take this anymore. I want my life back. I want to be able to function like a normal 21 year old should
Post Edited (XXchelsieXX) : 6/29/2013 1:07:10 PM (GMT-6)