I'm back for a few days

I am sorry that It has taken mee so long to let everyone know what is going on with me.  Due to not feeling well this will be a rather short update.  I was not able to make it to Minnasota because I became very ill on the flight so on our layover in Salt Lake my husband talked to my doctor who arranged for me to go to the Mayo in Scotsdale.  I was taken to the hospital in Salt Lake and flown to pheonix.  After many tests and removal of the tumors in my stomach and kidneys and Bx of the tumors in my breast they determined that I have metastatic breast cancer that has now involved other organs and lymph nodes.  They started an aggressive course of chemotherapy and after two weeks of that and being so sick I have chosen to stop that.  I do not have Paraneoplastic Neurological Disease and did not find out much more about that except that is not the problem.  I have a  great team of doctors and they do think that MS is still a possibility but hard to say with the tumors in my brain.  I refused to have the brain tumors removed because of the fearof being awake while they are doing that.

My wonderful husband has gotton time off of work and has rented an apartment in Pheonix and my doctors said it would be ok for me to come back here for a week to make arrangements for care of our house and to pick up my kids.  My husband and kids are going to move to Pheonix until this is over so I can be with my kids but also get good medical care.  They said that I could stay in the apartment if I am doing okay and I would still be close to the hospital.  I have missed them so much and it was so nice to hold them.  I got here on Monday but Have been pretty weak to be on the computer much and have been trying to spend alot of time with my kids.  The older ones know and they are not doing well but I pray they will be okay.  I will be leaving on Tuesday to go back and then see what happens from there.  The doctors will discuss other treatment options and are really encouraging me to restart the chemo so I ahve been praying about that.  My enrgy is fading fast so I should go lay down but thought I shopuld let you all know what I have found out. 

Tiphanie

Hey Tiphanie!

Well i'm really glad to hear from u! I've wondered what happened and why i hadn't heard anything. Thank goodness u have a good team of docs and they've been able to remove the tumors they have so far. Are they going to do anything with the ones in u'r breasts or brain? I know u'r scared of the brain surg....i'd be too. Can they give u any med to relieve them or reduce them?? I'm also confused about the breast tumors. Seems like they'd be worse since it began there. Are they planning some sort of drug therapy? I'm so sorry u'r in this situation and i pray u will be well soon and can resume u'r normal life. It may take some time more before that happens, but hang in there. This will get better. Enjoy u'r time with u'r family and rest. Know we're here and in u'r corner and many prayers are going up for u.

rhonda

Michelle, Rhonda and Shar,
I am very sorry that I was un able to get ahold of anyone. I have been so sick and then I couldn't find what i did with your number Rhonda, I did however send you an email when I got home earlier this week, I think it was Tuesday. I thought I put in my earlier post but I didn't but I had a double mastectomy the first week I was there. Im sorry I am not thinking real clearly tonight and having a hard time typing.
Because this has spread so far it does not look very good but I am interested to see what other Tx options there is. The amount of chemo I had didn't seem to make ay improvementm and i was so sick. My thoughts in stopping the chemo was to be able to spend what ever time i had with my kids and husband without being that sick. I am still really sick but that was orible. I am however reconsidering the chemo now that i have been with my kids because not doing it is also not fair to them either but I am so glad I will be able to see them now and we wont be so far apart,
I am really having a rough time staying awake so i think i will stop for now and try later but thank ytu so much for the prayers and encouragement it is going to be a tough fight and know there is a place where people understand i think will really make adiifference. I think my husband will hook internet back up when he gets settled so when i'm there iwill be able to log on. Michelle i am soorry to hear that you had breast cancer but how encouraging to know that you came through it. Honestly how hardwas the treatment for you and how long did it take to get into remission. I know these are personal questions and i will understand if you don't want to answer and did you have lymph node involvement which i think i for got to mentio that but i had several of thoses removed as well hopefull they got all the ones affected.
tiphanie

Tiphanie, I am so sorry you are so sick. Good luck in whatever you choose to do. Lean on us and we will provide you strength, courage and hope!

Hey Tiphanie

I’m so sorry about the mastectomies. I know this is still such a shocking thing to u and u have so much to absorb and accept, but hold on tight and know u’r far from alone. We’re all here and will be here for u as much as u need us. I’m really glad u’r family will be moving closer. I know that will give u strength and help u make it. U’r right. Even the things u don’t want to endure are necessary for the sake of u’r children. They want u there and they hard choices u have to make, but know God is there and holding u up and will bring u thru this all. Look at all the wonderful people He put here in u’r life to help u make it. He really is in control and will not leave u’r side.

I’m sorry. I didn’t get u’r email, but I think I’m having some problems with that lately. I’ll email u and send u my numbers should u want to call. Don’t try to overdo things here. Spend u’r time and energy on u’r family. Take really good care friend and let me know if u need me at all.

rhonda

Everyone I just need to tell you all thank you and I really appreciate the prayers. I don't know how much I will be on in the next couple of days because I nedd to try to get up enough energy to get things taken care of before I leave on Tuesday. I can't tell you how good it has felt to hold my kids again. This is just a great place to come and thank you all for that and I will definately post before I leave.

Rhonda thank you for the encouraging wordsa and reminding me of who is really in control. I have a hard time admitting that because I don't want to give up that control but this is truly in His hands so I need to accept that. Yes it would be nice to have you number again. I know it is in my email somewhere but i cannot seem to fing it so thank yuu.

Pete thank you as well for your prayers and encouraging words. Please keep my kids in your prayers that they can have peace no matter what happens. Thank you.

BGD2Me thank you too and the choices seem to be as hard as trying to accept this. I will try not to lean to hard but am greatful that you all are here.

Uppitycats thank you and again making these choices is hard because it effects my kids and husband no matter what I choose. Right now my chose is to just spend the time that I have and enjoy every moment but then that becomes final and I pretty much have given up and that would not be fair to my children or husband if there is even a slight chance that the Tx will work.. All that to say as much as I would like to give up on Tx I can't because I need to fight for my children and husband. Thank you uppity.

Shar I wanted to say that yes I will see my pastor again. We plan on going to church tomarrow even if it takes forever to walk in I will be going tomarrow. My husband said he would carry if he had to but I said i need to walk into my Fathers house. And for my family and myself I will let the doctors do what they can.

Michelle thank you to for your prayers and I hope I didn't ask to personal of questions last night. I just wanted to know what worked for you and I think it's awesome that you survived it and can help others like myself. Thank you Michelle

It is time for me to go for now and spend time woth the kids before they go to bed. I will try to get back on today or tomarrow and i will try to make it to chat monday before I go. Thanks so much.

Tiphanie

I wanted to share that today was wonderful.. I went to church with my family and the worship and fellowship was so comforting. Being in the presense of the Lord gave me such peace. My pastor had the entire congregation surround me and they prayed.
Last night alot of worries and realization of how sick I am really hit me so I really needed this today. I started thinking about my kids and what if I don't pull through and I just lost it and then looked at my husband while he slept and lost it even more. Today helped give me some peace no matter what happens.
If the Symptoms that i have that resemles MS then I think it is flaring today I have alot of dizziness and am really off balanced and those terrible pains in my haed are bad today and my right arm keeps going numb.
So how is everyone else doing. I am sorry I have been so absorbed it what is going on with me that I have forgotton to check on everyone else, sorry. I am going to try to read some of the other posts and get caught up tonight and tomarrow before I go. Thank you!
Tiphanie

Tiphanie,

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you,