MS and Relationships

Hi all

I'm a newly diagnosed 27 year old female who's boyfriend left her after the first neuro appointment because he said "he couldnt help but think i could be a cripple one day and he had to factor that into the relationship".  that really hurt and tore me apart and now i'm too scared to mention it to new men that I meet for fear of them also running away, but i cant live my life a lie or scared or ashamed that I have a disease i did not ask for.

Apart from one bout of optic neuritis last year and a dead leg when i was 18, i'm perfectly healthy and noone would know i have MS unless i told them.  Has anyone else had relationship troubles?

 

Yes I have had relationship troubles. Mine was my husband. He decided 3 years in to my illness and 5 years in to marriage to have an affair and said it was because he could no long deal with my MS. WOW is all I could think. Now he wants to make it work and not sure I trust him but I stick it out for my kids. The reason I am telling you all this is so you can understand why I feel how I feel. I was scared to tell anyone also. I was 25 when I got diagnosed and scared. Then I realized hey wait this is me and tomorrow I could get hit by a drunk driver and die but I still go out side. I think the people who can't see past the "what ifs" are just making excusses they are insecure with themselves not you or your illness. There is always what ifs and you will meet someone someday that will love you for you and be with you good and bad. When you finally get married if you ever decide to get married its for better and for worse and some where there are still people that are true to that. I hope I helped you in some way. Don't be afraid and don't pass up a great man because of one who is insecure with him self. Be strong and remember you we all have struggles ours just has a name. I really hope I helped you please keep in contact.

God Bless
Lost and Lost ( I need to change my name to Lost and Found LOL)

Hi guys

thanks for your replies. i'm writing from Australia as i find the MS forum here is pretty rubbish and heavily moderated and posts moved etc.

i like the idea of the MS singles event, sometimes i feel like i should be with someone who understands but i'm not going to give up hope just yet as i'm still young and fun with many years left in me.

lost thanks for your reply, its nice to hear others situations, and i cant imagine what its like to have to endure a cheating husband and how dare he blame your MS, that would have infuriated me, you seem so strong!!

I was diagnosed at 28. I was lucky I was already with my bf for 5 years at that point and continued to be with him for 5 more. It was a huge choice for me when I broke that relationship off because I thought maybe no one else would want to go out with me but I couldn't be that selfish. I took the chance and I have dated a few guys since each for several months. If you have confidence and explain your illness they will have the same confidence in you. Some guys will pass you up and then you know they aren't right for you. The ones who date you are willing to take you on with your faults and accept your ms with it's ups and downs. I have just learned to be very upfront and tell of my ms right away. I hope this helps. I have actually dated more men with my MS then without so I do feel a lot is about confidence and just being honest. Good Luck! :)