Am I fooling myself to still have hope?

I've had chronic pain for the past 5 years. Most of the time, it has been my back. I've had numbness and tingling off and on in all my extremities, but not below the knee. Last year, I was getting headaches often. I went to my dr who advised me to see the eye dr. My eye dr found swelling of my optic nerve. He told me to have an MRI ASAP. I did. My Dr's office told me that nothing was found. I continued having back pain and on and off problems until about a month ago. I actually wet the bed one night. I wasn't able to sleep and walking made my feet hurt so bad. I went to the dr and she ordered an xray of my lower back, bloodwork, and an ultrasound of my legs. Two days later, I end up in the ER with horrible neck pain, numbness in my arms, chest, and skull. ER Dr took an xray of my neck, advised me to get an MRI, see a neurosurgeon, and sent me home with vicodin and prednisone with the opinion that I had a couple of bad discs in my neck and upper back. Went back to my Dr on Tuesday. Had more numbness, tingling, and pain. Hard to walk even a few minutes without sitting. My Dr started me on Neurontin and Flexeril and started tapering the prednisone. She assumed it was Fibromyalgia and ordered an MRI of my neck and brain to rule out anything else. Ins. Co denies MRI. Fast fwd to that weekend. Sunday night, another trip to the ER. This time, had a severed headache, rining in the ear, and numb skull. This Dr suggests MS. She gives me toradol for my headache and sends me home. Next day, back to my dr. I'm now numb in my throat. My dr goes over my symptoms again. Puts me back on the 40mg prednisone. In reviewing my chart, she sees that on the MRI done last Summer, in the report it says there was abnormal white matter, but that wasn't put in the summary. She calls the ins co on the spot and gets approval for the MRI. I ask her "Do I have MS?" She says "You might". I said "What are my chances". She says "I don't know. We need to wait for the MRI." I've done my research. I know the symptoms. I'm trying to hold out hope, but I think I know deep down.

ETA: I didn't mention that I've had horrible eye pain the past couple of days. When my Dr did the eye test, I couldn't look to the right and up without twitching. It was horrible.

Post Edited (crystallynn79) : 6/15/2010 5:08:34 PM (GMT-6)

I hope that you are alright. It is so frustrating in not knowing. But one thing I can say is never loose hope. No matter what your dx is never loose hope. I was laying the in hospital with several preforations throughout my intestines and the darn drs wouldn't do anything because most people don't live through this type of thing. Darn it I'm not most people. I survived 40 hours when most pass in 4 to 6 hours and I was driven by my husband to another hospital in horrible pain and dangerously low vitals, but I was determined to survive. Never loose hope. Our wills are stronger than any disease.