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Posted 9/15/2012 2:23 PM (GMT 0)
My name is jason I was diagnosed with m/s about 4 years ago. I met my soon to be ex wife online she was very overweight and unhealthy. I didnt care I loved her anyway I am a fit attractive male that takes good care of himself. When we got married she said she would stick by me no matter what m/s did to me. She got on my medical had gastric bypass surgery and lost a bunch of weight she now feels as if she is a model plus size still but none the less she thinks she is all that. I supported her while she failed out of school nursing school and watched her self esteem skyrocket to the point where she hatess me and was putting me down constantly. It really hurts I sat by her in the hospital 4 times last year because of health problems she refuses to take care of herself and lives on junk food and soda even though they told her that is not the way to be after surgery I was right there by her side the whole time and cannot believe she has turned into this person that once loved me well at least I think she did then told me the other week good luck finding someone to wipe your ass later in life due to m/s this really hurt. I think she has taken with a young guy he is only 21 she is 28 I am 36 I have a good job provided a nice home for her she paid nothing just stocked money away for the day that she was planning on leaving which was the other week. I just dont know what to do I am devestated my family would never speak to me even if she did come back I could not take her back she turned very evil I have been turning to god and asking for his help I just dont understand why this all happened o me I am a great guy good looking I wanted to have a family and a good life she ruined my dreams and how am I just going to get back out there and meet someone new I have this disease which really sucks even though you cannot even tell by looking at me that I have it. there is more but what I can say is I was never unfaithful or even thought of it I loved her with all of my heart then one day she just said there is no emotional connection no more sex no more even sleeping in the same room then she filed for divorce and moved out. Why am i such a nice guy and why did this all happen to me I am sure I will be in therapy forever trying to figure it out I am also going to divorce support group it is really helpful. Well any input is greatly appreciated as I know I am new here I need some friends I feel so alone and sad almost all the time and I am on meds too I could only imagine without them.
Posted 9/22/2012 2:52 AM (GMT 0)
jac92376,
Stop being hard on yourself. It sounds like you ex was selfish. Unfortuantly, there are a lot of women out there to just get what ever it is they want, and most of the time it is money. You will probably never know why and the true story behind it. Why did she say harmful words to you? Easy answer; it is easier to hurt you and make you mad than to have to keep calliing and wanting to see her. It's a cheap way of making a clean break in her cruel view. MS is devistating, but there is someone for everyone. It took me a while to figure that out. I was to the point I wanted to spend the rest of my life alone, with just my kids. I was 37, not looking for a relationship, not wanting a relationship, just wanted peace and harmony without the chance of the pain of being hurt. 8 years ago I met a man that became a very good friend to me. We became best friends, then one thing lead to another and since 7 years ago we have been in the most wonderful, (not perfect) relationship. Your ex wasn't "in love" with you. Why? Who knows. You have stated you are a good guy and have nice appearance. You will find someone when you least expect it. For me, I had to realize that I had been hurt many times in the love department in life and I made it through it, so I decided to give it another shot, knowing that if I got hurt this time, I would heal again. So how do you move on now? You wake up each day and put your pants on one leg at a time, brush yourself off (from feeling low), and hold your head up high. Do not let her see you hurt anymore. She will get what is coming to her oneday and you may be around to see or you may miss it, but it will happen. Focus on the positive things in your life and keep your mind busy doing other things instead of thinking about her. Time heals all wounds and just be open and honest in your divorce class; but don't take her back. you are just asking to be hurt again. she will run back when her little boy toy dumps her after he sees her true colors. You take care and put a smile on your face everyday this week for me! Why me? Because I have been there and know what you are going thru and how hard it is to handle all the emotions ontop of ms.
Posted 9/24/2012 1:55 PM (GMT 0)
thank you for your reply I am realizing that she is a terrible person and will get hers in the long run. I will pick myself up as I am doing dust myself off and just live my life if someone happens to come into it then great if not I will just deal with that as well.
thanks again
Posted 9/27/2012 1:26 AM (GMT 0)
hi, jason. i was browsing around in the MS forum and i saw your post. i haven't been diagnosed with ms myself but i've been diagnosed with other things, mainly fibromyalgia. i think i may also have ms, hence the reason i was in the MS forum. anyway, i was very sorry to read about your recent life happenings. a similar thing happened to me not once, but twice. i wasn't married either time, though, and i know you were. i can't imagine how much harder that would be. both of my break-ups were devastating to me. both men left me because of my health, even though they both said they would stay with me regardless. the first guy used me in his quest to marry another woman; he eventually did marry her, and then bragged about it to me. i felt very betrayed, and abandoned. i too feel like i am a nice person, and after each of the break-ups i drove myself nearly crazy trying to figure out why this had happened to me. i was in therapy for awhile, and i finally had to stop trying to figure it all out because i realized that i never really would. when these guys left me, it felt like i had lost everything and my life was over. my dreams of a husband and a family were crushed. i believe that people with health issues deserve to be happy and loved just as much, if not more, than anyone else. unfortunately, some people--my exes, and your ex wife--are just not strong enough to love good people like you and me. but jason, you will have a family and a good life--i believe that. and you have to keep believing that. and yes, your ex is going to get hers in the long run. she will have to answer for what she said and did to you. maybe not tomorrow, but eventually. (and so will my exes!) speaking from experience, you just have to take life one day at a time. and some days totally suck. and there are a lot of suck days in the beginning. but then some days are better. and then you have more better days. and then the suck days become the exception instead of the norm. :)
Posted 9/27/2012 7:50 PM (GMT 0)
thank you holly I am sorry for what you have gone through as well. I dont know what I would do without my family and friends to help me through this very tough time. I am not even 100% that she is with someone else but the amount of money she makes and all her debt it just doesnt add up so unless her already struggling parents which are divorced one paying for a new wedding and the other tight as can be are flipping her bills it just does not add up. Plus the child that she is with I know he is 21 but come on that is still a child in my mind I am 36 will most likely run for the hills when her health starts to fail and she fails out of school which she did last year due to her health and yes I stood by her every time and supported her even took off of work to see her. The kid is a security guard which is right up her alley her father was in the army then became a sheriff out mid west so I am sure that is in the plans she has always been daddys big girl she is not little even after bypass and will never be. I bet she has that kid joining the army and then going to become a cop or a sheriff I would place a wager on that one if she is really with him that is. I am having my own fun a good lloking ex moved back to town from out west we are nothing more than just friends but we were messing around in the bar the other day and fake kissed looked very real and I believe it is now up on social media web site that she follows. I know its evil and I get a kick out of it she thinks my world is over because her fat ass doesnt want me anymore think again pizza rolls thats what I call her I am going to bounce back m/s and all and get a way hotter nice girl that actually enjoys spending time with my friends and my family not siting there rolling her eyes every minute thiinking is it time to leave yet. I really think karma owes her a visit.
As for you I wish you the best of luck in all your problems the final sstep for me was lumber puncture and that is what told me I have it. I have been on two drugs one bad one good the one I am on is copaxon it is an every day injection but really easy you get used to it and it works really well for me but we are not all the same. If you ever need any advice or want to talk and be friends my email is [email protected] feel free to drop me a line but say hi its holly from the m/s board and it wont get lost.
take care and thanks again
jason
Posted 10/4/2012 11:42 PM (GMT 0)
I just joined today and read your story. I feel sad that such a women would just give up on u so quickly. Take some time away from a relationship such as I did for 5 years finding myself loving myself and learned to become independent and strong not dependent. Love truly exists and u will know when the right time will be. It's when u least expect it. I thought I'd never marry again but that true honest loving man came my way. I have been married now for almost one yeAr. I am 47 years old and have MS. Doesn't look like it but I feel 80 some days. I had nothing to hide from him and told him the very beginning when dating. He didn't care about it just me for me beauty inside and out. Boy do I have a story to tell. To make it short was rushed via ambulance 2007 as my heart was out of whack almost death. Had cardioversion to get heart back in sinus rhthym. No health insurance through work and they wanted to release me!!! I said no I will be back to ER. They kept me for testing had huge hole in heart, MS, menieres disease and cancer on back but still going. Stay strong
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