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Bad day and need to whine....sorry :(

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Posted 6/5/2009 7:13 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry friends, but I just need to whine today.  I'm having such a rough day and I can hardly stand it.  My stomach is very sore today and I'm very weak.  When I stand up I have a hard time standing up straight and I feel like I'm hunching over very bad.  I still haven't even showered today, I need to do it in a few minutes but I'm just dreading it.  I takes so much effort!

I'm also having a problem with the fissure I have, my butt hurts so bad I just dread going to the bathroom.  Yes, I know this is not the best topic to be sharing, but I just couldn't help it.  It's horrible!!

 

So to sum it all up, I'm tired, my back hurts, my stomach hurts, my butt hurts, and I have no energy.  Monday seems like an eternity away and I don't know how I'm going to make it till then.  I'm bored but I don't want to do anything because of the lack of energy and the pain.  Talk about a catch 22!!

 

Thanks for letting me whine, I'm afraid my family gets tired of hearing it.  They would NEVER dare say it because they love me too much, but crap, I think I would get tired hearing it.  I feel like that's all I do is whine and complain.  Thanks again for being my sounding board.  I guess I'm going to drag myself upstairs to shower and get "beautified."  Yeah....right....beautified, ha!!

 

Posted 6/5/2009 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
Well, I hope you have a better day, Amanda. I sure hope your afternoon and evening improves.

Getting beautified may make you feel better; but, I am in your boat (kinda) today. I don't feel up to taking my shower yet either. I May hang up the option of "attempting" to get beautified today...blah!
Posted 6/5/2009 7:59 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry you're feeling crappy. sad Hopefully, a hot shower will help. You might want to put a plastic chair in there, if you're too weak to stand for very long. Wiping with Vaseline on the TP might help soothe your sore butt. Do you have any pain medicine you can take to get you through until surgery?
Posted 6/5/2009 8:41 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks ladies...well, I went and showered and got "beautified" but it didn't help much. Luckily I have a little stool I keep in the bathroom so I can sit down and dry my hair and put my make up on. I didn't put much on today but I had to put a little on. My ex-husband is here from out of state, he came to see our son graduate from elementary to middle school and I have to see him tonight because he's leaving tomorrow and taking our son with him for the summer. I didn't want to look too ugly!! Even so I still feel horrible. My stomach is just miserable.

I don't even have any more pain meds and besides that just makes passing everything worse! So I guess I'll ride it out till Monday. It's not that long, right? That's what I keep telling myself.

Cecilia I do have some sort of prescription cream they gave me to put on my fissure and it helps a little but not a little. I got the fissure from straining to hard, now I know the reason I am straining is because the intesine is at a 90 degree angle. If I'd known that I wouldn't have bothered straining! Oh well, too late now. I just hope the fissure heals.

Ladies, I'm having a hard time distinguishing one surgery from another. I had the total colectomy and I don't remember how that felt because a week later they found that tear that had been leaking for four days and they rushed me to surgery again. Then I had all that pain from the infection I received. I really don't know or remember what to expect if they have to redo my anastamosis. It's not even the anastamosis by the rectum it's higher up, about six inches above the anastamosis at the rectum. Anyone have any guesses or knowledge on what to tell me to expect while I'm in the hospital next week? The anxiety is killing me...Any info would be appreciated. I sure wish I could distinguish between the two surgeries because my husband said I was doing great initially and that I was up and walking the next day before everything started going downhill again. Is he just trying to make me feel better and not be so anxious? Help!!
Posted 6/5/2009 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
We are hear to listen...don't worry about that! I hope things are a little better tonight:)
Posted 6/6/2009 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
Men don't usually sugar coat things, so I'd believe your hubby. Plus, they'll give you good pain meds, so you'll be feelin' just fine. wink
Posted 6/6/2009 1:33 AM (GMT 0)
Oh Amanda..I am so sorry you are going through all of this.  Try not to be so hard on yourself though ok?  If you feel crappy don't push yourself...just keep in sight that your surgery is only a couple of days away and that they'll get to the bottom of all of this and FIX it!!  You have been struggling for so long.  It's no wonder you have been feeling bad off and on since your reversal.  It sounds very painful.  At least now you know why you were feeling so bad off and on, instead of wondering what was wrong with you...the not knowing can be worse.  At least for me, I know, my imagination runs away with me and I think all of the worst case scenarios.  This is something that they can fix and have you back on your feet and pointed in the right direction (towards good health)!!    Monday is only a couple of days away so you hang in there my Friend!   {{{BIG HUGS}}}~~~~~Cheryl
Posted 6/7/2009 3:57 AM (GMT 0)
Well since you all said it was ok to whine I'm going to whine some more. I am MISERABLE!! I've been feeling horrible all day. I'm so impatiend for my surgery on Monday, why can't the time go by any faster? I wish I could turn the clock forward! I start my liquid diet tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to that. I want to skip tomorrow and just go right to surgery on Monday. I guess I ate things I shouldn't have today but now it seems no matter what I eat it all gets stuck at the kink. That's what's making me so miserable. On top of that my back is killing me! What else could go wrong? Nevermind, I know the answer... I've had it all happen, remember?

I guess I should try to go to sleep, then tomorrow will be here and it'll be another day closer. I don't know what else to do. I'm miserable, bored and restless. Not many people posting this weekend I notice. I guess that's a good thing. Maybe everyone is having a great weekend. I sure hope so!!
Posted 6/7/2009 4:32 AM (GMT 0)

I know it seems like Monday will never come but you are almost there.  Pretty soon you will be fixed and back doing the things that you love best.  Try to think about how far you came after all you went through with your previous surgeries.  You were amazing!; You started a new business and you were so successful.  The pain, prep and the waiting all suck but always know that we are all here for you and we will be praying for a successful surgery as well as recovery.

Hang in there, it's almost Monday.

((((((((Hugs)))))))))

Judy

Posted 6/7/2009 2:10 PM (GMT 0)
Amanda,

Start counting down the HOURS now - less than 24 right?  You can make it girl...  And after the surgical pain, you will back on your feet - Running.  Heck with the walking stage!!

Hang in there, thinking of you this morning (my issues have not totally resolved yet either - whine).

Posted 6/7/2009 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear that Peggy! You can whine to me any day!! I just wish you weren't having these problems... Yeah, ALMOST 24 hours, I have to go to the hospital at noon, so that's the time I'm counting down by. Do I have OCD or what? hahaha! Could not sleep last night and that fissure I have is killing me, I'm definitely not looking forward to taking those dulcolax tablets at noon today. I'm really gonna die then!!

Thanks for your support Judy! You all are just amazing. I can't tell you how comforting it is to know I can come here for the most amazing support anywhere. You all truly understand what it's all about and what we're all going through. Thank you for being such a tremendous source of strength. I love you all!
Posted 6/7/2009 3:00 PM (GMT 0)
ONE MORE SLEEP AMANDA!!....soon your surgery will be behind you and there'll be no stopping you!!  Prep day today??  YUK...I hope it's not too hard on you!!...Gets lots of relaxation today, and maybe some good laughs (watch a comedy or two??)....Before you know it you'll be feeling SO much better!  Love ya my Friend!~~~~Cheryl :-)
Posted 6/7/2009 4:15 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Cher, one more sleep it is!! I'm definitely going to relax, and also getting a blessing today. As far as a comedy, unless I go rent a movie I doubt I'll watch one. Sunday tv isn't very good. I will definitely be watching the NASCAR race today and that takes four hours so I can check four hours off my countdown! Yay! I'll probably be bored the rest of the day and will be checking in here a lot.

Yeah the prep is a light prep. Only liquids, cottage cheese and yogurt for me today. 2 dulcolax tablets at noon and an enema in the morning. I've definitely had worse and I know you all have too!!
Posted 6/7/2009 9:05 PM (GMT 0)

Amanda,

I'm watching the race too; seems like that's all I do is watch tv.  My daughter asked me if I was sick of watching it.  Can't do much else, still have lots of pain from c diff and kidney, so I can't really sit.  I have pillows stuffed around me and when I lay down I have to lay partially on my side, this has been going on since May 7th so I know how you feel when you feel like crap.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers throughout the night and tomorrow.  I hope your prep is going ok.

Hang in there it's almost Monday!

Judy

Posted 6/8/2009 12:47 PM (GMT 0)

Thinking of you and praying for the best outcome.  ope to hear from you soon.

Hugs and love,

Judy

Posted 6/8/2009 1:00 PM (GMT 0)
Amanda,

You made it to Monday! I'm thinking about you and praying for you, your family, and the doctors.

Love, Cece
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