This will be my last thread.....I'm no longer necessary...good bye!

Well, Im still alive and kicking.  This is the one time in my life I didn't mind failing at something!  I just typed a rather long post, but my computer crashed, so now I'll make it short and sweet!

'Recently a very close family member died.  My job as director of sales for a software company was eliminated.  I was also dealing with the 1/4 % of the time I was feeling sorry for myself for the crappy physical hand I was dealt!  It was the perfect storm of negative emotions!  Plus, to make matters worse...I had one screwdriver,,, then another, then another!

My "plan" was to go in garage, turn 2 of my Corvettes on, and go to sleep forever.  However, wifey had both sets of keyes for one of my Vettes, and 2 hours after turning my '98 red convertible on( which, by's the way is @#$%ing gorgeous, but that another story!) I woke up!

So, I drank a bunch of vodka, took about 10 or so painkillers, thinking that would do the trick.  Well. it didn't...and I'm glad it didn't!

Hey, life throws you a curve ball every once in a while, and I @#$%ed up!  Please forgive me, because it's now obvious to me that many do, in fact, care about me!  You'll have to excuse me, because I now have a serious hangover, and I really need to get some sleep!

I just wanted to let all of you who resonded know, though we've never met, I will love you all forever!!!!

Mike

great to know you are ok!!!
and that a hangover is all you have to deal with today!
let us know if you need us!

HEY VG,

So good to hear from you!!! Chin up, partner... you can accomplish anything you want. You know that from experience... look what you have accomplised so far in life...

We are all here for you.

Mike,

So glad to hear from you!  Will keep you in my prayers.  Life WILL get better. I always think of things in baby steps, not by leaps and bounds, I hope this will give you some encouragement:)

Peace and prayers,

Judy

thanks for the post Cecilia...I've been out for a few hours and just got a chance to check



Well, I just turned to page 2 (duh) and YAY!! Mike we are so glad that didn't work out the way you thought...Thanks for posting to let us know you are still here

Post Edited (OHIO76) : 11/11/2009 1:46:11 PM (GMT-7)

I am thankful that you are alive today and am hopeful that you realize your worth.  A layoff is devastating and life altering but please try to see that what seems hopeless today will be a bad memory a few years from now.  When God closes a door he opens a window.  You might not be standing close enough to the window to benefit from the fresh air or the view but it's there nonetheless and you will eventually reap the benefits.

 

Please talk to your wife immediately and then go see your doctor.  This isn't something you should be dealing with alone.  Even if your layoff alters life as you and your wife know it, think about her left dealing with an altered life and no shoulder to lean on to help her through it and a lifetime of wondering what she should have done to change things.

 

God be with you on your journey ahead back to a healthy place.

 

Heather

Hey Mike,
Just wanted to give you a (((hug))) and let you know I'm thinking about you!
Cecilia

Hey VG,

How's the head today?  I bet you had a doozy of a headache. 

I am going to chime in on the idea that you try some "happy" pills.  My husband never took any drugs, until he was diagnosed with ALS in March of '08.  They gave him 2-5 years at that time.  We went thru quite a period of darkness, and then I convinced him to listen to me and the doctors and give antidepressants a try.  It is amazing how well they work, WITHOUT feeling like you are on a drug at all.   He has even asked the doctors to up the dose one time since he started.   THey make the day to day coping a whole lot easier, for hiim and for ME!  I too started them, long before he did.  So, you see, I can speak from experience.  Maybe you only will want to try them short term... to help get over the bumps in the road.

So, what have you been up to?  I saw where your area of the country got quite a bit of rain lately.  Have you been affected by it all?

Hugs to you,

Peggy

 

flchurchlady said...
Hey Mike,
Just wanted to give you a (((hug))) and let you know I'm thinking about you!
Cecilia

Right back at 'ya, Kiddo!!!!

Oh and too farm, cece, dont forget he should come farm.
Really, its a wonderful stress reliever, lol.

There are also tons of corvette websites that might want mods and admins to help out. Doesnt pay, but i assure you it would keep you busy. Being an Admin or a mod is a handful, lol.

Anyway, glad to hear from you today, and keep posting and keep talking, and we are here if you need help. (BTW, if i sounded mean in my orignal post,im sorry, im all about some tough love though, and i only do that cause i care.)

Hey Mike,
Welcome back. You were meant to live, I hope you got that message from all the methods you tried that failed and all the responses you got on here. I tried the car gas thing myself. (My condensed story for you: I had what turned out to be unneeded pelvic floor restoration sugery including sigmoid resection. No disease just incomplete rectal emptying from some unknown issue. At the time it was misdiagnosed as a loopy sigmoid. (Did not know of the misread of the scan at the time obviously), so when the docs were in there they did a total of 7 procedures, many unconsented, many unrelated to incomplete rectal emptying, saw the sigmoid was not loopy and removed it anyway, did a bladder lift I didn't need as I had no bladder prolapse. PRocedures for dollars.) Result: colon scarred in narrowed to 4 millimeters where they removed the sigmoid, colorectal surgeon didn't address it. Pelvic muscle scarred that lets the rectum straighten to poop result: rectum couldn't straighten like it could prior to surgery. Got small bowel obstructions if I ate anything because 2 loops of small intestine were stuck in 3 inches of scar tissue. Had to see 11 docs at 7 medical centers over 13 months, all while unable to eat. Mayo CLinic said I was too damaged to fix. Wrote in my records to keep using my nutrition tube that I never had. (Lots of covering up by lots of docs with this issue.) Tried to gas myself. COuldn't stand the smell. Just wound up with elevated CO2 levels and a HUGE headache for 3 days. Then I found a doc to get the small intestine out of the scar tissue and a permanent ileostomy. Was great to eat, gain weight, and poop however I had to do it. Hope I don't ever reobstruct from scarring again. Then I went on a world cruise and several other cruises. Plan to head to South America this winter. Am suing the butts off of my original surgeons. Unknown to me at the time, though I did check them out with our state med board who did not tell me of all their past suits, I am their 8th suit. Many for overly invasive surgery, ignored post-op complications and patient deaths. This was not needed surgery gone awry; this is out and out medical malpractice on purpose. One of my friends said I am the one who had the time and the money and the research skills to get these guys to STOP! I hope I can. So Mike, you like I have a mission. Just gotta stay off the booze, my friend, NEVER HELPS! I never turned to that but know from others it's not the answer. With an ileostomy, I have a built in safety net against drinking, alcohol gives me severe ileostomy diarrhea. Not anything I want. Glad to see you back, Rosemary

Just figured out the 2 part. Wow it all sounds good. God bless.

flchurchlady said...
Hi Mike,

Hope you're doing well today. I was thinking about something I did when I was in between jobs last year, and that was to get a 10 week old German Shepherd puppy! He kept me very busy and was really good company while my husband was at work. We would play frisbee in the yard or go for long walks around the neighborhood. He's been a great addition to the family and always keeps us laughing. By the time I got another job, he was potty trained and able to be home alone and guard the house. Just a thought, in case you and your wife are dog lovers, like us!

Cece

Thanks for the advice, Cece. But, Wilma, our 5 year old Collie ( that we rescued from an abusing family 3 years ago ) is all I need.  But, believe me....I'm fine now.  My problem wasn't that I was layed off and I was worrying about money; or that I was bored with my life.  The problem was that I felt unecessary!  To me, that's got to be the worst feeling of all! 

But, thanks to many of the posts here, it's apparent to me that I'm NOT unecessary.  As a registered visitor with the United Ostomy Association (when I lived in NY), I know I've talked a few people "off the ledge" many times. I don't know what they're doing now, bit I hope I've made an impact! 

Cece (and many other here)- I wish there was private messaging on this forum.  There are many here (including yourself by far), that I would be priveledged to meet in person; and have over my house for a long weekend. I'd gladly pick up the tab.  You are the cream of the crop!!!! 

 

LOVE !!!,

Mike