Is it normal to feel really depressed after having an ileostomy?

It's perfectly normal :) A lot of new ostomates feel that way and find they may need an antidepressant for a few months to help them get over it.

It's part of the grieving process - but instead of grieving for a relative or friend, you're grieving for lost body parts. Sounds strange but it IS normal.

You WILL get through this - just ask your doctor for an antidepressant to help you.

sending hugs...you will get through this...it is normal to need a little help after such a major surgery.

I've been terribly depressed.  If you click on my name you can see my previous posts.  I'm trying to work past it, but I'm really struggling.  Talked to the shrink and am making medication adjustments, but that can take awhile to have any impact.  It's bound to bet better.

It's completely normal. I had to go on Lexapro, but since Bipolar runs in my family I had to stop taking Lexapro because of the side effects.

Once I figured out how to master putting on the appliance, my depression went away. Then I figured out I could eat whatever I wanted to again. I went on a Fruity Pebbles streak for a while eating nothing but that because it was awesome.

Hi Gilda,

Glad you posted. No you did not offend me. I came home from another trip, got your message, had to do 2 more weeks of work for my case, then went off visiting again. Look at me, I'm never home.

My advice:

1. Rejoice that you feel so much better physically.

2. As you know, I had to get the ileostomy (2007) to save my life from the life-threatening amounts of internal scarring of my rectum, colon, pelvic floor, and small intestine result of what turned out to be unneeded surgery 2006. Because my small intestine was literally trapped in severely dense scar tissue that eventually my ileo surgeon was able to free, I still face the threat of possible small bowel adhesion obstruction. So far so good since 2007, but living with that threat daily is REALLY TRICKY! That is the part that severely depresses me all the time!

If I did not have the threat of reobstruction due to all the adhesions, I would not be at all worried about having the bag in and of itself. So count your blessings that you don't have possible adhesion regrowth to worry about.

3. Think of Lizzie having her guts so scarred together that she had to have some G-J tube for enteral feedings. Good grief, she's only 29! auuuuugh!

(I'm using a little "tough love" here Gilda, How am I doing?

Guess what I'm saying is, enjoy your new found health, then think of those worse off than you or who face potential to be worse off, then cherish every day. There's nothing else you can do.

My big depression issue is that in 2006 unneeded surgery was done to me, beyond consent, then the diagnosis turned out to be wrong, almost died because of it, had trouble finding another doc to bust down the White Coat Wall of Silence and save me the best that could be done. My story IS more depressing, as without the unneeded 2006 surgery, I would not even be an ostomate. BUT, there's nothing else I can do either but just accept and move on. Hence all my travel and ballroom dancing. You can't just stay around home and think about it or it will drive you crazy.

As you are now not tied to your bathroom, enjoy your freedom and go out and volunteer a bit like Hodaya is doing. Call up friends and get together. Go shopping or even just for a walk everyday. Take a trip. Also do ask about an antidepressant for the short term if behavior mod doesn't seem to work at this point. It could just be you may need it for a year or so. Maybe see a counselor too for a short while. Bottom line is acceptance, but these things may help. Remember, we are all basically in the same boat. You are not alone, and there are others worse off like Lizzie, Peltz, and a few others.

As I remember, you live in San Diego? Enjoy NOT living in Massachusetts this winter I have over 9 feet of snow piles in my front yard. We have had storm after storm. Roads icy. Not getting out walking is getting to me. Packing up now for a trip to the Bahamas.

Best of luck. Post more often; this board really helps. We just sort of "talk" back and forth with eachother through our postings and it really helps. Feel free to email me: [email protected]. I did a whole separate post to you under your name giving you my email address but I guess you didn't log on until it got pushed back a few pages.

I'm more into emailing than talking on the phone. Just the way I am, among my other idiocyncracies

I know I did not spell that right Anyway, great to see you posting Gilda. Keep posting. Hope my ideas help.

Good luck, Rosemary

Gilda -- I bet it is for a lot of people. But....try to somehow accept it. I think it was suggested......make a list of all the positive changes that have come about (and there are many) due to the surgery.

It isn't a lifestyle change anybody really wants when it gets right down to it, but to be out of that pain, discomfort, urgency, frequency and accidents for some people and now have control back in your life is ever so important.

I understand it is different for each and every person depending on the support you may or may not have. Hubby has it easier in that it affected him so late in life and he has me. But even at that he has to deal with this new way to live.

Please focus on the positive, get some help with medication or counseling if you need it. There are so many people out there who are so ill, terminal or whatever who would change places with you in a heartbeat which is something I have said repeatedly to my husband also in conversations. He doesn't need (at the moment) a lot of pep talk from me but I take the opportunity whenever I can when it is appropriate to mention positive stuff too and how it has made such a difference in our lives already.

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Gilda,

I was just thinking of you the other day!!!!! No you did not offend me, then I looked at the date on the post. There were no messages on my machine at that time. Anyway, so cool that you posted.

I have to tell you after 4 years I FINALLY found a post traumatic stress syndrome counselor who is helping me greatly! As you remember my ileo was what saved my life so it's not the ileo I'm depressed about, but the original surgery by the original surgeons it was later discovered was not even needed. SO that is the source of my depression. BUT I am still traveling and dancing. It is REALLY cold where I live but I bundle and try to force myself to go out every day. There are TONS of diseases going around so I am trying to stay by myself and busy with house chores. But the actual ileo was my life saver so without mine I would be 5 years dead by now. As long as I don't get any adhesion reobstructions I will count myself lucky. So far so good and it has been 4+ years. I have gained weight and have a peristomal burn and need a convex wafer. That is the worst I'm dealing with now. I am also working to eat mini meals and check my salt and potassium balance.

If you take valium for sleep, do know that it diminishes the serotonin in the brain which then leads to depression. I think we are supposed to be on a seratonin reuptake inhibitor like Celexa or whatever. THOUGH zoloft and paxil now have class action law suits about them due to side effects. Seems like getting out and getting exercise and having our own body systems take over (exercise stimulates the feel good hormone) is the best thing to do.

Glad to hear from you. What a coincidence as I had just been thinking of you. Do know we have a few board members who have sort of not posted in awhile and they are not doing well!!! They are young and my heart goes out to them. We are in our 50's (not that we should have to deal with ileo's and such either) but we are alive and I am just more and more thankful I had my youth time all totally healthy. I really feel for these young people. Sheds some perspective.

ANyway, these are my thoughts to help you. Post again. Rosemary

I'd never been depressed in my life. But those first few months after my colectomy were the worst I've ever been through. It was awful, sometimes I didn't feel like speaking to anyone and kept thinking I'd never be normal again.

It's hard to see a light when you're in that dark place. It does get better, it just takes time. I'm the happiest I've been in years now. With no more chronic illness to deal with - life is good!

In my husband's case it was right away as he was so ready for the surgery and eager to get on with life. He went through so much for 5 years (like everyone else does) and since this was his choice he made peace with it insofar as the acceptance of it I guess. I wished he had the surgery sooner but it had to be when he was ready.

He said just yesterday...if he was told today that they could reverse this and do the pouch that he was initially hoping for he would not. He has accepted this and it has become a "way of life" now. He would not want another surgery, recuperation, adjustment etc. and potential problems down the road due to his age and knowing his anatomy wasn't really conducive to a pouch in the first place. So he is content to keep things the way they are and not a person to be thinking about "what could have been". (It is not a possibility anyway for him under any circumstances due to the total proctolectomy but he was just saying...what if)

I am sure it is more difficult for others depending on the situation, your age etc to be so accepting. But I do hope each and every one of you at some point depending on the hand you are dealt that it does become easier not only physically but emotionally as well.