Surgery

My surgery is set for the 24th.  An bag, (not sure of the proper name), for at least 12 weeks.  Really nervous.  I just don't want to be embarrassed or ashamed in public.  Although, I can't imagine worse than what I have gone through so far without.  How is it dealt with?  Does it show???  Ugggg.  Thank you

When you have some time go through some of the different threads here as there is so much information shared by so many that I think you will be a lot less anxious after you read some of them.

This is a great place to come to get answers, support and understanding.

7 weeks ago my husband had his permanent ileostomy and like Christine says this is major surgery but with each passing day you feel better and better. The pain and discomfort gets less and less each day which you cannot say for the suffering you have been enduring prior to surgery.

He just left the house to go get the mail and take a walk...should be gone for 1/2 hr or so. 7 weeks ago he couldn't even take the chance to walk 1/2 block without having a rest room nearby!

Try not to worry too too much - the important decision has been made for the surgery and everything else will fall into place.

Even if it is only a 12 week situation you still need to approach this as well informed as possible on what to expect and how to change and empty the wafers, pouches etc.

Before the surgery hubby and I went on different manufacturers websites to learn as much as we could and also on you tube believe it or not there are wonderful people demonstrating and showing how to change and care for the bags. It took all the mystery away and by being so informed it was not shocking at all as we knew exactly what to expect. I truly feel this is a good way to approach this to take away alot of the anxiety.

Hubby took to it very well and has adjusted easily to it. Actually you have to, so it is easier on yourself and psyche to accept it and deal with it especially when it is a permanent situation. In part...this forum and another one has definitely played a big part which helped me to help him make it easier too.

He suffered too long - had no life - and it is time to make up for lost time and get back to enjoying life which is what he intends to do and is doing. Good Luck!!

I had permanent ileostomy surgery in November. I cannot see my appliance under my clothing at all unless it is something really sheer and tight. Now that I am three months out, I wear all the same pants and shirts as I did pre-surgery. At first, my surgery site was sore so I wore baggy stuff. The key to being able to wear you normal clothing is having your stoma put in a good location.

I am lucky in that I have only had one leak since surgery (due to drainage from my incision getting under my wafer) so I was pretty confident and comfortable going out in public right away. It was more exhaustion and pain from surgery that kept me home for a while. The hardest thing for me was getting efficient at changing the appliance. It took me so long at first and I got very frustrated, but now I can do it in 15 minutes.

It is a difficult surgery physically and psychologically, so you just have to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to be a bit scared and unsure sometimes. I was excited for my surgery and still had a period of time afterwards where I grieved the loss of my colon pretty hard. I just took it day by day. However, I feel so much better now and have no regrets.

it won't show, i promise!!! i've had mine for almost four years and the few people i have told have been, like what? for real? one lady didn't even believe me! I still wear the same clothes.
When you wake up in the hosptial you will have on a clear bag, and your output will probably be bright green, do not worry it will not stay like that! and you can get a bag with a cover, so you don't have to look at it! that freaked me out to no end!

The hospital will outfit you with what they commonly use and depending on your stoma if you need a flat or convex wafer. It will be a little trial and error to determine what works best and what you feel the most comfortable with.

Hubby has the Hollister New Image 2 piece set up and the only thing we have changed is going from the drainable pouch with the clamp to the drainable pouch with the lock and roll velcro closure that he likes better.
These pouches also have the filter which doesn't work and last as long as you might use the bag itself for. So far no leakage or problem with them. We are currently trying to decide if we should order the lock and roll pouches without the filters next order. He needs the convex wafer and also uses either an eakin or adapt ring which has worked very well.

We have samples of the moldable wafer from Convatek and have not tried it yet.

If you have someone who can also observe and learn the process to assist you that will be a big help. AFter discharge we had a total of 11 visits from a home health nurse to check on his incision healing, vitals and basically observe the changing of the wafer to make sure he/we were doing it correctly. In the beginning the nurse did most of it and I assisted as it was easier for him to lay in bed that first week or so. He basicially does it all by himself (with a little help from me as his back is quite tender as it kind of went out of him during his recovery) still but that won't be necessary forever.

After you heal and feel stronger and so happy to no longer have all the pain and discomfort the UC gave you, you will find that it is easier to accept and adjust to then you thought.

As I have said...really do as much research as you can before the fact to best prepare you and your mind so it is easier on yourself ultimately.

tia
It is not totally true than nobody will know you have a pouch. Another person that is an ostomate might pick up the signs, only because they know. A slight rustle from the bag will go unnoticed except possibly to one of us. Same for the slight bulge from gas. Just wear loose clothing and you will be fine. I saw a guy at a flea market that was wearing a tight tee shirt. It looked like he had a gun under his tee shirt......but I knew better.

Dan

dan makes a point, if i saw something like that under someone's shirt I might think, oh an osotmy, but before i had one i never walked around looking at peoples stomachs saying, hmmm i wonder if they have an osotomy?

You will be much happier! Don't worry about being afraid, its normal, you should be scared! if you haven't been marked for your stoma yet, when you go wear your normal everyday clothes, and be sure its marked at a place you are good with, i know it was already mentioned, but location is a huge deal!
and take some gas-x to the hosptial, lol it will be your friend!
good luck!

Unless I tell people I have a stoma no one knows I have one, I wear skin tight jeans and tops but make sure they are ones that have small amount of stretch in them. I was lucky my surgeon is very considerate where he has placed my stoma as I am very tall with high waist and made sure it was high enough not to be uncomfortable when I crouched down but low enough so would not interfere with waistbands.

Even when I had to have it resited onto the left side due to abcess round original stoma he apparently spent good 15 mins deciding exactly where to put it during the op (at the time of op it was emergency and as scans at that time 16 years ago not very good didn't know how bad abcess was). Bless him he also makes sure he always cuts around my tattoos so they remain intact as well even though it makes it slightly more involved for him.