to get or not to get!!!!!! The bag

I have had chrohns for like 10 yrs.  I have been having lots of problems with my chrohn's.  I am on humira right now with lots of over the counter vitamins.  I just got out of the hospital where they had to put a ng tube in me.  I love them and hate them at the same time.  Sick of going to hospital for this d/d.  I am trying to weigh out the pros and cons.  I just want to be kinda normal.    Being single, with a bag does not sound to attractive. 

I was single when I got my ileostomy at age of 20 for crohn's. TBH best decision I ever made, it gave me my life back and as for dating etc made no difference. I met my husband 2 years later and told him on our first proper date, if he was going to run with shock didn't want to get too attached to him, and he wasn't bothered at all. The other boyfriends I had in those two years were not bothered either, so don't worry about that.

However, only you can make the decision, you have to think about how your life is at the moment and whether you want to continue living like that or whether you have got to the point of having enough of the bathroom dash, pain, lack of life etc. Having the bag is just as much a mental decision as well as a physical, to me it has never been a big deal. I can see where you are coming from by saying being single with a bag is not attractive but then again rushing to the bathroom and being in pain aren't all that sexy either so it is really if you can view it as a positive and not a negative. Gaining your life back as opposed to allowing this illness to rule you.

All my friends and colleagues know, not embarrased by it as it allowed me to live my life again. Good luck with whatever you decide, only you will know what is best for you.

I agree... definitely consider getting it!! Life without Crohn's and all of the medications is incredible, plus nobody can tell that I have an ileostomy. If I knew then what I know now, I would have done it years earlier!

I am not one to go all pollyanna -- I would have preferred to never have Crohn's, absolutely no doubt about that .... but also don't forget that dealing with a chronic illness gives you strengths, maybe not the same ones for everyone, but certainly the people who get it young tend to have to become more mature than most of their peers, and often people learn a kind of compassion (i.e. to avoid saying all the stupid things that people are talking about on another post), and humor comes with it for many people too...... so, you might just be seeing the negatives.

I think one of the most surprising things for me about meeting the right person was that some of the things I considered faults were actually features.... i.e. I thought I talked too much about past hurts, but my partner had ex's that wouldn't talk at all, so liked it that I did this....

I think that anyone who likes you a lot but finds and ostomy bag a deal breaker is probably not a good person to be with anyways....

But you do have to be well enough to do something besides go to the bathroom and sleep.....

Do make sure you discuss the what ifs good point! But also remember they are gonna tell you every single bad thing that can happen, for liability reasons that doesn't mean those things usually happen!

Chico -- good luck. You will know when the time is right for you. My husband suffered (and me along with him) and held it off as long as he could and just reached the point of being sick and tired of being sick and tired.

When you are younger you certainly even have more things to think about and more thoughts flooding your mind. But it can't be said enough times......your quality of life is so important.

The only suggestion I do have is... it is certainly easier when you are not in an emergency situation and if you can get it under some kind of control when you are having surgery when you are stronger and possibly off prednisone to help you heal faster can really make a difference post op. Lots of times people do not have that opportunity.

Good luck to you!

One of my concerns is showering.  I remember when i had my bag, back in 05.  THey do not seem to stand up to water.  Let me know how to prevent them from working away from your skin while showering?  Help me  make my decision.  I do appreicate all the feee back.  I do have time to way out all of my options.  Again Thanks. bw.

I've had my ileostomy since 1992 and never had a problem with showering or spending all day in swimming pool or water park and having the bag peel off. Never used any additional adhesive seals on it either. So you can rest assured you can shower, float all day in a swimming pool, swim in the sea or lie around in a water park and the bag will stay stuck tight.

chico41
YUP GET THE APPLIANCE, everyone I know who has crohns has a appliance and are glad that they did.  my  friend is in portland hospital and just got his on monday so cant wait to see him...wishing you well.

hello to everyone I have not been on here if awhile and hope your all doing well.  I had a 3 week virus that damm near killed me, but finally pulled out of it in time for moms surgery last friday.  So its been hectic...love you all

Leslie

Sure seals!!!

If you are using skinprep it can cause the wafer to peel up or it may have been the soap