Surgery update

Also I have to drive 8 hrs for my sister in laws wedding in 3 1/2 weeks my daughter is the flower girl, do u think I can manage that? My husband will be doing the driving and all the heavy lifting....

Hi Dee,
So glad its all over with for you and you will start to feel great in no time. The swelling will subside in time, can't remember how long it took for mine to go down but I think it was a few weeks. I had to travel home from the hospital which was over an hour from where I live and I know its not nearly as far as your 8 hour trip but one thing I found that made me comfortable was a small pillow on my tummy with the seatbelt around that rather than having it directly on your tummy to protect the stoma, I did that for a while after surgery cause I was scared of anything hurting my stoma. Keep up the walking and make sure you rest up. Don't push yourself too hard. Take care and keep us posted on your progress
(((((((((HUGS))))))))

Doreen

Please someone tell that this will get easier that this is just a hump that I have to get over physically I'm doing good so far but I'm having a bit of emotional issues, I feel overwhelmed a bit and I did this so that I would be able to take care of my family but it's bringing me to tears right now :-(

Oh thank you uc wife I need some encouraging words right now to know that I made the right decision, things always look bleak I guess at first I really am trying to stay up beat and keep reminding myself in month how much better then so on and so forth I have to get past this hump ;-) you are such a compassionate person! Bless you for being here ;-) I'm already stressing about fitting into my clothes straight away silly I know but I don't want to have to change much if u know what I mean.....

There are so many cute summer things out there you probably already have in your closet. If you think dressy pants/capri type will make you feel more secure just make sure if you can to have an elastic waist with a dressy top to go over it. Or... If you can wear some kind of nylon/jersey type summer dress (I just got 3 in Kohls) that will easily lift up and you can scrunch under your neck while you tend to things that might be easy clothing to wear for the wedding. The gals recommend the microfiber type panties to support and hold the pouch in place versus regular panties that might not feel supportive enough if you wear a dress. Once you are home and doing a little better you can experiment what you think will work best for you. Have a large enough purse with you so you can have an extra wafer and pouch on you as a security blanket that you will not need in all likelihood. And use the handicapped stall...hubby still does.

Is your hotel or place you're staying at near the reception? After the ceremony (assuming it is in church in a separate location) if there is quite a lag maybe you can go there before the reception just to freshen up and check things out or even a power nap before the reception? Just some additional things to think about to take some angst out of this.

Dee,
The wind is normal and will ease up soon. You have every right to be feeling down as the others have said your body has been through major surgery and your on pain killers. You have to allow yourself some grieving time as well. You have just lost a major organ in your body and the way your feeling is completely normal. My surgery was done as an emergency and I remember the first time I laid eyes on my stoma, I burst into tears and was very depressed for a while, I kept telling myself how much better off I would be but It still took me a while to get my head around it all. But now I love it and love life, there are some days where I think how nice it would be to just have one day without wearing a pouch, but its all good. It won't be long before you will be able to do anything you please and be able to have wonderful quality time with your family. Anytime you want a chat we are here. As for clothes it also won't be long before you will be able to wear pretty much anything you want. I have made some adjustments to my wardrobe but nothing too major. There are lots of cute clothes that are a little looser fitting that are ideal, I'm in Australia and we are in winter now and I can comfortably wear firm fitting jeans. Take care and allow yourself time .
((((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))

Doreen

Dee, everything you are describing is perfectly normal. I was so overwhelmed after surgery and cried just about every day... and I was very excited for my surgery to begin with! It is just so much to learn you have to deal with so many ups and downs right away. I had some serious anxiety issues as I had some healing hiccups and everything started to worry me. I kept wondering if this or that was normal. My husband kept reminding me that everyday my body was healing is some small way. I may not have been able to feel it in the day-to-day, but as I started to look back over the weeks I knew it was true. Then, all of a sudden, four months had gone by and I was doing great again. Now it feels like those hard times went by in the blink of an eye.

The best advice I can give you is to take it day by day and try not to worry about the things that are far off on the horizon. Yes, there are things you have to deal with right away such as making sure your pouches stick or that you are taking care of your skin... but other things like worrying about whether or not your clothing will fit can wait. I was so bad about this. I was worried about what systems I would be using on the trail for hiking when I was no where near that point in my healing. Why was I wasting my thoughts and energy on that? It did me no good. Finally I realized that I needed to be more patient. There would be plenty of time to figure things out... to try different systems... to experiment with food... to see if all my clothes fit... to learn how to go swimming with my ostomy.... all that kind of stuff. I really began to take things day by day and I tried to live more in the moment. It worked to ease my stress. Now, 6 months out , when I have the basics figured out, I can move on to the more advanced stuff like figuring out how to manage my ostomy on the trail etc. I still have to constantly remind myself to be patient and that it takes time to figure this stuff out. I am going to have my ostomy for the rest of my life and have oodles of time for trial and error.

Regarding some of your other questions, gas was one of my major worries in the beginning too. I didn't have Lapro, so I don't know if that bloats you up more, but I definitely had a ton of gas pain. I took gas-x all the time. Around 8 weeks, all of that started to go away. Now, I hardly take the Gas-X anymore. I still burp my pouch once in a while, but it is no big deal. I eat all the gassy foods (beans, carbonated beverages, beer, chew gum etc.) now too, though I couldn't until after the first 2 months because they gave me gas pains for a while. Especially right after surgery, your digestive system is trying to adapt, so don't worry too much about how off things are now. It will change a lot for the better as the weeks go on.

It also took me a while to get into my normal pants. I had to start off with very baggy things for the first 2 months. I still had incision woes after that, but the bloating had gone away enough that slowly I eased back into my regular wardrobe. By the time I had my wound vac off my abdominal incision at 4 months, I could wear all my clothes again.

Don't be too hard on yourself. I know it is easy to want to return to normal immediately, but this is major surgery and it takes a lot of time to emotionally and physically heal.

Whatever system the hospital has you using right now and if the wafer is sticking and not causing you any skin problems that is the most important thing. The pouch....I bet they have the opaque ones and in all likelihood the velcro closures you can order that will be compatible with the wafer. The hospitals don't have a large selection - you kind of have to take what they give you and then get samples to try if you don't really like the hospital stuff or if you develop a reaction to it down the road. (Hubby used the Hollister New Image from the hospital for almost 3 months and his skin decided it did not like the adhesive so we switched brands.)

Hubby was given the clip in the hospital and didn't much care for it. He uses the velcro ones and much prefers those. Insofar as clear pouches or not. In the beginning he preferred them only so he could monitor and see how much was in there and if it was thick and needed to be moved away from the stoma area down into the bag. The opaque ones definitely camouflage things and is a matter of personal preference.

With the velcro enclosure the most important thing is once you roll up the bottom the times needed, when you snap the velcro start from the middle with firm pressure and go to the left and again from the middle to the right so you get a tight seal. The pouches my husband is using also has a 2nd velcro closure after you button up the first one.

He has had NO leaking whatsoever by making sure he firmly closes the velcro. He does carry a clip in his pocket when he is out just for insurance if anything screwy happened to the velcro when he needs to empty. Just paranoia but it makes him feel more secure.