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ONLY 3 WEEKS LEFT BEFORE SUGERY - I NEED FEEDBACK !!!!!!!!

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Posted 9/16/2011 5:02 PM (GMT 0)
TODAY in class the teacher was going over the expectations for are senior paper today when i relized october is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER

and i feel that i havent even finished mentally preparing or getting just a little ahead of the game in school so i wont be drasticlly behind.

My bestfriend is telling me to think this through and see if i really want the sugery (which i do ) but i found out the ending of august. Im getting the surgery done so soon because of financial problems an next year i will be 18 and i feel i wont enough money to pay half of my medicine bill and my doctor bills. I want the sugery no doubt about it my bff had sugery on her spine and they put 2 rods in her back she says the she regrets it and im wondering will i regret the sugery . HAVE ANYONE OF YOU REGRET IT ..... off of the mental part of me doing sugery i still have failed to get the house in order my neighbor has offered me a queen size bed or full size idk just because she doesnt want it anymore so i figured that would be great concedering me and my 12 yr. old sister share a bed. my grandparents are comming 1 week before my sugery to help get organized. and the nerve wreking part is wondering if my dad will be there . he knows about the sugery hes been in and out of my life but every time my mom and dad are around each other my mom constantly asks for money because hes sooooooo far in childsupport if he visits my my mom can easily have him put in jail idk i guess ill have to see what happens

this is the longest i have wrote since being on this fourm but please respond i will HIGHLY appreciate it :)

Posted 9/16/2011 6:46 PM (GMT 0)
I have never regretted jpouch surgery. I had it 10 years ago.

I had no family support for my surgery. I traveled 2 hours by myself, had surgery, and had friends pick me up. I live alone and also took care of myself post surgery. I was fine once the sick colon was removed. It sounds like you have a lot of stress in your life right now and it doesn't help when people share their horror stories. You can cancel surgery all the way up until they put you under anesthesia so remember that that is an option.

Sue
Posted 9/16/2011 9:46 PM (GMT 0)

 

 You will be fine.  My 16 year old daughter is just 5months post-op from her take down surgery and is doing great.  Have no regrets, maybe one.  Wish she would have done it sooner instead of suffering with uc for over a year.  Good luck to you.  Talk to your guidance counselor at school to see what can be done for you. 

Posted 9/16/2011 10:08 PM (GMT 0)
thanks sue
and to worried mom 1 when your daughter had her sugery did her friends visit her 1 or 2 weeks after it or was she ok to have visitors 1 or2 days after sugery because i want my bestfriend from out of town to be there but at the same time people are telling me ill be to druged up to even rember
Posted 9/17/2011 12:46 AM (GMT 0)
Jackie I think once you get home would be better for your friend to visit. First would she be able to stay with you at the hospital, once visiting hours are over, where would she stay if she is coming from out of town? But if she is close enough to drive and stay for a little while and drive home I wouldn't see anything wrong with that. My daughter was on a lot of pain medicine and she slept alot the first day.
Posted 9/17/2011 1:06 AM (GMT 0)
I don't really think anyone here regrets getting surgery. I sure don't, I like worried mom's daughter, just wish i'd done it sooner. Your friends situation is completely different from what you will be having done. You aren't having foreign objects put in your body, your having a diseases organ removed. You really will feel so much better and so very quickly. You really will be out of it on day one and maybe day two so visitors are better on day 3 and on. Youre going to have 3 weeks of recovery time in which you can work on your school work. Trust me you'll be bored sitting around home all day. I wouldn't worry to much about getting ahead, just remember to keep up on everything that's set up on your syllabus. Maybe try and do some of the assignments that will be due when your in the hospital before hand, but other than that Just plan on working on school work during the same hours you'd normally be at school and you should be fine.
Posted 9/17/2011 2:41 AM (GMT 0)
I don't regret it one bit. I knew my UC wasn't going to get any better and I was only going to continue deteriorating if I didn't get my colon out. The surgeries have definitely been worth it.

Also, I had a friend come visit me for a couple of hours the day after I had my surgery. It wasn't bad at all, she sat in a chair next to my bed and we chatted.
Posted 9/17/2011 4:50 AM (GMT 0)
i dont regret it at all! its great to be able to have my life back
as for your friend, for the first week or so i didnt want visitors most of the time, and i dont remember alot of things that happen. it would be much better to have her visit after you get home.
good luck!
Posted 9/17/2011 5:32 AM (GMT 0)
Jackie it sounds like you have so much to deal with and I am really sorry you have that kind of stress in your life, I hope it improves. As for the surgery I don't regret it for one minute either, it has given me my life as it has with others. I wasn't very happy about it for about the first year but its been 2 years for me now and have permanent ileostomy and couldn't be happier now. As for having visitors I had heaps and I appreciated them all caring but in all honesty there were days where all I wanted was to be left alone so I could get the much needed rest and also I don't remember a lot in that first week either as things were pretty foggy. I hope this helps and wish you luck with everything, Keep us posted
Take Care
Doreen
Posted 9/17/2011 1:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jackie,
I didn't have surgery in high school, but I did miss the last 3 months of my senior year becuase I was super sick with a Crohn's flare. I understand your concern in getting your schoolwork done, but in my situation my teachers didn't even send everything home that they should, and gave me pretty lenient grades because they understood this was a drastic situation. I'm a teacher now and I would do the same for my students. Don't worry about getting ahead. Just worry about keeping up. YOu'll have plenty of time on your hands after the surgery to do homework.

As for regrets: NONE! My life is SO different (so much BETTER) than it was before the surgery. I don't have a jpouch, I have a permanent ostomy, so it's a little different but still.

I'd say have your friend visit when you get home from the hospital. You'll be bored at home and not feeling "out of it" like you are at the hospital. As for the bed, why not take the queen if you have the room? Like Sue, I live alone and was able to take care of myself after surgery. My mom flew down for a week so she was there in the hospital and for a few days after I got home, but otherwise the rest of my recovery was by myself and super boring! Hopefully your schoolwork will keep you occupied. Becasue you are young, you will recover quickly.

Any other questions, feel free to ask! Most people feel better immediately just because their diseased colon is gone!!
Posted 9/17/2011 3:18 PM (GMT 0)
thamks you everyone i definetly do stress a lot. I think ill have my bestfiend there just because we have been friends since 3rd. grade i probally will be out of it like you all said but my gut feeling wants her there ya know.
Im glad i havent heard 1 PERSON say they regreat it and its giving me a lot of comfort.... I keep thinking of how my reaction is going to be when i wake up and see my stoma .. I guess ill have to wait and see lol :)
Posted 9/17/2011 10:27 PM (GMT 0)
I wouldn't look at my stoma for the first two or three days. I was so nervous to see what it would look like! It is weird to get used to at first but now it's seriously not a big deal. I just try to remember what it's done for me instead of freaking out about it. Just remember that when you see it in the hospital it's swollen and stuff because of surgery. Give it a few weeks.
Posted 9/18/2011 12:30 AM (GMT 0)
I don't regret surgery at all -- it's like a new life, I feel so much better.

I think if you're wanting your friend there, go for it. My partner was there for me when I woke up after surgery, and that was great. I think I waited about two days to have other visitors and I only vaguely remember their visits. Actually, my partner can remind me of some things that happened that I don't remember.

I am sorry that you have so much family stress. I have divorced parents too who had a lot of conflict when I was your age. I don't know if this is a good idea, but maybe can you can remind some folks that the surgery is about you, and ask them not to add additional stress w/their own conflicts? I did this once when I was worried my family was going to ruin my graduation, and in my case it worked.... but you know them best.

I am a teacher too, and I and most of my colleagues go out of our way to acccommodate in a situation like yours. Really and truly we get it that some things are more important than getting the papers in in time. I had the opposite issue for my surgery, as I missed almost a semester of teaching -- classes I was really looking forward to, but I just got too sick to be able to do it.
Posted 9/18/2011 4:31 AM (GMT 0)
As some of the teachers on the forum have already chimed in, most are more than willing to accomodate those who have health problems. I'm in my last year of college and I wouldn't be where I am today without the support, encouragement and help from all of my teachers. All you have to do is ask, they will definitely help you out with whatever you may need. For example, my college does not provide online courses to it's students; however, I told someone pretty high up in my university my situation and I've been able to take special online courses at my school set up specifically for me. I will be able to graduate on time, possibly with Honors and hopefully with a 4.0. Simply ask....it won't hurt! They will definitely help! Honestly, I think your teachers may be more willing to help someone like you who is showing so much initiative and determination during a time of extreme turbulence. I'm sure some would play a pity party and maybe drop out! You have it in the bag!  I believe in you and you can do it! I think I can, I think I can! :)

If you ever need to talk or advice from someone around the same age, just reach out! :)

Posted 9/18/2011 12:32 PM (GMT 0)
One other thing regarding teachers that you might not think of -- we are older, and as people get older, even if they don't have serious health issues themselves, they see people in their lives having them..... and if not, they've had children or seen others having children, which also requires accommodations.... it's not a straight path. Probably your teachers are much more used to being flexible in these ways than you are....
Posted 9/18/2011 3:00 PM (GMT 0)
Also, if you're really worried, you can look into getting a 504 plan. That is basically a plan for you stating that you have a disability or need medical or other special accomodations and can help make it so you're not penalized for this. Just talk to your school counselor or someone in a similar position at your school and they can set it up.
Posted 9/19/2011 1:11 AM (GMT 0)
thanks everyone you have no idea how DRASTICLY your helping my family :]
Posted 9/19/2011 10:40 PM (GMT 0)
For what it's worth, no, I do not regret it. Not one bit. I am so happy I got surgery.
Posted 9/20/2011 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
I have no regrets at all. The first two to four months were hard with healing and getting used to everything, but once I got through that time period, I felt healthier than I had in years. I am thankful for my surgery every day.

I was pretty tired for the 5 days that I was in the hospital and didn't really want many visitors as socializing really wiped me out. However, I loved having the people I was closest to there with me, so I think having your good friend there would be nice. I was very drugged up in the hospital, but remember almost everything after the first 24 hours. During that first day I would fall asleep mid-sentence talking to people:) I think everyone reacts a bit differently to the pain meds.

You may surprise yourself with how quickly you get back on your feet after surgery. I was in a good deal of pain for a while, but I was still able to get out and do some stuff with the help of pain meds and someone to accompany me and drive. My mom came from out-of-state for a few weeks post-op to help my husband and I out. She cooked for me in the initial days, but soon I was able to chip in and help her. I just made sure not to lift anything heavy or do anything even remotely strenuous. We went to the mall to walk around about two weeks after my operation. Even tried on some clothes carefully to make myself feel better about my ostomy.

I looked at my stoma right away and was actually pretty fascinated by it. It was so wiggly after the 3rd day when it finally woke up:)

Best wishes for your surgery! Sorry you have to endure the family stuff on top of everything, but hopefully they will be focused on your well-being and recovery and things will go smoothly.
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