Having surgery in a couple of days...

But I dunno if I want to post on this board after the ileostomy has been put in.

I don't want to leave the Crohn's board really. It feels more supportive there, like people aren't so bloody competitive about how sick and thin they are. I'm quite upset at the moment.

Excuse me, NCOT. I've known you for a while on the crohn's forum and I'm aware that comments like this one above were not always welcome there either. I don't know where you got the impression from that we are here "bloody competitive" about our illness. Please be aware that this forum is not only for IBDer but also for cancer patients. So get your act together and if you - in near future - would like our advice and help, be more considerate here as we'll on the crohn's forum. You are not the only one whose IBD is bad at the moment.

I see I've upset one person already. Lovetoski, I feel how I feel. It may just be me being upset and irrational, I'm sure that's at least part of it. But I also think there really was a tone of competitiveness about who was the most sick/had the most daily BMs/lost the most weight - it made me feel most uncomfortable. You can accept that or not as you please.

Thank you, sincerely.

So do I... :-/

NCOT, you should post wherever you feel comfortable. I've certainly had my share of aggravations and upset from these boards but ultimately we post here because we want to give or get help, and you shouldn't subject yourself to discussion that bothers you. If you don't like this board, you might want to try the ostomy.org forums for post-op questions and the like. Personally I come here from the UC board because I have ostomy questions and because for some reason the prevailing attitude is to not discuss surgery on the UC board (there's an attitude that the UC board is only for those who want to treat it medically).

As to the competitive attitude about sickness, I can only speak for myself, but I think if it sounds that way, it's only because I'm just so grateful to be in a better situation now.

You're having a colectomy and an end ileo, right? Whatever you decide about where to post or not, I wish you very good luck and I'll be thinking of you.

Thank you, folks.

I'm just easily upset at the moment and that thread triggered me off rather badly. No one individual person, more the thread as a whole. So the ignore feature wouldn't work very well, unless I blocked the topic creator of course. I've probably been spouting bollocks and will be embarrassed by my attitude at a later date. But for now, it's still raw and close to the bone.

@pluot - There's an anti-med bias in general on the UC board, imo, never mind anti-surgery. There are some eminent exceptions to the rule and you can certainly still get sound medical advice on there, but yeah.

@ByeByeUC - Because if it exists, people will be competitive about it? I suppose I am revealing my own true nature there. Competitiveness is rampant in anorexia wards, so it is not too ridiculous a stretch to extrapolate that to other diseases - and, yes, I know anorexia has a mental component that bowel surgery doesn't, but all the same. I may go back and re-read that thread in six months' time and absolutely cringe at what I wrote, but right now it just seems like a bunch of people vying to compete with the topic creator about how sick they were, how much weight they had lost, and how many daily BMs they had. I felt that atypical people like me were being sidelined: not purposely, but it still upset me. You don't have to lose 50lb to be extremely sick. I truly believe I would be dead by now if it were not for Prednisolone. That is not melodrama: that is how ill I personally was.

Anyway... I'm just tired and waffling. Like I have already said, I'll probably cringe in a few weeks' time, but for now I guess my paranoia is still holding sway to some extent :-/

Thanks, colitiscanuck.

I'm pretty sure I will have lots of questions after the surgery. I don't know: I think the reality of having something stuck to my stomach for the rest of my life is hitting home! :-/ Wore a fake stoma for a day and that went okay, but there were some moments when I became aware of it and thought I really wanted to just pull the thing off. After the surgery I won't have that luxury and that thought has been worrying me a little bit ever since.

Don't mind me, I really am waffling now :-/

Hahaha, I kinda get what you mean NCOT.

I read that thread you saw. It's more of a validation than anything. The people that had the surgery want to validate that they made the right choice.

example:

-I was going 50 times before the surgery, I think I made the right choice? right?

- Oh yeah? well, I was going 60 times and I was weighting 90 pounds and couldn't get out of bed.

People want to gauge the reaction of others in the same boat, making sure they made the right choice.

In other words, let's pretend someone had mild UC and decides to have the surgery anyways, starts a thread like this and finds that the other people that had the surgery, most of them, had way way more difficult symptoms, all sudden the original person with the mild UC might think that he/she maybe shouldn't have done the surgery ...kinda of a deal.

To put it plainly "How sick were you" ...is almost the same as "Have I made the right choice" but veiled.

I think it's also people sharing their stories, sometimes that involves telling how sick you were and how much weight you lost. I don't think anyone is purposefully saying, wow my life is so much worse than yours.

As for actually having the bag, after a while you will forget it's there. It sounds like that's impossible, but you will. You will be too busy doing other things that you won't remember it's there!
Good luck with your surgery.

I honestly don't think we were competing - just answering the question of the original poster who asked how sick we were before surgery. That's not us competing, that's just us answering the question - I'm sure the poster wouldn't have wanted us to lie and say we weren't really as sick as we were!

I hope your surgery goes well and know that we'll be here on the other side waiting to help you out in any way we can.

NiceCupOfTea said...
Am going into hospital tomorrow... :-/

Try to smile :) Recovery is tough but you are going to feel so much better very soon. And you'll probably have some kind of pain med pump!

Hope your surgery went well. Post when you can. :)

Nice Cup of Tea,
Well... let me tell you how sick I was...just kidding :) Really, don't let it get to you...It really is how it sound sometimes, but that 's not how it is.
Honestly, I know it can sound like a my-bag-is-bigger-than-your-bag playground arguement, but nothing is meant by it :) I truly hope all your surgery went well..did you have to have an ostomy bag? or where you able to get a j-pouch instead? I hope you don't stop coming here for help, believe me, htis IS the place to go for support and caring people who can definatly comiserate with what you have gone thru. Please don't take things like that seriously..I would hate to think someone elses' bizarre remakr would stop you from possibly getting some VERY helpful advice and support!
Best of luck...keep your chin up.. hugs