How noisy does an ostomy bag get?

Not really a one answer question. A lot of the time mine expands slowly with air and I don't hear it. Other times it has noisy episodes and sounds like a small animal being throttled! I usually find the noisy episodes during or just after eating, as the peristalsis pushes collected air out. Because of this, I try to go places with a full stomach, but don't eat a great deal in company.
Unfortunately stoma's are fickle little creatures though, and there are no guarantees on their behaviour, although you learn to gain a degree of control.

I had a temporary loop ileo and it was very loud. You could hear it across a room.

not to scare you, but a K pouch and/or BCIR are highly specialized surgeries & ostomis, & are only done at a few hospitals thruout the US. And they tend to have high failure rates. When I was at my surgeons last week, he had just seen a woman with a blockage due to a failed K-pouch, & he flat-out said "Nope, not gonna touch it.". I know what you mean, the noise & work..... But, I think it's pretty easily dealt with- you figures, you're out for up to 12 weeks under FMLA, so take all 12. And if you hear/feel something start, you can cover your stoma with your hand, file folder, anything. To muffle it a bit. And you can always just tell people that's what it is, no need to keep it a secret. What do you do for wokr, if you don't mind my asking?

thanks. Eva Lou- yeah I fully agree that k pouches and the BCIR are not in the cards for me, and not just for the unique reasons of them but also for the same reason that I think a jpouch wouldnt be wise- I think my risk of chronic pouchitis is too much for my risk tolerance, seeing as my IBD is too indeterminate.

B'Dereh- thanks- yeah I hope I hear more reports like yours. All I can say is that a noisy stoma would be a dealbreaker for me, professionally, so I hope I can find answers. Trying to find reviews on those stoma mufflers- maybe I will be lucky and never need one but knowing that they actually work would give me comort before taking the plunge, esp as I just dont see moving to the jpouch as feasible, as I said, even if I get the green light (which I suspect I will get- only positively confirmed crohns in the sliced and diced colon would disqualify me). (PS congrats on your one year takedown anniversary).

Highly individual. As the body adjusts to the plumbing revision typically you should have less noise, that was my experience. It is also diet related. Most of the noise I have sounds a bit like a "growling stomach" and I have asked people if it sounds weird and they answer no, there are occasional odd noises that do sound weird but they dont sound like farts per se and are very uncommon. For most people the noise issue is not a big problem. remember you are going to be more attuned to this than the people you are with, most noise just gets lost in the background and or is quickly forgotten

I agree with B'Dereh.

My ostomy made quite a bit of audible noise at first, but not anymore. Whenever I was at work and it made a noise, I would explain what was going on but nobody every heard anything. They were very quiet noises. The only time it's been audible recently is when I was home. Not sure why. Once every month or so it will get loud enough for others to hear. I never had to deal with it "talking" around big money paying customers.

As for stifling sound - if you search the site I think others have commented on the noise stiflers. In my opinion, several layers of fabric over the ostomy would do wonders.

I can't pick anything in particular that causes gas "talking" for me (although I would say that I know have less "audible" gas now than I did with UC). I think three main causes are eating too much, not eating (having an empty intestine), and carbonation.

There seems to be several ways that gas passes. It sometimes seems like there's a slow inaudible, unfeelable leak. Suddenly your bag just has some air in it. That the most common type of gas. I also notice it alot at night. Then there's slight noise and/or slight bubbling gas that I can sometimes feel. That's the next most common to me. Then there's the loud bubble,gurgle,burp. It doesn't sound quite like a true passing of gas from the anus. This happens very very infrequently.

At first it is really really loud, like everyone said. Now I find I only get loud noises if I wait until i get really hungry to eat. Then it is sometimes really really loud, but usually I can muffle it with my hand. A lot of times though it doesn't sound like a fart, more like a groan or squeak. The once or twice people have heard it that didn't know I have a bag, they thought my stomach was growling.

Mine hardly makes any noise at all......

So always having something - something safe of course- to snack on is a good idea,in quiet public places anyway.

I echo the sentiment that people think it's a stomach growl. It definitely doesn't sound like passing gas in the normal sense. Some squeaks, some sputters, and some other strange noises.

That's why I say mine "talks" sometimes :)