Sex

I'm a guy with an ileo and am not finding it a problem at all- my wife, who has zero issues with my setup (she was a big fan of me not bothering with jpouch) was a bit nervous at first that she'd hurt my stoma but now she knows it's robust... If you want more security though, check out/google the "stealth belt"- it should help methinks (I am not big into swimming so I havent bothered trying it but I can see it having uses for sex perhaps guven your concern). Pluot will chime in as a former ostomate as I recall her mentioning she was having some lretty wild stuff going on not that long after her step 1.

Thanks guys for the responses.
Could I get a colostomy to do the irrigation? Does anyone know anything about it?
How do you irrigate?

     Oh Wow Cup of Tea...you clarified something for me.  I never knew the difference between a colostomy and ileostomy...duh....I have no colon, so I have a permanent ileostomy.  So When someone asks, I suppose I reply that I have an ileostomy?

My ileo is on the left side.

Who knows.....was one of the questions I was going to ask the surgeon but never had the chance.

My surgery was from a perforation from a stricture dilation so it could be because of where the perforation was and the fact that they left me for three days with a huge hole in my bowel with toxins leaking into me.......

-ostomy means an opening, so colostomy is an opening in the colon, and ileostomy is an opening in the ileum (last part of the small intestine). The colon absorbs liquid, and in order to irrigate, you have to have a decent amount of colon remaining to absorb liquid in the stool.

In a healthy digestive system, food stays in the stomach about 3 hours, the small bowel about 3 hours, and the colon about 40 hours. Irrigation is like an enema for about an hour a day, that clears out the colon. But with an ileo, you couldn't make it another 23 hours without more output because there's no colon to hold the stool and absorb fluid.

Usually the ostomy opening is created near where the organ originally was, but there is some flexibility, so people who have had problems with an ileo on the right side, for example, can have it moved to the left. The colon goes in kind of an upside down U, with the bottom right being the start and the bottom left being the end. A colostomy on the left side will usually have a lot of colon left. Ileos are usually on the right, because that's where the terminal ileum is.

Hope this clarifies.... when I decided on surgery, I first looked things up and hoped I'd be able to irrigate, but i didn't understand how it all worked... now I do.

BTW, -ectomy means removing parts, so colectomy is like appendectomy, taking out the colon or appendix, and different from colostomy...

Thanks guys, again.
I have had a few accidents with my x only because I would tape my stoma down and then accidentally fall asleep only to wake up in a mess.. I don't think he ever noticed and if he did he never said anything. I have found some lingerie to cover quite well but who wants to mess with it I mean your getting hot and heavy and it's like.. "Hold on a moment while I change" right? I wish I could just have the confidence I used to when walking around naked but oh well.
For me, personally, I was very greatful to get my bag because before that I was in diapers for 2 years, between diaper rashes down my thighs and waking in a mess, mrsa staph infections I opted for a bag which happens to be an ileostomy on my left side, I have disposable bags that you just take off and toss but I never let mine fill, I always empty mine throughout the day.
I have often thought about a reversal since my Crohn's disease is FINALLY in full remission but I do not know if after 9 years if I have the "pucker" strength I need, I mean I would think everything would atrophy after this amount of time.
I just would love to have my beautiful stomach back and the confidence to run around naked again, ha ha but having accident after accident just is not worth it.
Until they come up with an artificial sphincter I'm stuck this way, guess I better learn to love it, right?

Yeah, I don't know the magic words to say to make you comfortable, all I can say is that I didn't tape my bag down, I didn't wear a band, I didn't wear special lingerie... The bag was basically part of my body and I "ran around naked" and it was fine.

The bag may be uncommon and new to your partner but it isn't BAD. You deserve to be with someone who accepts you as you are. You don't have to put up with anything just because you have an ostomy. You shouldn't feel like you're lucky just to have anyone willing to be with you, or like it's your responsibility to make yourself look "normal" for your partner. Someone who can't stand to see you as you are shouldn't have the privilege of being with you.

Lasardo - If you will forgive me for being so blunt:

I believe summerstorm said it best on here "When it comes to sex, guys care only about one thing..." Uhhhh....me being a guy..i kind of agree with summerstorm..LOL!

PLUOT is WILD to not wear anything on pouch...I couldn't do that, but found some cool tiger stripe pouch holder that I found on internet...wife loves it...and, I've had no accidents during sex (only have sex with an empty bag)....wild or otherwise..it (the pouch) may make things a little inconvenient (emptying before), but once that is out of the way, it's all just as good.

I don't notice any difference (after time goes by) in sex after the surgery..but, one downside of no prednisone (for a guy anyway), I have to rest a little more now...just a regular guy without prednisone!

I'm way too self conscious to have anything approaching a normal sex life right now. I've been with my guy for 10 years and he's been remarkably tolerant. I had one major accident at his place about 2 months after my end ileo surgery (new year's morning, actually), and that pretty much soured me on sex and nakedness. I'm not afraid of the physical presence of the pouch, but it is about the least sexy thing I've ever seen, and I'm not interested in exposing or sharing it.

Oh my gosh, thank you for advice all!
Where can I get these covers for the bag online?
What would I google?

I just put in ostomy covers on eBay and got lots of results. Here's one link:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/U-Pick-Color-Ostomy-Ileostomy-Colostomy-Urostomy-Slimline-Stretch-Pouch-Cover-/111029887126?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&var=&hash=item19d9e5a096#ht_1208wt_1054