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Insensitive people

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Posted 1/16/2014 5:28 AM (GMT 0)
I don't know why this popped into my head tonight but I felt like posting it. Right before I went in for my total colectomy, a volunteer came in to ask if I needed anything. I was very anxious and very ill. I weighed something like eighty pounds. She then asked me if it was "my choice" to be so thin. At the time, I was so shocked someone would say this to someone just before surgery! Also, this person clearly has no understanding of anorexia or other mental health issues. I said nothing. I wish I could find her a tell her how insensitive she was on one of the scariest days of my life.
Posted 1/16/2014 2:15 PM (GMT 0)
Unfortunately you get people like that all over the place. The trick is not to let them get under your skin. When I was sick with UC my sister told me "Oh, my college roommate's husband had UC. He lost his colon because he liked eating his corn chips and rich foods." I was livid! This show complete ignorance and also places blame on the person when there is none. I tried to explain it but she wouldn't listen. In fact we no longer talk which is fine by me. I don't need to be around close minded people who don't have all the facts!

It sound like the person who asked you was about the same..she didn't have all the information. She's a volunteer so she may be open more to being "educated". That's all you can do with people like that is try and educate them if they are open to it. She may have been new to volunteering and didn't realize how she came across.

That's what I love about these forums...we can emotionally release ourselves here and hopefully learn how to better handle idiots out there! lol

*HUGS*
Posted 1/16/2014 2:32 PM (GMT 0)
It happened over six months ago but I was dealing with some family drama completely unrelated to my health yesterday, and it brought it all up again. I am meditating and trying to accept only positive energy into my life. Thanks for sharing!
Posted 1/16/2014 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
Good for you! As you can see I got family issues too. Meditation is a positive thing. Hope it helps!
Posted 1/17/2014 2:10 AM (GMT 0)
You shouldn't hesitate to contact the hospital's volunteer coordinator and tell them this story. It's not about getting someone in trouble, they should be educating their volunteers to be more sensitive to this kind of thing -- I'm sure MANY patients in the hospital have bodies that don't look "normal" and if volunteers are being allowed to visit with patients without supervision, they need to know that it's not OK to be insensitive to that.

This is not nearly as bad but I'll share... A few months before my surgeries I had one stay in the hospital just to get stabilized with IV steroids. The hospital was massively overcrowded so I had to be admitted to the oncology ward (the nurses always asked "did you have a bowel movement today?" at shift change and I would answer "I've had 15"). Anyway, there was a whole team of volunteers that went around the oncology ward handing out *milkshakes* to patients -- not Ensure, like literally cups of blended ice cream and milk. I was completely NPO and hadn't eaten in over a week when they came to my room to give me a milkshake. I wish they had just read the NPO tag on my door :( I said no thank you and they even tried to convince me to take it! I wish!
Posted 1/17/2014 5:07 AM (GMT 0)
This isn't an insensitivity situation, but I must have had the floor nurse one time cover for my shift nurse. I went to the bathroom and you know how they like to have their samples. So I told her that I had gone to the bathroom but it wasn't anything but blood. She said, make sure you let your nurse know that you have blood"

I had been admitted for UC and heavy bleeding.

And the home health nurse who visits me every week frequently unthinkingly asks me if I had diarrhea.
Posted 1/17/2014 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
A couple years after my colectomy I was in for a minor surgery with overnight stay. The next morning I was in the bathroom. Two bed room, one bathroom. Door opens right into the room. Well, I'm sitting on the throne with my gown over my shoulder proceeding with emptying my pouch. Next thing I know the door flies wide open and the nurse enters. I pushed her back out and screamed 'get the h*** out of here". Undaunted she pushed back in to get a urine cup from the shelf and left....closing the door behind her. I visited the desk and made sure that everyone knew the insensitivity of that nurse. I was livid.

Dan
Posted 1/17/2014 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
That ticks me off also.  Don't let an ignorant person get to you.  There are lots of people out there like that.  I have some at my work.  I have been off work a great deal this past year due to my crohns and having surgery in September.  I try to inform people about what it is and how hard it is for us.  You will always find someone like that.  Keep your chin up and remain positive.  Just the other day I told some of the girls at work, when I feel stronger soon I will try out for the skating team in September. I said just wait and see. Take care and remain positive.
Posted 1/18/2014 12:16 AM (GMT 0)
Skating team? Like ice skating? That's cool! I hope you get better. It sucks to have your hobbies taken away. :(
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